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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About letting dc practice basketball on the drive 5x a week?

245 replies

GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 19:03

The neighbour across the road has complained. This neighbour doesn’t actually live here full time, her and her dh come down 10 days a month as it’s their second home. She says that dc practicing is ruining her time here and that last time she was down she considered booking into a hotel 🙄.

Ds is 10 and is mad keen on basketball. He has one training session after school per week and a training session on either a Saturday or a Sunday. He doesn’t practice on the driveway on those days so he’s only out there 5 days a week. It always immediately after school on weekdays and never before 10am or after about 5pm at the weekend. I never let him stay out there for more than an hour. The driveway is across our front garden which has a 6 foot wall around it and a solid gate so the ball never bounces out. It’s just the noise of him bouncing that drives her mad.

I spoke to her and told her that I’m not going to stop dc from practicing. If she’d been slightly more reasonable about it I offer have asked her if there were times that it particularly bothered her and got dc to work around that. Instead she came marching across the road, banging on the door and telling me how much she’d paid for her house and how my family was ruining the one place that she came to relax. I’m on really good terms with all my other neighbours and they all know dc well enough to feel comfortable to go out and tell him to pack it in if it’s annoying them for whatever reason.

AIBU not to reduce dc practicing when neighbours are down?

OP posts:
Original poster
GCSquirrel · 10/01/2023 06:59

Trez1510 · 10/01/2023 03:58

And would you have your son stop if any other neighbour approached you?

Still, it's nice to know you feel able to approach your (other) neighbours about 'minor annoyances' and expect your request to be met with civility and be responded to by them fulfilling your request.

Also, from this thread alone you must surely grasp that the noise generated by your son is not in the range of 'minor annoyance'.

Finally, I'd hazard a guess all those on this thread who are all chilled-out/totally zen about the repetitive sound of 900 thumps per hour x 6 hours per week, have never actually experienced that, week in, week out, month in, month out ....

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They’re only here 10 days a month!

OP posts:
Original poster
GCSquirrel · 10/01/2023 06:59

And it’s 5 hours a week, not 6

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 10/01/2023 07:28

Kokeshi123 · 10/01/2023 05:50

I wonder how kids felt in the mid 20th century when adults in cars took over the streets that they used to play in?

I bet they found that quite annoying too.

Now they're increasingly being told that they can't even play IN THEIR OWN DRIVES OR GARDENS, because of adults who won't book into hotels, or who want their homes to be offices and won't invest in noise-cancelling equipment.

She can't tell your son not to play, and it might actually do humanity a bit of good if she sold up, spent the money on hotels instead, and freed the property up for a family to move into.

And an hour a day is bloody nothing. If it was late night noise, she might have a point.

How old is she, by the way? A lot of retired second-home-owner people seem to resent kids for existing.

This is a very good point. I can well imagine children were a lot noisier in the past than today. I would probably be pissed off with the noise but an hour 5 days a week seems a reasonable compromise to me as I can imagine your ds wants to be doing it a lot more.

As for the tradesperson working on the house, I would have gone round and asked for the volume to be turned down. I get the annoyance but you can’t be upset for the owners for something they may not be aware of. A house beside me has been demolished and is in the process of being rebuilt. When a guy blast music incredibly loudly, I asked dh to go over and ask him to turn it down. I would have gone myself btw but I suffer from poor health and was not well enough to leave the house.

DdraigGoch · 10/01/2023 07:35

TheFlis12345 · 09/01/2023 19:22

Bouncing basketballs are the most intrusive noise, I find that headphones don’t even fully block the relentless thunking. We didn’t buy a house we loved as it was close to a park basketball hoop and 5 minutes of thunking while looking round the garden completely put us off, we would never have been able to relax there. Five hours a week would make me want to move!!

Just after school when virtually no one is home? The complainant is only there for ten days in the month anyway.

pictoosh · 10/01/2023 07:46

Trez1510 · 10/01/2023 05:37

It's about reasonableness. It's about consideration of others. The OP is only concerned with her son being allowed to create a noise nuisance for 5 hours per week. Her idea is that all and sundry should amend their lives to suit this nuisance without any insight beyond 'they're fit, they can walk, so they can fuck off out of their home for five hours per week to accommodate the noise nuisance my son creates" to me indicates she's unreasonable.

But she's not. Lots of people imagine they have this big right to silence to defend. They don't. There is no right to silence.

It's a perfectly reasonable one hour before tea. Not long, not early, not late. She wouldn't have a fucking leg to stand on making an official complaint.

pictoosh · 10/01/2023 07:50

The neighbouring woman that is. The neighbouring woman wouldn't have a leg to stand on making a complaint.

