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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try and get my awful colleague sacked

235 replies

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:21

Some background is that I returned from maternity leave in October and my reduced days (went to 4 days) meant that my maternity cover has remained in the business in a slightly senior role to accommodate my reduced hours and so she has retained some of the admin parts of my role. She was part of the team and was given the ML cover in what I believe was an error of judgement from management. She got it after the person given it went on long term sick leave a week after I left. She was hated at the time by the team. She now has no line management responsibilities and I think misses the control.

She is still hated by the team. She is a micromanager, rude, disrespectful and generally, a jobs worth that tells on people like the teachers pet at school. She isn’t well liked around the rest of the business and people often comment on their displeasure of interacting with her. She will do things to make things harder for my team who are all great, hard working and lovely people. I cannot understand why! They really tolerate her BS most of the time. She will get involved in things that don’t fall under her job just to be a cow and ruin something for someone else. She usually gets nothing but support but she is pushing people to the point of leaving and getting sick of it.

Two of my team left during my ML time because they couldn’t stand her as their manager.

Things she has done recently that makes me think she is an arsehole are as follows :

sent round the company policy about not using the company printers for colour when a team member (worked at the company 10 years, always lovely person) printed out 5 sheets of A4 paper in colour for a charity function as her own printer had shut down whilst printing those last 5 pages. I had given the ok to do this. She knew this and still complained about it.

tells tales to me if my team are 2 minutes late getting to work. I don’t want this level of observation. it’s weird and unneeded.

insists on working in freezing cold temperatures and often sets this to her preference despite it being uncomfortable for the rest of the team who sit in hats and gloves to accommodate

has thrown away birthday cakes brought in by the team members if they’ve haven’t accommodated for her specific tastes (not allergies, just cake preferences)

I have made some adjustments to work shifts to create better work life balance for the team which has been well received by the team and she has painstakingly reviewed our company policy and flagged why I can’t or shouldn’t have done this despite knowing the team really would benefit. it’s a grey area and at managers discretion as long as it benefits the team with no detriment to the business. which it doesn’t.

Checks up on my own work and that of others. We are all very capable, intelligent people and she takes great pleasure in pointing out of anything looks out of the ordinary which normally back fires as there is a reason for it. It’s just embarrassing that my team or I feel we then need to explain or justify to her (we don’t)

AIBU to think that getting this person out of business is the only reasonable thing to do. Any advice? I’m half joking really. I appreciate times are hard at the moment so don’t like the idea of someone losing their job but she is just awful. How do you deal with people like this? She has been at the company 5 years now and has been awful the entire time. Makes most of us dread working and each interaction leaves a sour taste for days. Always the busiest person, always the person who doesn’t need to muck in. Always a tell tale. Always got an eye over her shoulder despite us being a really nice and supportive team. I mean, aside from this post but it’s past the point of thinking she will see the light.

OP posts:
NalaNana · 14/01/2023 11:37

This is classic Mumsnet. You post about a colleague who is clearly an asshole and half the people on here carry out Olympic gold medal standard mental gymnastics to make you the villain.

The shock and hysteria over a birthday cake is my favourite bit. I've always worked in offices where people bring in cake/treats on their birthdays, if someone else threw it away they'd be hounded out. Let alone the rest of this persons behaviour!

Michiru · 14/01/2023 11:40

You make a lot of assumptions about your colleague here, OP - mostly assuming that she is vindictive in what she does. I wonder how much of that is a reflection of your own attitude towards her.

But has anyone ever asked her WHY she does these things, rather than getting pissed off at her?

WisherWood · 14/01/2023 11:42

The shock and hysteria over a birthday cake is my favourite bit. I've always worked in offices where people bring in cake/treats on their birthdays, if someone else threw it away they'd be hounded out. Let alone the rest of this persons behaviour!

And it was chocolate cake. What kind of monster doesn't like chocolate and cake combined?

Pipsquiggle · 14/01/2023 11:49

You need someone on here who works in HR.

Every workplace has a difficult member of staff. It's really difficult when behaviourally they are toxic, yet technically get their job done.

You need to keep logging & giving her feedback. If more people leave and state she is the reason log it with HR.

Usually, the only way these people leave is because they find another job or redundancies where 'behaviour' is part of the skill set being used to pick who stays or who goes.

freyamay74 · 14/01/2023 11:50

'Posters dont seem to realise that companies have different cultures'

Or they do, and are considering the fact that perhaps the company culture here is that employees start on time.

