Or will I need to leave my job and possibly career when DD starts school?!

[Oneanddone88]

I'm a head of department in a school 75 mins from home. Been there 12 years and am valued and respected. Partner also works an hour away from home 3 days per week. No local family etc.
When I applied for schools, I had to pick the ones with some form of wrap-around. I'll find out in April which will accept DD.
Wrap-around near me is pretty poor, local school has none at all. However, even the ones that do, it's 8.30 til 5pm latest.
We've got some savings and I could ensure I had about 3 months bills saved up before the summer. Am I totally bonkers to leave my job ? I just don't see how it's even going to be doable.
I've applied for a remote education related job this eve, but I'm so sad that I'll have to leave my current place.
Anyone else had to make a drastic change when their little ones started school? Can I keep her in nursery forever please ? 🤣
Local childminders also pretty non existent too. Can't move location either (step child )

Even if you get wraparound to work, that’s a hell of a lot of time you’re spending commuting rather than with your daughter.

I’m not a teacher, but I thought one of the benefits was geographical flexibility. Don’t be dramatic and say your career is over, do look for closer jobs.

Childminder near child's school? We did that and also had to manage school holidays as I only got 5 weeks annual leave (plus one week unpaid).

Or yes - look for another job nearer home.

Our childminder does school pick ups and drop offs for school children and the parents pick them up for hers. She then has them in the school holidays too.

I think most people in professional jobs use either a nanny or childminder who will collect from school. Wrap around care finishes too early for anyone with a commute, none of it goes beyond 6pm which is too early for any job I've ever done. (Ie leaving the office before 5:30 would be unusual).

Nanny or nanny share - lots of agencies. Or an au pair (is that still possible post-Brexit?). What do other people do? And yes don't assume it's you that has to look for a new job or quit your career - your child is also your partners responsibility. He could try and look for a new job or be a SAHP...

Child minder who does school runs, a lot do

Definitely look for a wraparound nanny or a nanny share with someone who has younger children. And a job closer to home.

Thank you . I'm going to cast my net wider for childminders. It just seems that every parent I speak to locally doesn't have an issue . I live in an area with high unemployment so that doesn't help with the lack of wrap-around, my local school said there's literally no demand for it.

DD is also first child I've had to consider this for. It's all a bit new and daunting.

Is your partner considering leaving his job too? Why is it on you? (Not goady, there might be a reason!)

I'd be having serious talks about moving away from that area, either nearer yo step child I schools are good there or nearer your school. You may not wish to work in your local secondary.

Schools are all different, you could be HoD on.8 but not hoy in my school.

I had to change job.
I was top of my game, very senior and highly respected.
I took a far less prominent role with very different working hours.
It was very challenging after being expert in my field for 20 years.

It was professional suicide and took me about 4 years to climb the ladder again.
It was a huge sacrifice.
I did it for slightly different reasons to you OP but I urge you to consider really carefully the next 5 years.
Don’t do it unless your back is firmly against the wall.

How about an au pair.

3 hours 😱..... I'm 14 minutes door to door....rural drive so no traffic lights.....and even then I chose to wfh at least half the week cos its 14 minutes too long.....I seriously would never ever consider a 3 hour commute......even if it was a 6 figure sum

@arethereanyleftatall he's only been there a couple of years and it's a great job . As he already has hybrid working (2 WFH) I feel we shouldn't change this. Whereas I'm 5 days commuting etc.
The other consideration and worry I have is that we're both so far away from DD if she is unwell or there is an issue at school. Not sure whether childminders would collect if we couldn't get there for over an hour.

Try to find a childminder if you can - that’s how I manage it (tho I don’t have your level of commute).

It does feel really stressful but once you’ve got something sorted you’ll be ok.

however I’d still consider a job closer to home - that’s an awful lot of family time you’re missing out on, especially given the level of evening / weekend working usually required in our job.

Look for a job closer to home, and also look for a nanny, if you can’t find a childminder at all. It’ll be expensive but probably less expensive than giving up your full time job. But I do think it would be worth looking to move jobs closer to home if possible - it feels like it ought to be with teaching?

@kitcat15 it is a it grim, I'll admit. But that's what you have to do when you can't afford to live in Zone 1 but all the decent jobs are in town. I do miss my 7 minute drive to work from many moons ago!

I would look for a childminder as they are usually more flexible with hours. Or even a babysitter that could pick up/drop off from the afterschool club at 5 and have her for an hour or however long it is you need.

If DH has the ability to wfh then can he be flexible about his work hours, for example do the morning drop off but work later or make up the extra hour on his wfh days?

I would definitely use it as a reason to start looking for a job with a shorter commute though. There are going to be so many times when being so far away in such a rigid role is going to be very difficult for you as a family

How often does step child come over?

Yes I definitely want to stay teaching if I can but obviously I'm fearing the loss of my career if something doesn't come up. My subject is quite niche and jobs only come up sporadically.
@ColinRobinsonsfamiliar yes this is my fear I think . Although I'm not hugely career driven (not looking to have another promotion, already turned one down with my current place ), I've worked so hard in my job , I would be sad to have to start again effectively

I worked as part-time nanny for family where I arrived early & took children to school, then did after school (activities & tea). I did laundry, dishwasher, food shop delivery etc. Split hours suited. Job was through nanny agency.

in my experience, a childminder would be fairly unlikely to be able to collect your child during the day in most “come and get her from school” situations- it’s usually illness and you wouldn’t be able to send her to cm with illness, and your CM would likely have a bunch of toddlers with her. Perhaps if school closed for snow or something, and all the mindees were in the same situation, the cm would be able to go and get them, but usually they’re pretty busy with the little ones.

I'd be looking for a job closer to home. 75 minute commute is hellish even without kids. There's plenty of jobs out there at the moment.