Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

[OkIy]

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

I don't think she is much of friend. Ask her to meet some of the costs. And then go yourself.

If I'd genuinely pulled a muscle, I'd be there with you in a wheelchair if necessary! Awful!

Is your friend in a relationship OP? My first thought when reading this (and based on personal experience) was that her partner was forcing her to not go on holiday.

Sorry this has happened, how horrible, and I’m sorry to think this but I doubt you will ever see any money. I would go on my own if it was me. Happy Birthday 💐

If she refuses to pay her share I would consider the small claims court

"I've cancelled my ski holiday because I pulled a muscle at yoga"

Peak Yummy Mummy!

Honestly. I would be ending the friendship and demand the payment! I would also ask if another friend can come for free if you can name change last minute ? Or go by yourself. But I would be very upset. That is honestly unforgivable. I would understand if it was a bereavement or if she was in hospital etc. stupid reason!

Absolute shitty behaviour on her part, I sincerely hope she coughs up her share and you go and have a fab time, happy Birthday for Friday, i hope it's a good one whatever you get up to 💐

Payment demands and small claims courts? The friend hasn't refused to pay anything, there is no indication that she will refuse either.

Do ANY of you people have friends?

Ideally find someone else and she pays the amendment fee though it’s very short notice

if the pulled a muscle thing is genuine she could still come, relax, take some books and perhaps she could ski later on in the week

worst case scenario I’d go myself and join a ski school and ski with them for a week. I’ve made some great pals at ski school in the past.

no way would I not go. I’d be seriously pissed off though.
hope the snow is ok where you’re going.

• Contact her now and say “you need to pay your half, regardless if you’re coming or not”. Don’t let it drop. Don’t let her get away with it. (If she doesn’t pay, she’s a shit friend and you need to tell her that).

• Go on your own. It might feel scary, and you will feel sad but I promise you will be fine. Traveling alone is exhilarating. It’s an adventure. You’re more likely to get chatting to others and meet like minded people. You need to push yourself and get yourself out there.

Oh and 100% she pays!

Agreed, but of course end of friendship, having said that a friend would not treat another friend so shoddily.

that's the problem when you don't get cash off people they feel able to pull out and think they still don't have to pay. Lesson learned in future get cash up front or don't book- I would be seething if a close mate pulled out of a planned holiday the night before

On Mumsnet you always advocate the police, 999, A&E or "reporting" of some kind to some manager or authority or the like.

Doesn't matter how small the issue, whether its any of your business or whether it could easily be resolved face to face.

I would call and speak to her before doing anything else. Tell her it's too late to cancel so it's only fair that she pays her half anyway. And try to get her to reconsider, even with the pulled muscle. Maybe she'll still come around.

Make sure you get the money off her.
Go yourself.
reconsider this friendship.
in that order..

🤣🤣🤣

Very "Overheard in Waitrose".

I think threads like these explain lots of the loneliness on here...

You can't go skiing on your own OP, it's too unsafe. As a skier you will know not to ski alone.

Wtf? Of course you can ski alone. It'll be a busy resort with ski patrols on the piste, not the remote antarctic!

I broke my ankle 10 days before I was due to go away with my best friend. I still went! Despite being in a boot and on crutches.

she doesn’t want to go.

Yup she needs to pay her half. You can tell her you will try and recoup some of her half by inviting someone else but no guarantees. Sorry OP this must be really upsetting!

Is it possible she just found out she's in early pregnancy and doesn't want to tell you yet, so has panicked with that excuse?

That might explain the weak excuse after 15 years of friendship.

When was she supposed to be paying you back?

I think it’s bad that you booked it 6 weeks ago and she still hasn’t paid you a penny!

It makes sense to pay it from one bank card but then the other person should immediately transfer the money.

I would ask her to transfer the money now and give her a set time to decide if she’s coming or not (don’t say about anyone else taking her place yet).

If she says no then ask around if anyone wants a free skiing trip - they’ll need to have spending money and a passport etc but it’s still a very good deal for them.
And you get to go with someone else.

This is why you should always book and pay for yourselves individually if you have individual travel insurance - bit late now but a lesson learnt