The OP themself used the word 'late.' Not 'some colleagues turn up within the acceptable flexi start time'

Eyerollcentral · 14/01/2023 11:50

@WhenHarryMetSandro sorry but this does not reflect well on you at all. Sometimes you have to work with difficult people you dislike. It sounds like you and the gang are in 5th year. You have no grounds to sack her and it’s despicable to plot to do so, I’m assuming she relies on her salary to live on apart from anything else. It’s been really unpleasant reading. You can’t cast up she nearly got sacked once and no one even likes her. You definitely should not be tolerating your team bitching about another colleague. You mightn’t intend it but it sounds like you are loving that everyone hates her, thinks you are so much better and wants her gone. Focus on the positive aspects of your work and imagine how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot.

sianiboo · 14/01/2023 11:51

I have a friend who could have written your post. He did his best over the course of two years to get the woman he didn't like on his team sacked. He was the one who ended up getting sacked, disguised as 'redundancy'...the company made sure to do it before he'd worked there 2 years, so there was nothing he could do. He was unemployed for 6 months and is now in a job earning half of what he did before.

Liorae · 14/01/2023 11:54

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:50

Gemma, is that you?!

Neither funny nor clever.

You sound as though you feel threatened by your coworker. Maybe give yourself time to settle back in after your maternity leave and regain your confidence.

Pr1mr0se · 14/01/2023 11:55

Is there a chance you could be being a little over-sensitive to criticism?

She sounds like she's being a manager - a bit of a jobsworth but she's doing her job.

IlooklikeRonnieCorbett · 14/01/2023 11:56

Op have to say this post is pretty identifying, be careful of company policy etc if she’s the eagle eyed type.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 14/01/2023 11:56

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 08:43

You can’t effectively manage someone’s natural mean nature out of them. I tried it from lots of different angles

Well yes you can. An effective can anyway. Perhaps you need more training? There are myriad ways you can manage people's personal performance as opposed to job performance. Skill Vs will, mindfulness, Managing difficult people is a great place to start a Google search. Fit is very important, I have had to manage and change people's behaviour over the years. Sometimes they can't adapt and you have to let them go, but the real joy is in helping them turn it around.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 14/01/2023 12:06

It matters a lot for moral. I say nest to a girl who arrived 15 minutes late everyday, was 10 minutes over her lunch and logged out the phone 10 minutes early so she wouldn't be on a call and could leave on time. It's demoralising. I spoke to the manager and she said I don't care sort it out between yourselves. So we all started doing the same and it was true the manager didn't care. After a week though she did send around the policy on timekeeping, she was too weak to address it so left it at a passive point.

Marchitectmummy · 14/01/2023 12:07

She sounds like she is doing her job, nothing in your post is outrageous, infact the office sounds sloppy and might need her character to shake it up a bit.

DanceCapital · 14/01/2023 12:20

sent round the company policy about not using the company printers for colour when a team member (worked at the company 10 years, always lovely person) printed out 5 sheets of A4 paper in colour for a charity function as her own printer had shut down whilst printing those last 5 pages. I had given the ok to do this. She knew this and still complained about it.
You gave the ok which is presumably within your remit but for them to send round the policy isn’t unreasonable.

tells tales to me if my team are 2 minutes late getting to work. I don’t want this level of observation. it’s weird and unneeded.
just either tell them that they don’t need to concern themselves regarding your team or just say thank you. A bit ott but not a sackable act.

insists on working in freezing cold temperatures and often sets this to her preference despite it being uncomfortable for the rest of the team who sit in hats and gloves to accommodate
I don’t think I’ve worked in an office where staff agree on temperature, can a small heater be obtained for anyone? In our office when it’s getting chilly I switch off the aircon and say loud enough for everyone that I’m cold and switching it off to defrost. Another thing that isn’t sackable although it’s annoying.

has thrown away birthday cakes brought in by the team members if they’ve haven’t accommodated for her specific tastes (not allergies, just cake preferences)
I would have a word about this as it’s out of order. The lie afterwards would also need addressing.

I have made some adjustments to work shifts to create better work life balance for the team which has been well received by the team and she has painstakingly reviewed our company policy and flagged why I can’t or shouldn’t have done this despite knowing the team really would benefit. it’s a grey area and at managers discretion as long as it benefits the team with no detriment to the business. which it doesn’t.
In your opinion it benefits the team, in theirs it doesn’t. It’s not unreasonable to review the company policy and even for them to suggest your changes are implemented on a trial basis to see if it does benefit the team. Doesn’t warrant any action.

Checks up on my own work and that of others. We are all very capable, intelligent people and she takes great pleasure in pointing out of anything looks out of the ordinary which normally back fires as there is a reason for it. It’s just embarrassing that my team or I feel we then need to explain or justify to her (we don’t)
thank her for the input and don’t explain or justify if you don’t need to. Tell them you’ll refer to them when you need to. Another annoying thing but if they’re repeatedly dismissed in these checking up scenarios they will stop. Question why they’re checking your work and whether they need more work to do.

They’re irritating. Nothing here warrants dismissal.

