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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think of you’re signed off sick you should stay at home?

223 replies

Poppins17 · 11/01/2023 07:32

I’ve been unwell since the beginning of December.

I’m currently on my second dose of antibiotics and have now got steroids.

Dr informed me to rest as much as possible but there was no discussion about time off work.

I work in a senior position in Local Government, and have 15 staff to manage as well as assets.

I met a friend last night (which was a mistake as when I got home I realised I didn’t have the energy to do that), and she said how unwell I looked, and how I needed to go back to the drs to get signed off work.

She mentioned doing a few things whilst off sick to help with my well-being (spa days, going to the coast etc).

It made me wonder something that I assume when people are off sick they stay at home and don’t engage in any ‘nice’ activities.. is this an old fashioned view now?

Just to stay I work in the same village as where I live so likely people would see me out and about.

YABU - You should engage in nice activities for your own well being

YANBU - You should stay at home

OP posts:
daybroke · 11/01/2023 08:32

I was signed off following surgery.

I absolutely was well enough to have a friend pick me up and take me to lunch. It definitely did me good. Being stuck in the house 24/7 on my own for 4 months was not good for my mental health.

Harrysmummy246 · 11/01/2023 08:37

I've been signed off, more than once. I went for walks, coffees etc as it helped with the MH issues.

Even if I was off sick now, there is a child and 2 dogs to sort out and a household and builders

Life doesn't stop just because we are sick.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 11/01/2023 08:40

Spa days and trips to the coast aren’t really appropriate when you’ve been signed off sick for a physical illness.

Far from it. In Germany Doctors actually prescribe a break at one of their many Kur resorts to aid recovery.

OP: a short walk in the park or along the coast would be totally acceptable to me as a manager. In fact I'd encourage it. Not sure how PPs think you are going to infect other people if you are in wide open spaces.
If you have the energy for a days shopping, a long hike, or a night out clubbing then I'd expect you to be back in work. (For a physics illness of the nature OP is talking about ) But taking some fresh air surely is important?

4thtimeunlucky · 11/01/2023 08:41

A friend was off work once when her DH was extremely unwell. I don't know if it was for stress or compassionate leave. Me and another friend suggested meeting for lunch/coffee on our days off but she was very mindful she didn't want to be seen out having fun. (Even though going for a coffee is not remotely the same as doing a stressful job and dealing with lots of enquiries, procedures, and potentially complaints)

Dishwashersaurous · 11/01/2023 08:41

I think there's a massive difference between gentle exercise to build up strength after an illness, and a spa day

Dontsayyouloveme · 11/01/2023 08:41

Totally depends on why you’re signed off. I was signed off for two months following surgery. After four weeks I could drive and would happily have gone on a spa day, had the surgeon agreed, as I was told to rest and take it easy!

BarrelOfOtters · 11/01/2023 08:43

I think convalescence has been forgotten about, taking time to actually get better after something has kicked the shit out of you. Otherwise it or something else comes back and gets you. And fresh air etc is all good for that. Better than hiding on the sofa at home with homes under the hammer when you are well enough to go out but not ready to be back at work.

we are clear on this at work, take time to get well, or come back short hours…but it’s a small team and we could manage an obvious time waster.

RudolphTheGreat · 11/01/2023 08:45

I think it depends on what you are ill with. Something you can spread around stay home. If going out makes you too tired then you need to stay home and rest.

Anxiety, depression etc it probably helps to get out. Recovering from a long illness and not well enough for a full days work but can manage short outings fine.

It's a 'how long is a piece of string question' really though, entirely dependent on the individual situation.

AssumingDirectControl · 11/01/2023 08:46

ShippingNews · 11/01/2023 07:35

I'm with you, really. If you are signed off sick, you are not well enough for "nice" activities. I know that people now say that you should be able to go for spa days etc for your wellbeing, but I can't help thinking that if you are well enough to go to a spa you are well enough for work. I fully expect to get shot down in flames though.

What on Earth kind of job do you do that is no more taxing than a day at the spa, because I want to apply for it.

Marblessolveeverything · 11/01/2023 08:47

I think it depends as you need to rest until you feel up to the activities which I would probably do a walk by the sea etc just before I went back to blow away the cobwebs and build up energy.

Work is best attempted when are as well as possible to prevent a relapse. I made the mistake of going back too soon after surgery and while my head was ready it took my body a few weeks more. I really would benefited from a more gradual return.

PuppyMonkey · 11/01/2023 08:48

I think a spa day might be slightly taking the piss but if I bumped into you at my local swimming pool I wouldn’t question it one bit. Might be just me but doing a day out like a spa seems a bit off!

HRTQueen · 11/01/2023 08:50

I think anything that helps with recovery

I’m off sick at the moment and have been going out for short walks and had lunch in a cafe, really enjoyed this. Being shut in at home makes me feel very low in mood and so does being out of routine so I need to try and keep a routine of sown sort

if you out and about all day every day then yes I would think maybe it’s time to go back but you are not

WildFlowerBees · 11/01/2023 08:50

Even in Enid Bylton's books the Drs recommended fresh air and seaside. YABU.

