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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think of you’re signed off sick you should stay at home?

223 replies

Poppins17 · 11/01/2023 07:32

I’ve been unwell since the beginning of December.

I’m currently on my second dose of antibiotics and have now got steroids.

Dr informed me to rest as much as possible but there was no discussion about time off work.

I work in a senior position in Local Government, and have 15 staff to manage as well as assets.

I met a friend last night (which was a mistake as when I got home I realised I didn’t have the energy to do that), and she said how unwell I looked, and how I needed to go back to the drs to get signed off work.

She mentioned doing a few things whilst off sick to help with my well-being (spa days, going to the coast etc).

It made me wonder something that I assume when people are off sick they stay at home and don’t engage in any ‘nice’ activities.. is this an old fashioned view now?

Just to stay I work in the same village as where I live so likely people would see me out and about.

YABU - You should engage in nice activities for your own well being

YANBU - You should stay at home

OP posts:
Twiglets1 · 11/01/2023 08:08

I secretly agree with you that if you’re too sick to work it would be embarrassing to be seen out and about in the community beyond doing essential things. But I wouldn’t admit to having this view because I know it’s unfashionable. The accepted wisdom now is that there is no problem with people off work on long term sick leave going to the spa, going to the beach, going on holidays abroad.

Grumpybutfunny · 11/01/2023 08:08

MelchiorsMistress · 11/01/2023 08:01

Spa days and trips to the coast aren’t really appropriate when you’ve been signed off sick for a physical illness. It might be more acceptable if it were part of recovery from a mental illness, but that’s not what you have.

Why not? A medical professional has agreed you are not fit to be at work regardless of the reason. If you are well enough OP a spa day or walk might actually help with the sinusitis, going out clubbing maybe not.

It also the we don't want you at work for 48hrs post vomiting that's fine I'll stay away but if I've got something booked on an evening say I'm not missing it just because you don't want to see me.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 11/01/2023 08:10

A walk can help a chest infection. When I was signed off after an accident I went out for short trips for coffee etc. Made me exhausted but I had to build my stamina so I was then well enough to return to work. Maybe go back to the dr and get signed off for a couple of weeks. Spend the first week resting with hot drinks, fluffy clothes and Netflix then the second week building up your strength with some walking and short trips out.

BogRollBOGOF · 11/01/2023 08:10

MelchiorsMistress · 11/01/2023 08:01

Spa days and trips to the coast aren’t really appropriate when you’ve been signed off sick for a physical illness. It might be more acceptable if it were part of recovery from a mental illness, but that’s not what you have.

Sanitoria often were located by the sea or in countryside for the fresh air to aid recovery from respiritory illness.

Outdoor air can be a lot more comfortable for the respiritory system than the dry, heated air indoors.

Gentle walking around is good recovery for a multitude of ailments.

Generally being active within the comfort zone of your ailment leads to better recovery than being totally sedentary in bed.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 11/01/2023 08:11

Spa day is inappropriate tbh for a chest infection/sinusitis. I would be raising an eyebrow at that.

Going for a little walk in the fresh air on the coast or woods to try and help your chest/face not so much.

MaverickGooseGoose · 11/01/2023 08:12

Depends what you're off sick with. If you've got something you could pass on a spa day really isn't appropriate. A walk for some fresh air if you're up to it, fine.

If your off for a metal health reason then you don't need to stay at home.

daybroke · 11/01/2023 08:14

Totally depends on the illness n

weebarra · 11/01/2023 08:17

Depends. I was off work for cancer treatment. I wasn't well enough to work but I could do other things.
Something like you have, nice walks and coffee with friends should help you build yourself back up.

SeenAndNot · 11/01/2023 08:19

Spa day is taking the mick IMO. Gentle walks in the fresh air are likely to aid your recovery whatever the reason being signed off - especially post viral fatigue. Ditto fresh sea air but only if it’s local or you’ve got someone to drive.

I know people who’ve lost their jobs because they went on jollies whilst on the sick. You need to be careful not to be seen to be milking it imo.

Zippedydoo123 · 11/01/2023 08:19

I would not visit the beach in January. Crazy.

Supplements vitamins chicken soup plenty of rest.

Chwo · 11/01/2023 08:19

Depends on the illness and what will make you feel better, there's been times when I've been signed off where just staying in the house all day would have made me feel a lot worse.

