To think DC will be safer at nursery than with a nanny?

[VegMam]

We're currently debating whether to send our 12 month old DC to nursery, or to hire a nanny. I can see some benefits of a nanny over nursery, however, I worry that DC will be less safe with a nanny. For example if the nanny takes DC to the park, what if the nanny doesn't watch DC closely and DC runs off, same with crossing the road etc. Or what if the nanny is distracted and DC picks up choking hazards. I think this worry is exacerbated by MIL telling me she can always tell which ones are parents and which are nannies at the park as the nannies are the ones playing on their phones / chatting rather than interacting with / watching the kids.

In some ways nursery feels like a more controlled and therefore safer environment.

YABU - the nanny is a professional and will take good care of the child.
YANBU - a nanny is an unknown quantity looking after DC in 'the wild' where anything can happen

I’m not in the position to hire a nanny. But I know if always prefer a nursery setting to a childminder. I had 2 childminders as a child myself, one was wonderful, the other was horrible to me and I hated being with her and there was no one to hold her accountable. It would be different with a nanny who I could vet more thoroughly.

How would you vet a nanny more thoroughly than a childminder?

The 'sociable' aspect isn't really a valid argument. Both because children with Nannies and childminders obviously do socialise (and more widely and with more variety that they do in a nursery) and also because all evidence points to small children needing few, close relationships far more than they need to be around multiple children the same age as them.

Nursery is more flexible in terms of staff sickness and holiday though. Less flexible in terms of child illness.

You would hope every staff member is looking out for the children and not their work mates, unfortunately that's not always the case.

You've more opportunity to spend time with a nanny generally because they're in your home and you determine the settling in process. With a childminder they will have a settling in process set-up and you mostly need to fall in line with that.

I would chose and experienced nanny over a nursery.

Your child will be one on one, in their own home, continuing to be taken to any groups and activities that you have started with them, eating the food you want them too, napping in their own environment that they are used to.

They would all be the big reasons for me.

The social aspect of nursery doesn’t matter to me either.

My older ones are 21 and 8 I am still in touch with people I met when we all had babies the same age, both times.

You would never, ever be able to tell which of those adults/children were just at home most of the time with their mum, the ones who went to nursery full time from 6 months or the ones who did activities everyday and those who did none at all and watched Mr Tumble for four hours a day.

People act like they will grow three heads or be doomed to a life of solitude and sorrow if they don’t “socialise” ignore each other or scream over a toy from a young age.

just keep in mind some (perhaps all?) nurseries take kids out too. some have buggies with 6 kids in or a rope a row of kids have to hold on to walking down the street. and how would the person in the park know the ones on the phones are the nannies and the ones playing with their kids are the parents, bit of a weird thing to say.

If you spend time with the adult...childminder or nanny watch them with the children they currently look after to see how the children react around them your in a good position to assess how kind that adult is....obviously hard with a nanny you don't normally see them with their current charges....even a baby of 10 months can show they like someone by smiles and cuddles

I personally think that an only child does benefit socially from attending nursery . Definitely improves speech and learning to interact with other people.

But the evidence doesn't support that. There is no evidence that children in nursery speak earlier or better than children in other forms of childcare. If anything, they're going to be spoken to far more with the one on one interaction of a nanny than in a noisy nursery environment with many children the same age fighting for attention.

I don't believe there is any evidence to support the claim that children in nursery can interact better with other people either. I'd love to read some if you have any links? But I'm not aware of any. Again, in a nursery they will be with a few members of staff and a number of children the same age as them. With a nanny or childminder they're out in the world meeting a much wider range of people, so doesn't logic suggest that it's those children who would be better placed to practise interacting with people?

And the only child thing is also a red herring because unless a child is a sextuplet they don't have five siblings all the same age! They have a range of ages, which leads to wonderful learning opportunities. Where is that best simulated for an only child? At a childminders! Not at a nursery where they group by age.

There are pros and cons to both nursery and having a nanny and everyone should choose the one that is best for them, but the 'socialisation is better in a nursery' argument is just simply not true. You should make decisions based on facts, not erroneous opinions.

@NuffSaidSam
This is my opinion and you have your own ‘evidence based’ opinion .
I generally set my opinions on my own experiences and can categorically say that I have witnessed my children and grandchildren thrive at nursery socially and developmentally. I also personally preferred having more than one person involved in their care to ensure safety and well-being.
People have different opinions about everything which is absolutely fine . It doesn’t make me right and you wrong or visa versa .

When it comes to choosing childcare, you should make an evidence based decision.

I'm not saying children don't thrive at nursery. I'm saying they don't get BETTER socialisation at nursery than with a nanny or childminder, which is what you suggested to the OP. Based as we can now see on anecdotal evidence of nurseries and no experience of nannies.

It's of course fine to have different opinions. It's not okay to make erroneous, untruthful claims about childcare to someone asking advice on childcare! That's unhelpful.

Safety in numbers and definitely more stimulation at nursery .

And this is just your opinion too. Not all nurseries group them by age and the ratio had to be 1-3 by law and no more than 9 in a room below the age of 3 and above 15 up to the age of 5. Maybe a nanny 1-1 might be good for some but you won't be mixing with other children on a daily basis.

I used a nursery rather than a childminder as I had the same worries.
also nurseries don’t go off sick or on holiday or on maternity leave etc etc

Bad things happen in nurseries too and also at home because accidents are a sad part of life. I’d say a nanny is possibly more trustworthy because it’s 1:1 rather than a busy nursery where it’ll be 1:6 or whatever. I send mine to nursery fwiw and so far they haven’t died so can’t complain.

Will say one thing about nursery though, they get sick all of the time. I’m paying thousands of pounds for them to come home with a virus every week.