Turtledoveholly · 11/01/2023 08:50

I’m old fashioned I think - if you are off sick chances are someone else is struggling having to cover your work so to be off on spa days or day out is a bit much .. a walk or a coffee is something different and doesn’t need much energy

Leftbutcameback · 11/01/2023 08:52

in order to be well enough to go back to work (even as as a phased return) you need to start building up a bit of activity, otherwise your body will really struggle. Gentle short walks, a short sit in a coffee shop, a drive to the countryside (as passenger) etc once you feel well enough will help.

I’ve had lots of chest infections in the past and it’s a delicate balancing act in order to not take it too quickly. But my experience is that if you just sit at home you might be burnt out too quickly when you go back. Good luck with it all.

SwordBilledHummingbird · 11/01/2023 08:52

ShippingNews · 11/01/2023 07:35

I'm with you, really. If you are signed off sick, you are not well enough for "nice" activities. I know that people now say that you should be able to go for spa days etc for your wellbeing, but I can't help thinking that if you are well enough to go to a spa you are well enough for work. I fully expect to get shot down in flames though.

If having a spa day was as hard as going to work no-one would want spa days...

Mardyface · 11/01/2023 08:57

This is not a moral question it's an operational one.

Maybe there is a moral imperative to turn up for work rather than intentionally skiving off (I mean, maybe) but taking time off to repair your body or mind is not doing this. If work is not going to discipline or sack you for having a walk when you are off sick then why wouldn't you do it? What would stop you? It is literally no one else's business.

A spa day could actually sort your sinus infection right out so you are being ridiculous about that anyway.

You get one life and one body and you shouldn't sacrifice it to your work organisation who would make you redundant if it suited them at the drop of a hat. You are contractually obligated to them but not morally!

Happyher · 11/01/2023 09:00

Being outside in the fresh air is good for your health so you don’t have to stay cooped up inside if you feel like getting out. I wouldn’t recommend going out to the pub and getting legless but just doing normal things you feel up to is fine and should help your recovery

silverbubbles · 11/01/2023 09:03

If you are signed off sick i don't think its appropriate to be going to spa days and jollies to the coast.
What would you say if one of you staff was off sick for a few days and you saw them at a spa enjoying a jacuzzi followed by a massage and the next day strolling along the beach licking an icecream?!

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 11/01/2023 09:04

Turtledoveholly · 11/01/2023 08:50

I’m old fashioned I think - if you are off sick chances are someone else is struggling having to cover your work so to be off on spa days or day out is a bit much .. a walk or a coffee is something different and doesn’t need much energy

Doctors used to prescribe full on breaks at spas and country/seaside locations to help people recover. They still do this in some countries - a PP mentioned Germany upthread.

It's well-known that a nice relaxing day out can be hugely beneficial to recovery for many people.

IMO it's a real shame that people have lost sight of that. So much competitive misery and martyrdom these days.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 11/01/2023 09:05

silverbubbles · 11/01/2023 09:03

If you are signed off sick i don't think its appropriate to be going to spa days and jollies to the coast.
What would you say if one of you staff was off sick for a few days and you saw them at a spa enjoying a jacuzzi followed by a massage and the next day strolling along the beach licking an icecream?!

Depends what they were signed off for.

I was signed off with stress for four months a few years ago and my manager highly recommended I did things like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mylittlesandwich · 11/01/2023 09:05

If you feel able then getting out can absolutely be a good thing. I'm rarely off sick but I had a mental health crisis early last year, sitting in the house would definitely have made it worse so when I felt able me and DDog got out for some walks. I'm very sure it got me back to work more quickly.

Justellingthetruth · 11/01/2023 09:08

@Poppins17

if not a physical injury or mental health issue
then if well enough for day out you are well enough to work. Even if on the phone and or laptop from home.

Balloonsandroses · 11/01/2023 09:11

Currently off sick with depression.
went for a walk along the seafront yesterday (we live by the coast). With one of the CPNs from the crisis team who thought it was a good idea in terms of recovery (hadn’t managed to leave the house for a fortnight before that). I reckon that’s ok

Greenfairydust · 11/01/2023 09:11

A bit concerning that you are managing so many staff members yet don't have basic understanding of sickness leave/policy/management.

If you are off sick it necessarily means you are housebound 24 hours a day.

I had a major operation a few years ago and part of my recovery involved being advised by doctors to start walking, small distances at the beginning, then in my local street, then in the park and so on.

People with mental health issues might not be fit to work but will benefit from physical activity (walk in the park, swim, whatever) and from engaging with other people.

If you have a contagious illness then of course you are stuck at home.

Also if someone lives alone they might also have no option, although unwell, to go out now and then to pick up essentials.

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