To think DC will be safer at nursery than with a nanny?

[VegMam]

We're currently debating whether to send our 12 month old DC to nursery, or to hire a nanny. I can see some benefits of a nanny over nursery, however, I worry that DC will be less safe with a nanny. For example if the nanny takes DC to the park, what if the nanny doesn't watch DC closely and DC runs off, same with crossing the road etc. Or what if the nanny is distracted and DC picks up choking hazards. I think this worry is exacerbated by MIL telling me she can always tell which ones are parents and which are nannies at the park as the nannies are the ones playing on their phones / chatting rather than interacting with / watching the kids.

In some ways nursery feels like a more controlled and therefore safer environment.

YABU - the nanny is a professional and will take good care of the child.
YANBU - a nanny is an unknown quantity looking after DC in 'the wild' where anything can happen

This is the crux of the issue.

There are good and bad nannies, good and bad nurseries. The key thing though is that it's easier to sort the good/bad nannies because you're personally interviewing them, spending time with them, checking their qualifications and references, asking the specific questions that are important to you. With a nursery you're trusting management to do that. Bear in mind that the nursery industry is suffering a staffing and funding crisis, can you guarantee they're not cutting corners when it comes to staff? I don't think so.

Having seen some absolute senes on nurseries I would say nanny but bad nanny is going to be as bad as a bad nursery and vice versa.

As with life general there are no guarantees and moreover, no perfect option, only compromise that you're willing to make.

Scenes in*

So much is individual dependent. A few years ago our nursery was struggling as the manager was on sick leave and things were falling through the cracks. A new manager and room leaders were brought in and it was amazing. The nursery manager is probably critical in what the experience will be like. Similarly, with nannies there will be brilliant ones and less good ones but it is harder to get a feel for what is going on during the day. I’ve been put off childminders by some of the ones I saw at activities but also well aware there will be some amazing childminders too.

We tried a nursery and changed to a childminder and I’m so glad we did.
The nursery, on our pre-admission visits seemed great, but once our son started I saw lots of things I didn’t like. The baby room was ran by mostly late teens, who I’m sure were doing their best but really seemed to lack common sense. There were issues that would have been easily resolved with a bit of thought or communication but weren’t. The children all had a “key worker” but were looked after by anyone in their room. Often this meant they were greeted into nursery by someone they weren’t familiar with, making drop offs any settling in more upsetting than it needed to be. All round I just found it a bit chaotic and didn’t feel like there was anyone taking personal responsibility for the care of my child.
Our childminder on the other hand is absolutely fantastic. She describes her role as providing a home-from-home and that’s exactly what it is. She’s very honest and I trust her more than I ever did the nursery workers. Our son has a really lovely relationship with her. She’s a mum herself and also an early years teacher which is great.
From my experience and friends’, I think that a nursery is ok once they get to 3, any younger than that and I think they benefit from having a single care giver (besides their family obviously).

It’s all young girls at DS’s nursery, but I’m fine with that. They are lovely, gentle and caring and that’s what is important. I am sure most Nannies and CMs are too. I’m sure it makes a nice change for DS to be around younger adults, I was 40 when I had him!

I work in a nursery. I'd choose the nanny. I had child minder for dc3 and regret putting my first dc in a nursery.

Childminders have to follow the same guidelines as nurseries. Have you seen the news this week I think that is one of many cases proving they are not safe just because there is more staff.
How do you know these childminders are registered childminders or unaware where the children are? You don't have to be following 3 year olds around to know exactly where they are. How do you know it's not a nap time?

We have a childminder who is excellent. I wouldn't want my daughter at a nursery before she's 3. The childminder's home is spotless and it's been the greatest environment for our girl.

Childminder ratios are not 1 to 4 it's normally 1 to 3 and unlike a nursery which includes office staff the ratio is actually working with not available on the premises. You also get childminders working with others but the ratio is still 1 to 3.

@jannier I haven't seen anything in the news about a nursery this week. What's happened?

1 year old Child died whilst napping 6 staff members and managers arrested.

There's more to baby care than just safety. Personal relationships are extremely important. Having someone talk and sing to your baby and respond quickly to cues is the way human babies are designed. Care from just one person fulfills those needs.

You can focus a nanny on safety if you provide an incident log for him or her to fill out, as well as a nappy and sleep log.

Like others have said, you can get poor nannies and poor nurseries. If I had the choice I would absolutely go for a nanny. Your child will get more attention 1 :1 and your life will be so much easier. No rushing around to drop off or pick up. You will have much more input into the daily routine and get loads of feedback.

Tut!!

Your MIL's logic is fundamentally flawed unless she's going around the playground asking every guardian on their phone or not about their relationship to the child they're with - there's no evidence to back up what she's concluded from what she's seeing.
And if she is going around the playground interviewing people, I would be even less inclined to take a steer from her, because that would be batshit.

You won't get anywhere comparing averages and anecdotes, OP, what you need to be assessing is specifics - the nursery you would be most likely to use and the nanny you would use. Compare both against a neutral set of your requirements like cost, sickness policy, staff holidays, communication and updates, your expectations of the stimulus and learning you want for your child, etc etc. Only then will you be able to make an informed decision.

Go by recommendations of all setting types then make a shortlist and visit or interview a few judge how things seem for the children how warm and welcoming the staff/individual is look at how confident the children are to speak and approach the adults are any being left out or overlooked? Do individuals show interest in your child and your parenting look at references and training ( nannies and childminders have these) Ofsted reports will show any complaints even those found to be malicious. Talk to existing parents and go by what you feel is the best fit.

My first really hated (HATED!) both the car seat and the pram, so this was honestly the main reason for me to avoid a childminder because at least at a nursery that wasn’t a problem.
Second child wasn’t as bad in the pram but still didn’t enjoy it at all, which I’m assuming is pretty common and maybe a reason a lot of parents don’t really want their children on the school run?

I am a nanny my charges have all ended up in Ae due to accidents at nursery and school none with me.
My phone hardly makes an appearance all day long
Yes I do see other nannies we do chat but each nanny is another set of eyes.
Have rescued more than a few children who have got into trouble while a mum has been trying to work using the phone
The nearest park to work the nursery children are strayed to this plastic thing let loose for pictures then back in again.

Some people have no choice.

So many judgemental people on here about nurseries and they've never even had their child in one. Well aren't you lucky as some of us do not have an option other than a nursery. We had no childminders or nannies who had space for my child by where we live or by where we worked. It had to be a nursery and from 9 months old. Yes she gets colds but my god she'll have a good immune system by the time they start school. And my god they do their best by the kids. They follow the national curriculum and we get an in-depth analysis of what they've done throughout the day including meals, activities and photos. Go with what you feel most comfortable with, from my own experience, nursery is good and my child is flourishing.

Lots of great advice thank you. We’ve got a nursery spot but the nursery recently extended and we feel it’s too big and just doesn’t give us a good feeling. Hence considering a nanny.

Oh fuck off

OP is looking at childcare, not listing her DC on eBay