Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

[OkIy]

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

Go by yourself - some of my best ski holidays have been by myself. Find a good spa or pool for the evenings, or sit in bed with a glass of wine and watch movies at night. The days are honestly more fun by yourself, and you will be able to push yourself/try things your friend wouldn’t have been up for.

That's so unfair op I'm sorry

This is a good message.

It will be much more enjoyable if you have her company, obviously, but go yourself anyway - and either way she needs to pay her share.

Did you have holiday insurance? That should payout if she can prove she is too injured to go.

Sounds like she is well enough to go on holiday even if can't go skiing.

I was thinking this might be where really going on. Although I did ski in early pg. very slowly and carefully.

@OkIy
Just go on your own and have a great time. Insist on her paying you back though.
I don't understand all these posters saying skiing's not the sort of holiday you can go on on your own.
Of course it is.
Before I moved to the Alps I used to go on skiing holidays on my own all the time and loved it.
If you don't want to ski on your own you can join a class at ski school at an appropriate level and meet people there. It's not unsafe to ski on your own on the pistes (off-piste is a different matter). Don't understand the pearl-clutching posters saying it's not safe to ski on your own. Pistes are patrolled. Were you to have an accident, other skiers would call emergency services. Or you'd be picked up by the piste patrol pretty quickly.
I live in Austria in a ski resort - I go cross-country skiing (on trails) all the time on my own and think nothing of it. The locals also just hop on the lifts and ski on their own. If you are a competent skier there is no problem with doing this whatsoever. If you are not competent enough then book ski school as I mentioned above.

If you're going with a ski company they usually have a welcome meeting and activities/apres-ski during the week so you could join in if you wanted.

Even if there's nothing going on you can enjoy the hotel, the food, relaxing in the evenings etc. There might be a spa nearby - there are thermal baths near me for example. Or if you get sick of skiing during the day you could visit a local city.

What @seineingefrohrenerpimmel said.
I am confused by posters saying you can’t ski alone. It’s no different from any other activity and often those are best done on their own.

You need her money. She can claim on her insurance for injuries but she needs to pay you back regardless. Instalments if she’s broke.

She needs to pay you and come on the holiday. She doesn't have to ski

Perhaps I’d message and say, “sorry you’re in pain. It’s too late to cancel the holiday, you’ll still have to pay your share. On that basis, why don’t you come anyway, even if you don’t ski? Take painkillers and see if you can book a massage over there? It might help”.

Great message.

If she replies back that she can’t come (because she’s double booked herself probably) then message back saying you’re gutted to hear that as you were looking forward to spending some time with her but you understand. But that you need the money returned today as you won’t be refunded.

Good advice here

For goodness sake do all you can to get the money out of her before you go away. The chances of her paying up rapidly diminish after that.

Indeed. Explains a lot of those I've been ghosted or why do my friends never call me posts, doesn't it? Three long pages and maybe two people have said "hey, maybe she has something going on, you should call her", which is what a normal person would do.

That's a very weak excuse so I'd be calling or at least texting her to make sure that everything is okay.

She needs to pay for her half whether she comes or not and you need to tell her this asap. You can tell her that she can probably reclaim on her travel insurance if she gets a doctor's note, but obviously your travel insurance only covers you. You booked in good faith on the basis of an established agreement. If she doesn't pay up then a small claim's court would probably find in your favour. It might end your friendship, but then it looks like she is doing this herself anyway. Once she realises she must pay she may come.

Yes - surely if you are travelling tomorrow a text doesn't cut it! Hoping you have called her now OP.

She isn’t going to pay. And your friendship will likely be over. Horrible and stressful situation.

Why did you not get the money the next day?

Why has it taken 6 weeks?

She’s a CF just for this and after this I’d want nothing more to do with her.

Hi OP. You can totally ski on your own, but if you don’t want to (I wouldn’t unless I knew the resort really well) then you could book a private lesson/guide for half a day to show you some of the mountain, or alternatively post on the snowheads forum to see if there is anyone happy to meet to ski?

Jesus, calm down! What does it matter? I booked flights for a group, I didn't demand payment from my friends five seconds later! Everyone paid at some stage, I knew they would. OP hasn;t indicated she thinks her friend won't pay.

WTF?

Oh this would really upset me. I'd definitely never trust her like that again. You must get your money back from her. Are you on Facebook? Can you out a ge wrap shout out among your friends, something like 'friend has cancelled on ski holiday last minute - don't want to go alone and all non-refundable, so would anybody like to join me? Text me if so'. And see what happens. And hopefully she will see it as well and feel guilty!

As this is the first time she's ever done something like this, I'd be more concerned about there being something seriously wrong going on in her life right now which she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about yet.

Yes I’d do this. She might not be able to ski, but she can sit in a café if the worst comes to the worst.

If she still insists on letting you down, be sure to go yourself. Book in ski school, you’ll meet people there?

OP and her friend have done this for 15 years with no problems. Why would she think this time would be any different?