To be upset that another Mumsnetter has guessed who I am and been gossiping about me at school to the parents and teachers about what she read on a tread I started

[summersun06]

Some of you might now my story all ready I lost one of my twin Daughters in August aged 11 months, and I have poured my heart out on MN. A friend of mine works at the school (I used to work there to) and she told me that one of the Class room assistant came up to her the other day and said "Hows * " and my friend said she went on to say that her daughter-in-law is a mumsnetter and she saw my thread and put two and two together and gathered it was me and the class room assistant went onto tell my friend how I poured my heart out on MN. The next day another Class room assistant came to her and said the same. I am so upset to think that they are all sitting reading my thoughts and gossiping about me, this women is a Mum at the school to, so who knows who she has told. What do I do? I like/liked this women and often chatted (small talk) to her. Do I confront her? but im not sure I am strong enough. Why are people so f*ked up? Any ideas?

thats terrible, im horrified! what a bitch. i hope she reads this thread and is thoroughly ashamed!

Oh hell after all you've been through, you dont need this. Its horrible to think someone else is talking about you, you'd have thought given the nature of the posts they would be more sensitive!

Not sure on comfrontation, depends on her- might make it worse/ she may not understand why your so peed orf.

Maybe a namechange? or a while with no posts so they get bored and wonder off?

Maybe they'll read this and get the hint?

That is dreadful. Truly unforgivable. She is a crass pea-brain. I probably would have a word with her about it. It doesn't have to be confrontational - you can just gently say that you value your anonymity on here and that you're saddened that your privacy has been breached. She will hopefully then feel like the shameful twerp she is.

I hope she sees this thread.

Can I say firstly,I'm new so I haven't read any of your other posts and I am sorry to read about your dd. Why would someone read what is obviously a heartbroken mother's posts and trivialise it by gossiping at school? I can see and understand why you are so upset and angry. I personally would have to confront the woman, just to make sure she was human. Surely she must know you are upset enough without that? Why not ask her why she told people? Or speak to the people she told and tell them your side of it. They obviously know you lost your dd, so they must surely have some compassion and sympathy for you and understand why you feel the need to pour your heart out.
Let her know you are not pleased. ((((hugs))))

Can't believe someone would gossip like that, it's really out of order. I hope whoever it is reads this thread and has the decency to apologise to you and keep her mouth shut in future.

YANBU - I hope whoever it was reads this and thinks twice before being so thoughtless again

So sorry summersun - you shouldnt have to deal with this on top of everything else. How thoughtless of them.

Oh, and a message for said gossipmonger:

Oi! Gossip Gossipson! You are a fucking arsehole.

Soooo not MN etiquette. You should be ashamed of yourself, you nasty little creature.

That is terrible of them - anyone who recognises someone on mn should either immediately let the other person know or never ever say anything about anything written on mn (either to the mner or anyone else). Awful person .

and for you.
If you are up to it, talk to her.
Personally could not stir it up further. None of their damn business in the first place. Unless the said lady was more than a mere acquaintance, in which case I would not mince my words.

How awful. It is the inevitable consequence of internet postings. The only way round it is not to post enough so anyone could put two and two together as to who someone is.

Even if I did guess who someone was I would not tell others about it. It's just really bad form. You want to keep the two things separate.

god but people can be crap can't they?
so called "friend" phoned me last week, ostensibly to say how sorry she was that ds1 had not got into his first choice secondary school..... but really to tell me that her ds had scholsarship to same school. .
if you can bear it confront them with their HORRID behaviour.

Also perhaps you can just try to think it doesn't matter and I imagine anyone who had read about it will be sympathetic and probably won't mention to you they've read it so I would just carry on as normal unless they're all now reading this thread of course.....

This is horrible. Hopefully she will read your post and feel suitably ashamed.

I would hope that anybody who knew me in rl and used mn would understand what we all get from being here and would have enough good form just to keep it to themselves if they saw something personal that I had posted.

I remember your first post, SS

You shouldn't have to deal with this tiny-brained idiot and her pathetic inability to keep her gob shut.

Do you know her MN name? I'd be very tempted to out her (and I know that's poor form).

And to the fool who thought this was gossip - what VVV said.

It would be nice to think she would apologise to me, maybe she will see this maybe she wont. Im not the type of person to go shouting about it but I do feel a bit sad that its come to this where I have to step away from MN when it really helps me. My little girls Dad left me 9 weeks after DD died and I dont have anyone to let off steam to or cry to, so this is why MN is so important to me.

I dont know who she is on MN, and I dont want to, its best that she keeps her MN name to her self I think

I remember your first post too, and how much it seemed to help just to have people to listen to you, it's time like that I think than God for mumsnet, then shit liek this happens.

Fucking insensitive prick. They should at the very ;east seek you out and apologise, it's not as if they wont see this thread if theyve been reading up on your messages.

So sorry that this has happened to you, so unfair and unnecessary.

Do you know her MN persona?

If so, tell us, out the sneaky so and so.......ok, maybe not but I'd be tempted.

I shouldnt let one bad Mumsnetter spoil it for me when there so many lovely Mumsnetters out there xxx thanks girlsxxxx

Me too JV, in fact I'd probably want to hunt her down and say something, she should be pleased that summersun is better than that.

I hope she does see how much its upset me it will maybe think twice the next time she gossips.

I have know idea who she is on MN