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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell a lie or not

55 replies

Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 19:52

Sisters 40th is coming up and there’s a male stripper show in town. I’ve never been before but can imagine it’s a laugh. There’s a group going; now not sure whether to pretend to my partner that we ended up there by accident or tell him that’s the plan as it’s her birthday. He’s not going to want me to go but I’m an adult and can do what I like. I’m happy in my relationship but don’t want to not go. Opinions please ?

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 13/01/2023 19:54

You have a partner issue

Kangarude · 13/01/2023 19:54

As you say, you're an adult and can do what you like - so why lie?

Original poster
Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 19:56

He will get all jealous and upset. He’s been on lads holidays before and i don’t know all the gory details. I just don’t want to upset him but at the same time I’m 43 and going for the laugh.

OP posts:
TuneInThisTimeNextWeek · 13/01/2023 19:56

Depends … if he’s going to have a major mantrum and ruin it for you before you go, then tell him after the night out. Don’t make up some daft story, but neglect to tell him beforehand. You’re a grown adult.

Pennyforthezombies · 13/01/2023 19:57

Would you be happy for him to see a stripper and lie to you about it?

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 19:57

So you know this would be a boundary for your partner, but you're going to lie and cross it anyway? That's not how being in a relationship works.

And you're clearly not an adult if that's you're attitude.

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 19:58

Your* attitude

cowsaysmoo · 13/01/2023 19:59

Seriously? Sorry OP but you sound like 17yo not a mature woman unless it's a wind up.

AnneLovesGilbert · 13/01/2023 19:59

So gross. If you’re happy with your decision then own it and tell him.

QueSyrahSyrah · 13/01/2023 20:00

Would you want him to go to a female stripper show for a 40th?

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 13/01/2023 20:00

Switch it.. would you be ok with it? And the lie?

Loics · 13/01/2023 20:01

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 19:57

So you know this would be a boundary for your partner, but you're going to lie and cross it anyway? That's not how being in a relationship works.

And you're clearly not an adult if that's you're attitude.

This. And I would say the same with the roles reversed (and have done before, on MN).

nc1013 · 13/01/2023 20:01

Funny how he's controlling for not wanting her to go and she's got a "DH problem". Yet if a woman was posting on here about her DH going to a strip club for his brothers 40th he'd be sleazy and disrespectful.....even worse if he'd kept the advance plans a secret as he knew it would cause drama

strumpert · 13/01/2023 20:01

What's your attitude to blokes going to female strippers?

Original poster
Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 20:04

just wanted some view points. I feel like if it was the other way round I’d rather not know

OP posts:
Original poster
Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 20:05

It’s not a strip club. It’s an event with male dancers.

OP posts:
alwaysunderpar · 13/01/2023 20:07

Brothers 40th is coming up and there’s a female stripper show in town. I’ve never been before but can imagine it’s a laugh. There’s a group going; now not sure whether to pretend to my partner that we ended up there by accident or tell her that’s the plan as it’s his birthday. She’s not going to want me to go but I’m an adult and can do what I like. I’m happy in my relationship but don’t want to not go. Opinions please ?

Original poster
Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 20:07

I would never stop a partner doing what they want to do as I dont put restrictions like that on anyone.

OP posts:
Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 20:13

Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 20:05

It’s not a strip club. It’s an event with male dancers.

What's the difference?

BraveFaceScaredInside · 13/01/2023 20:15

If you respect him why would you want to go knowing it would upset him? It's hardly a big ask...

Mummieslncorporated · 13/01/2023 20:17

Do you think he would go to something like that if he knew it would upset you?

strumpert · 13/01/2023 20:19

If it's not male strippers why did you call it a male strip show?

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 20:21

It's probably magic Mike live. They select people from the audience to bring on stage and give a live lap dance to. I don't see the difference between that and a strip club. Both are paying for it, the OP is just paying in advance when she buys tickets.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/01/2023 21:55

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 20:13

What's the difference?

Show quote history

Strip clubs you can pay the individual girls for private dances. It's not a stage show where you might get pulled up on stage.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/01/2023 21:55

Asylumhotels · 13/01/2023 20:21

It's probably magic Mike live. They select people from the audience to bring on stage and give a live lap dance to. I don't see the difference between that and a strip club. Both are paying for it, the OP is just paying in advance when she buys tickets.

You don't see the difference between a private dance and a dance on stage with an audience?!

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