To think DC will be safer at nursery than with a nanny?

[VegMam]

We're currently debating whether to send our 12 month old DC to nursery, or to hire a nanny. I can see some benefits of a nanny over nursery, however, I worry that DC will be less safe with a nanny. For example if the nanny takes DC to the park, what if the nanny doesn't watch DC closely and DC runs off, same with crossing the road etc. Or what if the nanny is distracted and DC picks up choking hazards. I think this worry is exacerbated by MIL telling me she can always tell which ones are parents and which are nannies at the park as the nannies are the ones playing on their phones / chatting rather than interacting with / watching the kids.

In some ways nursery feels like a more controlled and therefore safer environment.

YABU - the nanny is a professional and will take good care of the child.
YANBU - a nanny is an unknown quantity looking after DC in 'the wild' where anything can happen

Yes, and confirmation bias! Guardian playing on phone = nanny! I bet she didn't ask anyone if they were the parent or the nanny.

A lot of this is really variable depending on your area - the nursery we used had 7 staff members who had all been there for several years and most had or had had children in the nursery themselves, they also had one apprentice. I didn't visit any that had only very young staff but I am sure that's the case in some areas

The big benefit of a nanny over nursery is that you are choosing and supervising the person actually caring for your child - you will have met them, can spend some time with them before you hand over, will have personally looked at their qualifications, criminal record check, spoken to their references. And can observe what they are like with your child.

With a nursery, it's kind of luck if you get carers who are sensible and experienced or total idiots you wouldn't leave a goldfish with - you don't have any control over who is actually with your child, how often staff change and so on. You might not even ever meet or know the names of the people caring for your child.

The other thing someone else touched on is emotional security vs physical security. Yes, in a nursery your child might stay in the same safe room every day with multiple adults and be physically safer than they would be with one person who they love but who takes them to parks, soft plays and libraries full of risks. But it terms of development and attachment, one reliable carer is preferable from the baby's point of view.

I think there are many reasons for choosing either depending on your options and circumstances but I don't think physical safety is a benefit of a nanny to me; I would say it's the reverse. My DS' nurse go to the park/playground 3 or 4 times a week. I'm much more wary of a a couple of members of staff supervising a group of overexcited toddlers than I would be if I knew DS was there with a nanny.

Good nurseries will have key workers dedicated to children. Our DD initially had a key worker entirely to herself which was amazing, and later one she shared with a couple of other children. She definitely had "her" person.

Similar for DS, although he didn't have the one to one. And they even changed his first his key worker to a lady he preferred/ seem to bond with better when he didn't seem happy with the original one. He consistently was the one who I handed him to on drop off, that gave him back at the end of the day, and who appeared in most of his photos/ jounral entries.

So of course it's not the same as only one person looking after the baby/ child, but good nurseries are of course aware of child development and wellbeing and take account of this sort of thing.

🙄

Nanny is always safer than nursey because of the 1:1 care.

When are you looking to start the childcare? I had to have my DS' name down on the waiting list for his nursery before he was even born to guarantee him a place. My friend had to have grandparents step in for a few months as they left it too late (at 3 months old for a space at 11 months)!

I chose nursery over nanny/childminder for the reasons you mention. I was once at a soft play with my children and the nannies couldn’t have cared less about the children they were looking after! They were just out for a chat together.

Nurseries are not immune to hiring uncaring staff, but at least staff are visible to others much of the time and stay in the same environment with the ethos and facilities you can see when you do visits. I used to do pick ups at various times due to work and so did other parents so it felt like you got a brief view of the care given during the day etc.

Meh I’m a parent and I play on my phone and ignore my kids plenty

Soft play I've seen mothers switch off and let children get on with it because they're chatting I've had to rescue a few as a grandparent.

Visit 3 nurseries, 3 child minders and speak to 3 nannies.

You will know what you want and like after doing this.

It's really a personal preference

There's always one 🤦‍♀️

A nanny usually looks after kids from one family, so one to one if you have an only child. Compared to ratios of 1:4 for 2 year olds in a nursery setting, I would say it's less likely to be an accident.

However if you mean a childminder, who follows the same ratios as a nursery and looks after kids from multiple households, then yes I would agree with your concern. I've had contact with lots of childminders at toddlers groups etc. Some are fantastic but some are a bit lax.

Surely 1to1 is a safer option

Deaths at nurseries seem to have made the papers in recent years so on balance you I'd say safer with a nanny.

😄

My concern was always that there is no one to whistle-blow a nanny if there are any safety issues.

Not sure how to vote because it all depends on the quality of the nanny or nursery. A friend used a great nanny and there are great nurseries or you sometimes read about ones like this

www-theoldhamtimes-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.theoldhamtimes.co.uk/news/23236020.amp/?amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQIKAGwASCAAgM%3D#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16733760583834&csi=0&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theoldhamtimes.co.uk%2Fnews%2F23236020.chaotic-middleton-nursery-rated-inadequate-ofsted%2F

The secret is to do thorough research, although it's not always easy to know what's going on when you're not there. Another friend used a nursery with cctv you could log into in the US! My preference would be a nanny for more of a home from home experience and being able to go out and about every day

Nursery all the way for me.
No one to let you know if the nanny is rubbish or even abusive.

As a nanny I'm mildly offended by the "the nannies are the ones on their phones" stereotype. Plenty of parents are on their phones or ignoring the children and chatting to their friends. Sure there are nannies who do the same but the majority of nannies and childminders I've met have genuinely loved their jobs and the company of the children and given them their full attention.

I've read far more horror stories about nurseries than I have nannies but I'd still send my child to all the nurseries that I've had interactions with.

It's entirely about the style of care you'd like than which is "safer".

Your child will let you know. It's easy enough to see a baby delighted.
to see their loving nanny and a child who is scared/wary/unhappy to be left with their nanny.

Also, nannies are out in the world a lot of the time so plenty of people to keep an eye. Not like nurseries where it's all behind closed doors.

I hired a nanny but checked that she had first aid, I paid for her to go on an annual first aid update too, I paid any subscriptions she thought benefitted my dc.

Many many people came up to me over the years to tell me what a wonderful caring nanny I had, sometimes I didn't even know them but our nanny had made friends with them and their babies.

When my dc was sick my nanny cared for them really well. My dc didn't have to wait for me to come and collect them etc. I didn't have to take a day off, whereas at a nursery I'd be expected to. She took them to any baby clubs going, this also helped me keep a link with friends I'd made on maternity leave. My dc loved their nanny so much.

My friends dc went to nursery and caught every bug going over and over and was constantly off sick which was hard for my friends job. Then when their dc came home with bite marks friend was told there was only so much nursery could do to stop it happening. That was at an outstanding nursery. My baby offered stability no nursery could imo.

One to one care vs a ratio? No way. Unless you've got the wrong person I doubt a one to one nanny would be worse than a nursery.

I still send our old nanny a present 6 years since she last worked for us! Nursery can be amazing btw but I truly believe one to one is better.

As someone who does supply nursery nursing I would say a nanny everytime.

This was the deciding factor for me…

Nannies still work if your children are ill. Nannies don’t knock off if they have a bad nappy.

For me, the risk of being phoned during the working day to collect DC and then having to keep them at home for 2 days was too much.

In 5+ years of having a nanny, we’ve never had to leave work to come home, and on the rare occasions they’ve been ill, we have a reciprocal arrangement with another family for their nanny to take our DC, and then our nanny covers if theirs is sick