To be upset that another Mumsnetter has guessed who I am and been gossiping about me at school to the parents and teachers about what she read on a tread I started

[summersun06]

Some of you might now my story all ready I lost one of my twin Daughters in August aged 11 months, and I have poured my heart out on MN. A friend of mine works at the school (I used to work there to) and she told me that one of the Class room assistant came up to her the other day and said "Hows * " and my friend said she went on to say that her daughter-in-law is a mumsnetter and she saw my thread and put two and two together and gathered it was me and the class room assistant went onto tell my friend how I poured my heart out on MN. The next day another Class room assistant came to her and said the same. I am so upset to think that they are all sitting reading my thoughts and gossiping about me, this women is a Mum at the school to, so who knows who she has told. What do I do? I like/liked this women and often chatted (small talk) to her. Do I confront her? but im not sure I am strong enough. Why are people so f*ked up? Any ideas?

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Thank you Chequers I am REALLY ANGRY about it

so sorry to hear this. Would it be worth having a chat with the head to let him/her know you are a bit concerned over what some of the staff might be saying?

I would approach her and tell her that you used mn to help you come to terms with your loss and that you value your privacy and could she respect it particularly in light of your recent tragedy.

I have got no advice im afraid but just wanted to say that you are not being unreasonable.

crikey moses GET A GRIP PEOPLE

I hope they read this and feel ashamed, summers. very sorry to hear this

I'm really sorry this has happened , I can understand how upsetting it is, even if people recognised you in RL they should still have respected your privacy.

sorry the get a grip was directed at the people who are reading on here and then gossiping in RL

shocking and shoddy

I would be gutted and mad as hell too, summersun

YANBU

i am very sorry that this has upset you - and it would me too.

perhaps they will see this and get the message?

i am very sorry for your loss

So sorry to hear about your daughter.
You can ask MN for all your previous threads to be deleted if you are not comfortable with the information still being accessible.

This is a public site though, so anyone can read what's on here - not necessarily for malicious reasons

I never really thought of that but this women is training at the school and if I went to the head she would be thrown off her course and I just couldn't do that

carmenere puts it well. another option would be to ask mumsnet to delete all your posts?

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I'm sorry too. It's not nice to know that other people are talking about you. Am also very sorry for the loss of your lovely litte daughter.

Is there any chance that they are genuinely concerned for you now that they know what you have been through?

I'm gobsmacked that anyone could be so lacking in discretion over such a tragic event.

that's so bonkers, summersun, frankly if they have read the threads about your terrible loss they must be HUGELY insensitive not to keep their mouths well shut about it.

Bad MN ettiqutte! I know one other MNetter in RL but would never tell her as I would not want to embarrass her niether do I gossip about things she posts.

I really feel for you - you need these peoples support not nasty whispering. The reat of us are here for you if you need the support

Thats awful summersun, really sorry to hear it.
So not in the spirit of Mumsnet.
Agree its worth asking her to respect your privacy and remind her that MN is supposed to be anonymous.

Bang out of order!

That is horrible for you. I understand that person who recognised you may have done so inadvertantly BUT to then disclose things you'd said or how you'd felt or frankly fucking anything about you to other's in rl is just unkind and thoughtless.

Shame on them and the others who perpetuated the gossiping.

I dont know what to say, except shame on her.... perhaps print this out and give it to her, im sure lots of people will have a lot to say about how it is inapropriate to do anything other than offer extra quiet support to someone who has suffered such a terrible loss.

Hope you and your family have found support on here and are able to grieve.

Thank you MN its a shame I feel so like this, I have found something that helps me. Sometimes just been one of the girls and talking about everyday life with you really help me feel normal, how dear this MN try to take that away from me. Although Im sure she wouldnt mean to hurt me but she should think about the conc of her actions

i would also be furious ! and im very sorry for your loss dont know about your story but im really sorry to hear something so sad x the gossip should be ashamed of herself anonimity s for a reason weather she guessed it was you or not if you wanted all to know who you were you woul have said she has been very thoughtless

whilst i feel for you, i also feel that this is an inherent danger of open forums.
she shouldnt have gossiped about you, but you cant stop people gossiping, which is why in rl we dont open our heart out to everyone.
i am so sad for you.