Or will I need to leave my job and possibly career when DD starts school?!

[Oneanddone88]

I'm a head of department in a school 75 mins from home. Been there 12 years and am valued and respected. Partner also works an hour away from home 3 days per week. No local family etc.
When I applied for schools, I had to pick the ones with some form of wrap-around. I'll find out in April which will accept DD.
Wrap-around near me is pretty poor, local school has none at all. However, even the ones that do, it's 8.30 til 5pm latest.
We've got some savings and I could ensure I had about 3 months bills saved up before the summer. Am I totally bonkers to leave my job ? I just don't see how it's even going to be doable.
I've applied for a remote education related job this eve, but I'm so sad that I'll have to leave my current place.
Anyone else had to make a drastic change when their little ones started school? Can I keep her in nursery forever please ? 🤣
Local childminders also pretty non existent too. Can't move location either (step child )

What do other parents do? You don't say how many days you work, but could you do the same hours over more days (or fewer hours over the same days if you're currently FT) so you start later?

I'm not entirely sure I understand your comments about savings? Wraparound should be cheaper than nursery? Or do you mean savings to cover loss of income if you did need to resign?

Can your OH work from home and do flexible hours? Is there really no way you could move so at least one of you is closer to work? Would this really have such a huge impact on the stepchild?

Also, have you considered a nanny?

Sorry, I work 5 days. Where I work is very rigid so I can't change hours at all. Partner can't work home anymore than he does.
Savings to cover loss of income yes.
No can't move sadly , we have step child very frequently and already travel 30 mins each way to get him.

Why do you give up your job. Why not both of you go PT. Surely could move closer to work. Then travel to see step child rather than travel every day for work.

There are agencies that specialise in after school pick ups. Koru kids...ive never used them but know people who have

You need someone who can bring her home and look after her there..rather than clubs etc that are rigid on timing. so just start with that premise and start looking locally

There may be a e a teenager or student ..ir even better an older woman perhaps whose own kids are grown ? I do believe unless you live v remotely you will find something...

Its shit though...both childcare and work inflexibility in this country

An after school nanny may be your best option. Have a chat to agencies to see how feasible that is and minimum hours etc. We briefly looked into it a few years ago and it needed to be min 16 hours / week.

I'm just thinking I'll have to leave and get a job closer to home , but that's not guaranteed is it. It's just causing me to stress and panic. I'll have to look up a nanny , hadn't considered that.

If you work so far from home
And that's your long term plan then can't you consider schools for your DD along the route which has better wrap around provisions? You might not be first in priority but could still get accepted.

To be fair though...realistically two parents with long hours and commutes is diffocult unless you can afford a nanny.

It's so hard isn't it. Me and partner work in opposite directions too

Can you go PT and work on the days your partner is at home?

Yes , had thought of schools on route to my work. It's a possibility isn't it. Maybe something I need to think harder about.

You’ve commuted 2.5 hours a day for 12 years? That is crackers

@MintChocCornetto had thought of that but sadly to go part time where I am (and have just one day off a week, I'd have to drop to 0.4 of salary. It's the way the timetable is and they don't allow shared classes either.

To be honest even if wrap around care started earlier I still think you’d struggle. All of our local schools start at 7:45, but with your commute this wouldn’t be early enough. Unless your dh can always do drop off/pick up, or you move closer to work, then you probably are going to have to look for a job closer to home. Otherwise I’d seriously try to look for a childminder.

@Wnikat I used to live closer before I met dp 8 years ago. It's nuts though I agree. Maybe this is the motivation I need to leave the horrid commute anyway. My Google maps kindly told me I'd spent 28 days in my car last year. Now that's depressing

@Tallulasdancingshoes I think you're right , when me and dp discuss it we always come back to the same conclusion, of me needing to leave my job and get one closer. It's just daunting. I'll keep looking at childminders just in case too. I suppose I have a few months til I find out DDS school place.

Your partner needs to do some pickups, why is it all on you? And find an after school nanny as others suggested. If wrap around care is rubbish where you are then other parents may be up for a nanny share.

@PuzzleMonster thank you, I will definitely look up a nanny.

Live apart from your husband?

Partner will do pick ups when he's WFH but the days in the office , he has to get a train which can be pretty unreliable

@BringItOn2023 tempting 🤣🤣

That's pretty normal for London based people!

If only there was still such a thing as au pairs...

It's not that crackers. Plenty of people commute that distance and more to London every day. My commute is 3 hours a day 🤷‍♀️