To discourage friendship - gun in house

[Concernedrethis]

So more of a WWYD?

NC again. Possibly outing.

Moved to rural area two years ago. DS (Year 6) has struggled to find his feet. Been bullied horribly. Has three school friends. Some non school friends now.

Recently, one of his school friends (who has male older siblings) told me that his dad has a gun, has a gun licence, has let him shoot it and keeps it for something (I can’t remember what) ‘and protection’.

I have had a few interactions with the parents and they seem nice. They live in town in a terrace house, not a farm.

What would you do?

Previously my DS has been at the house once for a birthday party. They live close by so likely will walk together to and from school when they go up to ‘big school’.

I don’t know how the gun is kept. I don’t know the older siblings well.

Would I be unreasonable to not allow my DS to go to their house? WIBU to ask the mum about it?

I have never known anyone with a gun before. UK based.

@moonriverandme No, the police don't grant licences for protection. Handguns are forbidden for anyone outside the police & security services. Private protection companies are not allowed to carry guns.

Shot guns are held for vermin control, game shooting and clay pigeon. Rifles are held for hunting/culling but are far less common.

We have shotguns as we go clay pigeon shooting.

There are very strict rules, checks and police visits before you can legally own one. Locked cabinets etc.

If the family are sensible you will be fine. Not all families are sensible so you need to make a judgement.

We also have archery equipment which can just as easily kill but there are no rules about how that equipment is stored and no police checks.

Speak to the family to see if they do do things properly.

Most legal gun owners are very careful.

One other thing, for those who have mentioned mental health issues as a potential problem.

I've held a shotgun licence for more than 20 years and shoot for my county. Two years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. My GP, who has to sign off, every 5 years, that I am mental stable and therefore suitable to hold a weapon, reported my diagnosis to the county firearms officer who came round to spend some time with me and check I wasn't suicidal, before allowing me to keep my licence.

The rules and precautions in the UK really are very tight.

@MintJulia handguns aren’t forbidden but a lot of people think they are, quite a lot of people have them, I have 2 and most of the people I know have one (living rurally). Usually issued for humane dispatch for livestock/ follow up of deer or boar and also to attend RTCs with wildlife although you would have had to have done a humane dispatch course to be called out to roadside.

Granted the criteria is quite strict but it’s just the same as a rifle certificate, you just need a legitimate reason for owning one.

@Concernedrethis I’d hazard a guess here that kids have done what kids do and bigged up the reason for the dad having a gun (not sure if shotgun or firearm not sure if OP stated). Or even crop protection has been mentioned and only the word protection has been honed in on.

Everything I own locked in a secure area with alarms connected straight to the police. I’m quite a normal everyday person. Currently sat here nursing my 9 week old son and id be a bit baffled if parents discouraged a friendship with him in years to come. Id be more worried about DS going around a smokers house than a gun/firearms owners’ home. You would be surprised how many people actually hold a licence; it just so happens to be that you now know about this one.

My dad has guns and always did when we were growing up. Always locked in the gun cabinet and I’ve never had any idea where the key was kept. Still don’t now - he wouldn’t tell me if I asked. We never had any access at all to ;or even sight of) shotguns but did sometimes do shooting practice with air rifles (very well supervised). Have a conversation with them - there was no issue at all in my experience. If people are waving guns about in general there’s a serious problem and it needs picking up but it’s possible to have responsible guns as well.

We live in the US. When our DS was little, he had playdates and we always asked the parents quite politely if there were guns in their house and, if so, how carefully they were secured. The parents understood us asking, although, to be fair, only 1 or 2 over the years said they did have guns. We recently had some little kids at our house and were asked the question. We do not have any guns, so it was easy for us to answer honestly.

If you had this view where I live your child wouldn’t have any friends as most people I know have guns including us and our 11 year old has had his own gun for 2 years. However they are locked up and stored properly and our child has no idea where keys are and is only allowed to use it under extremely heavy supervision. Everyone with a gun is thoroughly checked by the firearm officer.

I grew up with guns in our homes and had both a suburban and rural upbringing. The laws surrounding ownership are extremely strict, and my dad was extremely cautious. He used to hide our Christmas gifts in the 'gun cupboard's' because nobody would dare go near them, nor could we access them and we weren't allowed to tell ANYONE he had them, especially our 'city' school friends where it was much more unusual, rather than the game keepers and farmers kids we kicked about with in the holidays.
I still find it weird seeing the big cases come in and out of home when dads been away at a shoot.
I would imagine it's a bit of exaggeration on the child's part, but if you are worried have a chat to the parents. Most people are pretty strict about them and won't do anything that would affect their licence and therefore their hobby, or means to protect their land from pests etc.

Not read all replies as too many and too tired…. Up feeding the baby
I have a gun in my house don’t live rurally but use it for shooting clays
strict laws of how it’s stored locked away and it’s use and also of me having a licence
hope my children don’t loose friends due to me having it although I don’t really publicise it’s there

thinking they are responsible owners 99% people are kids may have exaggerated “having a go” then you have nothing to worry about maybe have a chat with mum to put your mind at rest