Or will I need to leave my job and possibly career when DD starts school?!

[Oneanddone88]

I'm a head of department in a school 75 mins from home. Been there 12 years and am valued and respected. Partner also works an hour away from home 3 days per week. No local family etc.
When I applied for schools, I had to pick the ones with some form of wrap-around. I'll find out in April which will accept DD.
Wrap-around near me is pretty poor, local school has none at all. However, even the ones that do, it's 8.30 til 5pm latest.
We've got some savings and I could ensure I had about 3 months bills saved up before the summer. Am I totally bonkers to leave my job ? I just don't see how it's even going to be doable.
I've applied for a remote education related job this eve, but I'm so sad that I'll have to leave my current place.
Anyone else had to make a drastic change when their little ones started school? Can I keep her in nursery forever please ? 🤣
Local childminders also pretty non existent too. Can't move location either (step child )

@Eatentoomanyroses gosh, sounds stressful. Are you looking to go back to a career once children are older ?

For a job?!

A nanny or Au Pair

I know some people do “live” apart for work but they’re usually on a limited basis.

@DixonD that suggestion did make me laugh 😂

Hire a nanny until another Head of Department job comes up nearer home?

If only there hadn’t been such a thing as Brexit to massively reduce the number of people coming to the UK to au pair….

@Oneanddone88 not in in the near future as I’ve had another baby in the interim. I might do at some point as my wfh job is child centred and has been great for cpd so I think I could probably go back into teaching if I wanted to. Would have to be pretty desperate though. It’s not a parent friendly career despite what people think.

@Oneanddone88 that’s crackers. My head almost swings totally the other way, as far as I only know only one person has had the request turned down as she is a one person department and they just could not cover the subject. I have the joy of being in a big faculty and the flexibility I’ve been allowed has really supported our family. In the last 5 years I’ve ranged from full time down to 0.5, over a combination of days and hours.

I really hope you find something closer to home, or that work manage to be a bit more flexible

OP just throwing this out there as a way to stay in teaching. I work in a PRU. Very intense, very emotionally draining (but it's not like you don't see the same issues in mainstream) but small groups meaning very little marking and everyone (everyone!) Is out the door by 3:45 every day.

Either share early/late starts if an option or nanny. But I agree both commuting is very tricky.

@Eatentoomanyroses never a truer word said. It really isn't family friendly. So much marking and prep. I suppose see where you are in a few years time then. :)
@MumDadBingoBlueyy can I come and work with you please? 😁 My place refuse to budge on timetable, it's very odd and lots aren't happy about it. Unsurprisingly we don't have many part time staff working with us.

@Redblanky hmmm, there is a pru near me. Food for thought certainly...

It s 3 days a week and you have school holidays
So pay childcare nanny etc
Your pension contributions etc next 5 years are very important
Dont go to no job but do look for closer options which are good

Be brave and quit! There's lots of teaching jobs around and if there isn't the right one there is always supply for a while. Think of the opportunities you'll gain to see her first school play, go to parents evenings ( that run earlier than evening actually starts!), sports day, the Christmas fayre, being the one to look after her when she has back to back viruses through her first winter of school, going to the park for an ice cream after school, helping her with her reading....I can go on. Or you could sit in your car for 28 days instead!

There is still such a thing as au pairs (though obviously much more difficult since Brexit). Check this out: www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law/au-pairs#:~:text=Au%20pairs%20usually%20live%20with,least%20%C2%A390%20a%20week.

@Oneanddone88 😂😂 come along! Weirdly my head checked in with me today about what hours I’m thinking for next year 😊 there are schools out there who will be flexible, go find one 😊

My friend's DD is a mature student - and is earning money by doing school drop off and pick ups and after school care. It works well for her, fits into her lecture schedule. She picked up the work via her local Facebook Page (The mum asked on there for recommendations) . She is DBS checked and has references from previous childcare work locally.

There are people out there.

why cant your partner change job or leave why is it the woman has to

Can you get an au pair or even au pair share for pocket money. It will be an easy gig for au pair to do three after schools a week.

@whynotwhatknot I wondered the same. What does your partner think is the solution?Also wondered if it's shared savings you're talking about using to tide you over, as you've mentioned your partner, not husband.

Having a job doesn't mean you can't do those things, FFS.

It makes me cringe when women are advised to give up their careers so they can watch a school play or take their kids to the park.

Nanny while you look for work closer to home.
I am stuck, through choice, so stuck maybe not the right word,in a teaching post I really don't like, because it's 5 mins from my kids schools.
Remember that once they start school you will miss every single nativity/ assembly/ sports day...it's tough, and I try to reconcile that by being able to be home a bit earlier some days and not leaving too early in the mornings.
Plus I freely admit to panicking a bit at the thought of being too far away if something happens.

alanabennett I didn't advise her to give up her career. Just the job hours away. She's a teacher, she can't have time off easily during the school day to put her one child above 30+ others. A local job might mean she can pop out for these things a little easier, a supply job will mean she can choose when to work. Realistically she won't be home until at least 6.30 pm every day and leaving by 7am.

Same in our house where we were both working 50 miles in opposite directions.

I left my previous headship and became head in a school where DD can come and then developed the after school provision extensively.

Now we commute together for 35 minutes.

our school is open from 7am - 6pm so there may be some school options in your wider range that could work or closer to your work or DH’s work for pick up.

Luckily there are schools everywhere so you would be likely to pick up a job closer to home. Good luck!