To be upset that another Mumsnetter has guessed who I am and been gossiping about me at school to the parents and teachers about what she read on a tread I started

[summersun06]

Some of you might now my story all ready I lost one of my twin Daughters in August aged 11 months, and I have poured my heart out on MN. A friend of mine works at the school (I used to work there to) and she told me that one of the Class room assistant came up to her the other day and said "Hows * " and my friend said she went on to say that her daughter-in-law is a mumsnetter and she saw my thread and put two and two together and gathered it was me and the class room assistant went onto tell my friend how I poured my heart out on MN. The next day another Class room assistant came to her and said the same. I am so upset to think that they are all sitting reading my thoughts and gossiping about me, this women is a Mum at the school to, so who knows who she has told. What do I do? I like/liked this women and often chatted (small talk) to her. Do I confront her? but im not sure I am strong enough. Why are people so f*ked up? Any ideas?

I can understand this would be upsetting. But there is no set of rules about posting on internet forums. I don't see there is anything to confront the woman about.

I am sorry to hear about your daughter.

A similar thing has happened to me summersun. A mumsnet member has cross-referenced stuff I've said in my mumsnet posts against another social networking site in order to unmask who I am in RL.

She has apologised but advised me to change my mumsnet nickname to get my anonymity back. She also said that she thought I had wanted to change my mumsnet nickname anyway? WTF?

It had taken me ages to find a nickname I liked and even if I did change it now, I will always be wary of using mumsnet the way I did (and really enjoyed) before.

We should be mature enough to respect each other.

Don't worry, hopefully she'll see this and stop, stupid cow. Yanbu, I'd be angry too.

You can say waht you want and its no ones job to go snooping aorund trying to guess or find out who you are.

Total lack of respect and very rude to discuss anyone behind their back anyway not to mention when someone is posting anon. on an internet site.

Hold your head high and confront her - I would be livid and tell her that.

Hopefully she'll realise what she's done and be big enough to apologise publicly and on the boards.

Thank you so much girls you have said lovely things, and thank to those who have left lovely messages on Laylas tribute site.

I know that there are no rules pointydog but its a respect thing, and I beleive not many people would stoop so low, but who knows .........

Can you write her a note explaining how you feel and that you would have spoken to her personally but that you're just not up to it?