Wibbly1008 · 11/01/2023 08:20

I love it when friends recommend going to the coast or a spa day out…what they don’t inform you of is the traffic, congestion and two hour nightmare of getting there and then attempting to park. Stay home OP, watch Netflix and binge watch everything while eating ice cream far more relaxing for your well-being

Lifelessordinary1 · 11/01/2023 08:20

I was off work for 6 months when i had cancer in my eyes and the final couple were because my eyesight was not back to normal and i could not drive or use a screen all day but i could definitely go out and about. I needed to gradually build up the length of time i could do things before i was ready to go back.

Parentandteacher · 11/01/2023 08:20

I think it’s a balance. Posting photos all over the internet of you having a holiday is unwise regardless of how much it helps your health. However a trip to the coast to sleep, read and rest (which you don’t advertise) all over the place is potentially a great way to recover.

SilliusSoddus · 11/01/2023 08:20

As others have said: it depends on what you are ill with. Plus, I think it also is influenced by what you do for a living.

For exmaple, a family member had surgery earlier this year but her job is to do 13 hour shifts caring for non-verbal, autistic adults. This requires a degree of fitness and robustness (some can hit out, for example).

To get fit enough for work she could not just sit around the house. She needed to start getting out and building up stamina and fitness - doing things like a few hours on the allotment, or going for longer walks.

If I'd had the same surgery, I may have gone bck to work quicker with far fewer of those activities, because my job is desk based.

liveforsummer · 11/01/2023 08:20

Well if you're non contagious and the activity will help your recovery I've no idea why you wouldn't/shouldn't do it. Obviously it would be unwise if it made you worse/prolonged recovery

fancyfrogs · 11/01/2023 08:21

Agreed with others, depends what you're off with. I don't think I'd go on a spa day if off sick but a walk if I felt up to it I don't think is bad at all, as long as physically able and may be beneficial for physical and mental well-being/recovery. Same with a trip to the coast - I would probably go for a walk there as I live nearby, but not if it was a full on day trip out.

I know someone who was off sick with a knee injury - GP advised rest and heat would help. He interpreted this in his own way and booked a 2 week holiday to Menorca. Needless to say his work weren't too amused and had a lot of questions though he stayed adamant it was in keeping with GP advice Grin

SilliusSoddus · 11/01/2023 08:21

I would not visit the beach in January.

You're mad! Holkham beach on a bleak January day, followed by dinner in the pub, is one of my best treats! Grin

Magenta82 · 11/01/2023 08:24

SilliusSoddus · 11/01/2023 08:21

I would not visit the beach in January.

You're mad! Holkham beach on a bleak January day, followed by dinner in the pub, is one of my best treats! Grin

It really is beautiful. My parents moved up that way a few years back. Think I'm going to have to schedule another visit.

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/01/2023 08:25

notacooldad · 11/01/2023 07:34

Depends what you are ill with .🤷‍♀️

This.

If you have a broken limb and can be driven or pushed in a wheelchair - get out and get some fresh air or go out for a meal.

If you are off with a mental health problem/stress get out and do something (my GP advised me to do this). Staying huddled in bed crying will do you (i.e. me) no good.

If you are infectious stay at home and keep away from people.

If you are recovering from serious illness or operation it's a good idea to get a suitable amount of exercise and prepare gradually for return to work. (Me after a hysterectomy)

hoppityscotch · 11/01/2023 08:26

If you're off for months you can't seriously think someone has to stay inside for that long?

CaptainMyCaptain · 11/01/2023 08:27

Wibbly1008 · 11/01/2023 08:20

I love it when friends recommend going to the coast or a spa day out…what they don’t inform you of is the traffic, congestion and two hour nightmare of getting there and then attempting to park. Stay home OP, watch Netflix and binge watch everything while eating ice cream far more relaxing for your well-being

That depends on where you live, the time of year and where you are going.

Staying in all day watching TV and eating ice cream would make me feel worse unless I was very ill.

MrsPnut · 11/01/2023 08:30

I had 16 months off for treatment of 2 cancers.
I went out and about when I could including into the office.
I went on holiday just before I returned and there is no way I could have spent all that time in the house.

GP's do not sign people off for no reason, and you know your body best. You might be able to walk to a coffee shop and meet a friend but then need the rest of the day in bed to recover but that meeting may have really lifted your spirits.

Yutes · 11/01/2023 08:31

Sometimes when you are unwell, you need a change of scenery and to see other people. I think, as long as it’s not throwing it onto social media or colleagues faces, there’s no reason why you can’t do some nice things.
As also mentioned by PP sometimes you need to see what you can manage strength and resilience wise before you go back to work.

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/01/2023 08:32

It depends entirely on what is wrong with you.