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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think of you’re signed off sick you should stay at home?

223 replies

Poppins17 · 11/01/2023 07:32

I’ve been unwell since the beginning of December.

I’m currently on my second dose of antibiotics and have now got steroids.

Dr informed me to rest as much as possible but there was no discussion about time off work.

I work in a senior position in Local Government, and have 15 staff to manage as well as assets.

I met a friend last night (which was a mistake as when I got home I realised I didn’t have the energy to do that), and she said how unwell I looked, and how I needed to go back to the drs to get signed off work.

She mentioned doing a few things whilst off sick to help with my well-being (spa days, going to the coast etc).

It made me wonder something that I assume when people are off sick they stay at home and don’t engage in any ‘nice’ activities.. is this an old fashioned view now?

Just to stay I work in the same village as where I live so likely people would see me out and about.

YABU - You should engage in nice activities for your own well being

YANBU - You should stay at home

OP posts:
notacooldad · 11/01/2023 07:34

Depends what you are ill with .🤷‍♀️

Mintakan · 11/01/2023 07:35

Unfortunately convalescence has fallen prey to hustle culture.

Healing means rest yes but also relaxation. That can be a spa day, a stroll in the woods, a trip to the beach or whatever you can manage.

It all aids recovery both mental and physical.

ShippingNews · 11/01/2023 07:35

I'm with you, really. If you are signed off sick, you are not well enough for "nice" activities. I know that people now say that you should be able to go for spa days etc for your wellbeing, but I can't help thinking that if you are well enough to go to a spa you are well enough for work. I fully expect to get shot down in flames though.

CatsEatDogs · 11/01/2023 07:36

Depends what your sickness is. Given that you didn’t have the energy to meet a friend, and the doc told you to rest, then a trip to the coast is clearly not a good idea.
but if someone is off work with other and different health issues, then yes, a trip out might be just what they need to recuperate

watchfulwishes · 11/01/2023 07:36

You are completely behind the times and your view is self-abusive.

You say that you manage staff? In local government? Have you read any of your organisation's HR policies around managing staff sickness? I am very sceptical that you manage a team in 2022 in the public sector and you are asking this question.

Of course you can do things when you are off sick. This has been recommended by doctors for decades. Staying in with the curtains drawn is old-fashioned.

Going to the coast has been recommended since the 1800s - it is hardly a modern idea Hmm

Mercurial123 · 11/01/2023 07:36

I was walking 5 to 10 kms a day a week after a hysterectomy. It was recommended to move. I agree it depends what you have. I certainly wouldn't be doing a spa day.

wishingitwasfriday · 11/01/2023 07:37

I think it depends on what the Illness is. For mental health then it's very beneficial to get out and about. For a chest infection then you're probably not going to do yourself any favours being out, what you need is rest until you feel better or well enough to return to work. Also the current infections are quite contagious and so I'd be concerned about passing it on.

MynameisJune · 11/01/2023 07:37

It depends on the illness surely? If someone is signed off with stress then yes spa days/days out can help that. If you have an infectious disease probably best to stay home as much as possible.

I’m due eye surgery soon and will be signed off for 6 weeks, once I’m able to walk around I’ll be going out for walks with my husband and maybe the odd lunch out etc. But I won’t be able to drive or go out unaccompanied.

watchfulwishes · 11/01/2023 07:38

ShippingNews · 11/01/2023 07:35

I'm with you, really. If you are signed off sick, you are not well enough for "nice" activities. I know that people now say that you should be able to go for spa days etc for your wellbeing, but I can't help thinking that if you are well enough to go to a spa you are well enough for work. I fully expect to get shot down in flames though.

That totally depends what you are signed off with. If you are recovering from e.g. surgery, you will speed up your recovery if you recuperate well.

Why would you want to prolong your time off work by hiding at home?

If you have something infectious or that needs bed rest, then obviously not.

Suziesz · 11/01/2023 07:38

I think it is an old fashioned view but one a lot of people have. The reality is when you’ve been off for a while you also need to build your strength back up gradually. You can’t go from staying at home sick for 6 weeks to working a 50 hr week out of the house the next.

riotlady · 11/01/2023 07:40

Depends on the activity and what you’re off sick with. Would raise my eyebrows at someone off with a bad back going water skiing, but a gentle walk for someone recovering from surgery or with mental health problems sounds like an excellent idea.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 11/01/2023 07:41

YABU.

Obviously it's illness dependent but having (for example) a broken arm doesn't mean you have to stay home for six weeks, even thought it might mean you can't drive and get to work.

Lots of mental illnesses also benefit hugely from fresh air, exercise and a bit of normality.

