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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tell a lie or not

55 replies

Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 19:52

Sisters 40th is coming up and there’s a male stripper show in town. I’ve never been before but can imagine it’s a laugh. There’s a group going; now not sure whether to pretend to my partner that we ended up there by accident or tell him that’s the plan as it’s her birthday. He’s not going to want me to go but I’m an adult and can do what I like. I’m happy in my relationship but don’t want to not go. Opinions please ?

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 13/01/2023 23:48

Ineedtosleep79 · 13/01/2023 23:02

Have to agree with this slightly. While it's sweet that your partner wants you all to yourself, what does he think you're going to do?? Does he think you are not going to be able to control yourself? Fling yourself on stage?? Throw your knickers at him????!!

Show quote history

If my husband has an issue he would be told 'Fabio and I met for 2 minutes but we have decided we are made for each other and are going to run off together and open a hotel in Spain and if you think being jealous is romantic then you are more odd than I thought'

Stopthebusplease · 14/01/2023 00:58

I would just tell him that a group of women are going there for your sisters 40th, naturally she wants you to go, and you'd like to, as a one off as you think it will be a laugh. Then if he tells you that he doesn't want you to go, ask him to justify it, if he doesn't come up with a clear reason, then just tell him that he needs to trust you, in the same way you've trusted him when he's gone on stag weekends, or whatever, and point out that you won't be doing anything different than you would do if you went to a hen party. At the end of the day, it's about whether there is trust in your relationship, and whether we think it's seedy, degrading or whatever, is not really relevant, but I certainly wouldn't lie about it, because as you say, you're an adult, and free to do what you wish.

ThreeblackCats · 14/01/2023 01:11

If my husband went out and ended up at a strip club I’d not be thrilled, but I do trust him and know he’d never have a private dance etc.
Now if I found out he’d been to a strip club and then lied to me, I’d be furious. He knows that I’d struggle to forgive a lie, and especially a lie like that. The lie is worse than the deed in my opinion, please don’t go down that route.

Deathbyfluffy · 14/01/2023 01:17

Cherrylou93 · 13/01/2023 23:20

Any males with a perspective on here lol

Oh yes, but you probably won’t like it!
I couldn’t give two hoots what my wife goes and does with a group of friends - that’s for her to choose, and why would I get angry / upset about strippers?

Heck, she might even enjoy it - then when she comes home I get the fun part! 😅

Workinghardeveryday · 14/01/2023 01:18

ThreeblackCats · 14/01/2023 01:11

If my husband went out and ended up at a strip club I’d not be thrilled, but I do trust him and know he’d never have a private dance etc.
Now if I found out he’d been to a strip club and then lied to me, I’d be furious. He knows that I’d struggle to forgive a lie, and especially a lie like that. The lie is worse than the deed in my opinion, please don’t go down that route.

Totally agree

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