Nishky32 · 14/01/2023 12:26

Meowandthen · 14/01/2023 10:23

Some of you are miserable killjoys. Never heard of a birthday cake and a few minutes of fun in an office? I call BS.

we have fun in our office - but for birthdays we go out for cocktails

Viviennemary · 14/01/2023 12:31

People should not be conistantly late for work even a couple of minutes. You shouldnt have given permission for the colour printer to be used especially when an instruction had been issued not to do this. You sound a bit too relaxed and want everyone to be great pals. Business doesn't work like that.,

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 14/01/2023 12:32

Nishky32 · 14/01/2023 12:26

we have fun in our office - but for birthdays we go out for cocktails

Including the teetotal staff, those who can't have alcohol because of pregnancy or a medical condition, people on a very low income, people with caring responsibilities who can't stay after normal working hours? Much more inclusive and cheaper to have a cake in the workplace during the working day.

paintitallover · 14/01/2023 12:32

I agree with OP she sounds hideous, s as no she has no idea how to motivate and get the best out of people. Some of the people who are disagreeing with you just sound oppositional.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 14/01/2023 12:36

Haven't RTFT - it's long. But have read the OP's contributions.

How, exactly, do you propose to have her fired?

No matter how awful someone is, you're proposing (albeit half-jokingly) to deprive someone of their livelihood in a time when cost of living is high and life is hard for many. If it becomes apparent to other senior management that this is what you're doing, or attempting to do, I doubt this will reflect well on you at all.

I'd bear in mind two things: 1. this could backfire spectacularly on you. 2. you can't change other people's behaviour, only your own.

Not to comment on the individual situations you've listed, I do understand you're not in an enviable position. I know first hand what a royal pain in the arse micromanagers are, and how miserable they can make your life.

But the solution you propose isn't the right one.

MrsLemons · 14/01/2023 12:46

JuneOsborne · 14/01/2023 08:32

The best thing to do is get yourself out. I always think if an employer is willing to promote or protect awful people it's not a good place to work.

Concentrate on you. If you're not willing to leave, how can you improve your lot?

I agree with this! I'd get out.

I left my job for these reasons. Had a god awful manager who everyone complained about but nothing was done. If an employer is willing to keep on a person that's like that, it says alot about them! It doesn't get better!

ApiratesaysYarrr · 14/01/2023 12:47

WhenHarryMetSandro · 14/01/2023 10:42

It was 45 minutes. It was home made that someone had made especially as it was the birthday persons favourite (they are friends outside of work). The PITA person doesn’t like the friendship and so I believe was being vindictive. Initially she denied it and called it an accident, then she had she thought it was old cake, then she said it was clogging up the shared kitchen and the smell was upsetting her as she doesn’t like chocolate and it was closest to her desk. She was talked to by her manager about it.

Honestly, while I agree that she sounds like an unpleasant character and a micromanager, your first post said she has thrown away cakes brought in by team members , implying multiple events, now it seems it was just one occasion, which she could reasonably claim was an accident, and it seems she was spoken to about it.

I think it would be difficult for you to raise issues, as most of what you have described is going to come across as her sticking to company policy, and how can she be disciplined for that?

As other people have said, it doesn't seem like your company are bothered by her behaviour if she has been spoken to multiple times and "nearly sacked", so if you aren't managing her, I'd be focussing on what's important to you, and trying to ignore any behaviour that doesn't impact you directly, and your team members raising issues themselves with management.

EasterIsland · 14/01/2023 13:00

You sound like a fairly problematic colleague yourself, @WhenHarryMetSandro I'm afraid. There's obviously a personality clash - just back off and be professional.

Posting on social media about how to get a colleague sacked is pretty vile.

silverclock222 · 14/01/2023 13:09

Not your colleague but you sound like a lot of mine who can't see past their own reflection! If it's that bad why are you all still there.

Company Printers - not for personal use and you aren't management to give permission are you?
Lateness - It's obviously often enough to piss people who can make it to work on time.
Temperatures - are you aware there's no cap on business rates increasing - ours has increased nearly 200% and we are sitting in hats and gloves - heating or pay - you decide
Birthday cake - if she's that unpopular why are people buying her cakes and why would anyone buy or eat a cake they don't like?
Adjustments - what you've done is create an expection for other employees so again, you're in the wrong.
Work checking - I agree with you.

PoloAllsort · 14/01/2023 13:16

Yabu. She sounds like she values her job and takes it seriously.

It comes across that you and your team don't like her and are probably making life hard for her. If you let staff use colour printing for personal use, be late, be more flexible than the business wants, I wonder if there are other concerns she has about you?

DirectionToPerfection · 14/01/2023 13:20

Yabu. She sounds like she values her job and takes it seriously.

By harassing colleagues about their work, despite having no authority over them?