To think DC will be safer at nursery than with a nanny?

[VegMam]

We're currently debating whether to send our 12 month old DC to nursery, or to hire a nanny. I can see some benefits of a nanny over nursery, however, I worry that DC will be less safe with a nanny. For example if the nanny takes DC to the park, what if the nanny doesn't watch DC closely and DC runs off, same with crossing the road etc. Or what if the nanny is distracted and DC picks up choking hazards. I think this worry is exacerbated by MIL telling me she can always tell which ones are parents and which are nannies at the park as the nannies are the ones playing on their phones / chatting rather than interacting with / watching the kids.

In some ways nursery feels like a more controlled and therefore safer environment.

YABU - the nanny is a professional and will take good care of the child.
YANBU - a nanny is an unknown quantity looking after DC in 'the wild' where anything can happen

I'm a nanny and I do everything I can to make sure the children in my care are as safe as possible.
There have been very sad cases in the news where children have choked in nurseries.
There are good and bad nannies and good and bad nurseries - I don't think you can generalise that one will be safer than the other.

Awww I recognise all your worries and fears. I’ve had both nannies and nursery and I will say this: A good nanny is safer than nursery, because of the 1-to-1 adult to child ratio (if you only have one child). Obviously it also depends on what the nanny does with your child, eg long car journeys might have an element of risk. If you find a good nanny your child will be perfectly safe, but if you find a good nursery your child would be perfectly safe too😊

I also agree with @NannyR - it totally depends on the nursery and the nanny!

I had this concern too. Well about using a childminder. It's just one person there with no checks or balances and a non-verbal child can't tell you if things are not right. It doesn't help I once saw a childminder in the area really lay into a child in her care, it was pretty horrendous to watch.

That said, with DS (my second) we primarily used a childminder. She was amazing and I never had any concerns about her - she came highly recommended by people I knew personally, was just so nice, and was rated outstanding. I might have felt different if I wasn't 100% about her. DS went to nursery too and I definitely preferred the CM to the nursery for him.

I agree to an extent - as above my concern was about a childminder v nursery. Mainly PFB syndrome really. I didn’t want my baby out and about on the school run etc and I was paranoid about the nanny flipping out.
In reality a nanny might be better or not better than nursery, have a good think / explore both options.

Private day Nurseries where i live are staffed predominantly with very young staff, often teenagers. They run at absolute max ratios all the time.

I would take an experienced nanny over a nursery every single day of the week.

. I didn’t want my baby out and about on the school run etc

This is such a common view, i always find it interesting as i actively wanted my child out and about doing normal things including school runs

Well they won't catch every bug going with a nanny so you won't be off work or called back because of illness.

I personally wouldn't use a childminder or nanny who I hadn't had the opportunity to see out and about with the kids they were looking after. I have seen a lot of terrible childminders - including one who just didn't notice a toddler fall 8 feet off a climbing frame. I saw one absolutely fantastic childminder at a local playgroup, would have been very happy with her.

Personally I would consider a nanny if they were only looking after your child, but not a childminder. There’s a lot who go to a play centre I go to weekly and honestly half the time they haven’t the vaguest idea where the kids are and babies are generally left in the prams whilst they have coffee and chat with other child minders. This is an extreme example I know but basically they are at liberty to do / go where they like with the baby. Also if they are unwell you are screwed as you will have to take time off work. With nurseries they have to follow such strict guidelines and follow early years programmes with the activities they do and obviously it doesn’t matter if your key worker is ever ill or on holiday as they are always appropriately staffed.

I have been a nanny and a nursery nurse and both are good options, it just depends on what works best for your family.

As a nanny I was hyper aware of the child at all times as I was in sole charge (certainly never would have been on my phone somewhere where the child could get hurt!), whereas in a nursery there are several people keeping all the children safe at once.

It depends for me - around us all school runs would be done on foot, that would be fine - but I wouldn't want my child doing lots of unnecessary car journeys

I wouldn't put a child under 2 in a nursery.

I felt exactly the same.

What's wrong with normal life activities!?

Our Nanny used to take DC everywhere with her!

i would trust 1 to 1 supervision over group supervision from a general safety perspective any day. If your concern is safety at the playground, i would want a nanny.

where a nursery is safer is that the adults have other adults watching. Adults don’t always have good intentions.

It's mostly down to personal circumstances and preferences because there's advantages and disadvantages to all childcare solutions, and staying at home (which I did) is financially not feasible for many and also have ups and downs!

My friend was a norland nanny and far more qualified than any of us parents, so much more experienced than most childcare workers so it really does vary a lot.

Go with your gut feeling what is right for you.

Hmmm. I have been a nanny, had a nanny, worked in a nursery and sent one of my children to a day care nursery.

it TOTALLY depends on the nanny and nursery. Many day nurseries really aren’t that great. Having lots of people might make it seem ‘safer’ but it’s not always the case. Good nannies are great. Good nurseries are great. Bad nurseries are awful, bad nannies are awful.

No easy solution. On balance, for a child under 2 I’d go for a nanny and for children over 2 and a half/3 ish, IF money were no object (haha!) and I was working I’d go for a nanny plus a part time nursery school (IMO these are totally different to day nursery and much better). Appreciate that’s a very expensive way of doing things although obviously 15 hour funding does kick in after 3.

Nothing is wrong with it - I did say it was PFB syndrome.

my third newborn had to do the school run 3X a day with me from a month old as I had one in preschool and one in reception. He survived.

Depends. A walk to school, stop at the park, maybe go to the shop, all good life experiences. Being sat in a buggy for hours while the CM/ nanny has coffee with her friends, or in a car seat while she runs errands, not so great.

I don't think it's helpful to talk about the options in abstract. As above, a good nanny is better than a bad nursery and vice versa. I was a bit more inclined to use a child minder when I first started looking but the ones I properly checked out weren't good options and I loved a couple of the nurseries I saw so it's good to be open minded.

For me, I want my DCs to have as much fun as possible and their time being focused on them doing activities they like. This happens for the whole day in nursery, but I wouldn't count doing school runs etc (especially in a car) as fulfilling that with a childminder.

she can always tell which ones are parents and which are nannies at the park as the nannies are the ones playing on their phones / chatting rather than interacting with / watching the kids.

This is pure bollocks.

The uncomfortable truth is that you cannot absolutely guarantee a child's safety in any setting. But both a nursery and nanny will take good care of your dc.

You seem very focused on physical safety over the benefit in terms of emotional development of having a single dedicated caregiver. I couldn't have afforded a nanny, but I absolutely would have chosen one for this reason if I could.

Well for starters I would stop listening to your MIL. She is just parroting a load of hoary old bigotry about childcare.

I agree with a PP I don’t think it’s helpful to think of it in binary terms: nursery v nannies. There are brilliant nurseries and crap nannies and vice versa. It depends on the individual/setting. Obviously there are strengths and weaknesses of both, not to mention budget concerns. I would look at as many options as you can and then take a view.

Me too.

Private day Nurseries where i live are staffed predominantly with very young staff, often teenagers. They run at absolute max ratios all the time.

I would take an experienced nanny over a nursery every single day of the week.

^ same. Went to look round two and both had 18-20 year olds looking after the little ones with a more experienced worker in the office doing paperwork.