Unicorn717 · 11/01/2023 07:42

I think it depends. If you have been told to rest then you should stay home. If you have depression (just an example) and would be better off seeing a few friends then so be it. But if you're out shopping for a new outfit just because you fancy it then you should probably be at work.

piedbeauty · 11/01/2023 07:42

I'm on the fence about this. If you're off sick I don't think you should be out in the pub every night partying, but it would probably be beneficial to go out for walks, meet friends, etc. Going to the coast? I don't see why not. A spa day? You could probably do that - although it should probably mean relaxing by the pool all day and having a relaxing massage, not going with ten friends and dancing all night!

People in your village might well notice what you're doing, but they should mind their own business. Sounds like you're run down and need some time off work to recover.

Original poster
Poppins17 · 11/01/2023 07:43

I was initially told I had this cough / cold going around then a week later told that I had flu (this coincided with a two week Christmas break where I was just at home didn’t see anyone or go anywhere), now I have been told I have sinusitis.

I’m unsure really whether it is just that as I have no energy, feel really worn out etc.

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 11/01/2023 07:43

Totally depends.

COVID or flu, yes you shouldn’t be out as you are infectious.

Mental health episode: staying indoors for weeks without any exercise or fresh air is probably the worst thing you can do.

BananaSpanner · 11/01/2023 07:44

I think another consideration is your working relationships when you return to work. If people have had to pick up the extra demand whilst you are off and are tired/stressed as a result and they see you having a lovely time, rightly or wrongly it can cause bad feeling.

Do what’s best for your recovery but don’t put it on social media and maybe try and be discreet.

maranella · 11/01/2023 07:46

Going on a spa day when you're so ill you've been signed off work is taking the piss IMO. If I was covering your work while you were off sick I'd be furious if I found out you were spending the day at a spa. Going out and getting fresh air though, walking on a local beach or going for a swim at your local leisure centre I don't think anyone would have a problem with.

Redlocks30 · 11/01/2023 07:50

BananaSpanner · 11/01/2023 07:44

I think another consideration is your working relationships when you return to work. If people have had to pick up the extra demand whilst you are off and are tired/stressed as a result and they see you having a lovely time, rightly or wrongly it can cause bad feeling.

Do what’s best for your recovery but don’t put it on social media and maybe try and be discreet.

I agree with this. We had a member of staff off on long term wrs some years back. It caused huge workload for the remaining staff who were also on the edge of burnout. She posted loads of photos on social media of her out pissed and clubbing. Rightly or wrongly, she lost some friends.

Refreshmentsanyone · 11/01/2023 07:53

Suziesz · 11/01/2023 07:38

I think it is an old fashioned view but one a lot of people have. The reality is when you’ve been off for a while you also need to build your strength back up gradually. You can’t go from staying at home sick for 6 weeks to working a 50 hr week out of the house the next.

I think that’s what the return to work interview should be about although I guess the reality is often different.
My experience is that if you are stressed and ill a lot you probably need a different job rather than taking lots of sick days.
Physically being ill it’s often good to move around but I wouldn’t really be socialising . I nearly killed myself when younger, going out the day after a blood transfusion to show I was fine.

GrouchyKiwi · 11/01/2023 07:58

In your situation I'd think that gentle walks in the fresh air would be helpful, and as PP points out, you can't go from bed rest straight back to work. Building up strength gradually makes sense.

I was signed off sick for two weeks by Occ Health because of depression so DH and I went away for a few days. Staying at home when I didn't want to be would have made me worse.

Polarbearyfairy · 11/01/2023 07:59

I think it's an old fashioned view and it entirely depends on why you're off work.

With your ailments I certainly wouldn't be going to the spa and day trips! I'd be resting for my own well-being and recovery, going for a walk each day to get some fresh air but generally putting my feet up to allow my body to do it's work getting better.

If you were off with depression/other mental health issue getting out and about can be very helpful as staying in and isolating yourself can be detrimental to recovery.

BrimFullOfAsher · 11/01/2023 08:01

If its a germ related absence, then yes you are BU.

If it's more mental or emotional then no you are not.

So yes, you are BU

MelchiorsMistress · 11/01/2023 08:01

Spa days and trips to the coast aren’t really appropriate when you’ve been signed off sick for a physical illness. It might be more acceptable if it were part of recovery from a mental illness, but that’s not what you have.

LaFemmeDamnee · 11/01/2023 08:01

ShippingNews · 11/01/2023 07:35

I'm with you, really. If you are signed off sick, you are not well enough for "nice" activities. I know that people now say that you should be able to go for spa days etc for your wellbeing, but I can't help thinking that if you are well enough to go to a spa you are well enough for work. I fully expect to get shot down in flames though.

What the hell do you do at a spa and at work?! Three hours of warm bubbly water, a nice massage maybe, a delicious nutritious lunch, compared with hassle and stress for 8 to 10 hours and a sad salad at your des, assuming you have an office role. Not even remotely comparable.