DdraigGoch · 10/01/2023 07:53

Hariborrrrr · 09/01/2023 20:30

🤣🤣 this made me laugh.
Only because I spent 3 years trying to compromise with my neighbours and even 10 minutes a day of shooting was just too much. We honestly tried our best to come to a compromise and nothing was good enough.
My son was threatened, my daughter was filmed.
We tried to abide by their rules (10 minutes between 16.30-17.30, still not good enough. We were reported for getting a net without planning permission (free standing net) she went round all the neighbours with a petition (other neighbours wouldn't sign and told us) we tried so hard to come to a compromise. It was bloody awful at the time

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God I'd have been speaking to a solicitor about harassment if I'd had them as neighbours.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 10/01/2023 07:55

@Trez1510 I’m not only concerned about my son being allowed to make a nuisance. I’m concerned about the other neighbours. As I said earlier I’ll check with them again this evening but I’m pretty confident it’s only this one woman and possibly her husband who it’s bothering. No one like second home owners round here, particularly this woman as she’s been an absolute cow to one of my other neighbours so I’m relatively confident they’ll want me to get him to practice more if they know it annoys her 😂. I won’t though, obviously.

OP posts:
echt · 10/01/2023 07:55

It's a perfectly reasonable one hour before tea. Not long, not early, not late. She wouldn't have a fucking leg to stand on making an official complaint

She might. The regularity of the noise could represent a nuisance.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 10/01/2023 07:57

@echt its reasonable noise at a reasonable time. The council definitely won’t care.

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 10/01/2023 07:57

Very few people would not be annoyed by the thumping on a basketball. Is it a shared driveway?

If she’s the only one who complains, can you DC avoid practice for those 10days a year? It’s not a big ask imo

I bet you’ve neighbours who just get on with it but are very annoyed by the thumping too but just can’t say

TheGuv1982 · 10/01/2023 07:58

Meh, it’s an irritating sound, but a) she sounds rude b) there’s nothing worse than someone transplanting themselves in an area and then trying to dictate how others live - so tell your lad to crack on

pictoosh · 10/01/2023 07:59

My friend is an environmental health officer for Edinburgh City Council. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who genuinely believe they have this imaginary right to silence. They'll moan about any trivial old shit (like this) and expect to get their own way. More noise complaints that come in are dismissed than upheld, by a long chalk.
This one would go in the 'self-important moaners' pile. Kids are allowed to practice their sport at home for an hour at a social time of day. If you're a person that can't cope with that, buy your house away from other people. Do not expect to dictate your neighbour's day.

pictoosh · 10/01/2023 08:01

Thankfullt environmental health have a more balanced view of noise than Mumsnet. 😉

pictoosh · 10/01/2023 08:10

echt · 10/01/2023 07:55

It's a perfectly reasonable one hour before tea. Not long, not early, not late. She wouldn't have a fucking leg to stand on making an official complaint

She might. The regularity of the noise could represent a nuisance.

Nope.

SorryForTheRant · 10/01/2023 08:14

YANBU at all, PPs comment about environmental health is spot on.

Unfortunately you've asked on Mumsnet where children should have zero screen time at all and be out getting exercise at any given opportunity, but said exercise must also be silent. Heaven forbid your child makes some ball noise or a toddler gets excited in their own garden...

Frabbits · 10/01/2023 08:44

echt · 10/01/2023 07:55

It's a perfectly reasonable one hour before tea. Not long, not early, not late. She wouldn't have a fucking leg to stand on making an official complaint

She might. The regularity of the noise could represent a nuisance.

😂

Don't be silly.

echt · 10/01/2023 09:09

Frabbits · 10/01/2023 08:44

😂

Don't be silly.

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I'm not being silly. Repetition of a noise can constitute a nuisance. It doesn't mean it will. That's for the council to determine.

SorryForTheRant · 10/01/2023 09:12

My council's website has a list of suggestions of what they will and won't investigate as a noise complaint. Children playing outside is on the list of things they will not investigate...

VitaminX · 10/01/2023 09:20

It's not very considerate to demand that your neighbour drastically reduces the amount of time they spend on their passion, changing their lives to suit your preferences. Basketball obviously means a lot to this boy. He's showing such dedication that it clearly goes beyond a casual enjoyment. If he wants to get really good at it, he needs to practise a lot and he only gets 2 times a week to do that outside his home.

It's not hours on end, it's not even every day, it's not late and it's not early. OP has said that hopefully once he gets to secondary school he'll have more opportunities to practise on proper courts but in the meantime I hope she continues to support him over a woman who was silly enough to seek peace and quiet on a residential street with lots of families.

Frabbits · 10/01/2023 09:30

echt · 10/01/2023 09:09

I'm not being silly. Repetition of a noise can constitute a nuisance. It doesn't mean it will. That's for the council to determine.

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Yeah, you really are. Please give your local council a ring, tell them you want to complain about a child playing during social hours on their own driveway and tell us what they say.

Should be good for a laugh.

PollyPrissypants · 10/01/2023 09:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

paintitallover · 10/01/2023 10:04

I don't think you're being unreasonable. Kids will make noise however they play. My dd had a basketball as a child. The neighbours never minded. I'm sure they would have mentioned it if they had.

echt · 10/01/2023 10:06

Frabbits · 10/01/2023 09:30

Yeah, you really are. Please give your local council a ring, tell them you want to complain about a child playing during social hours on their own driveway and tell us what they say.

Should be good for a laugh.

Show quote history

You've not RTFT have you? Had you done so, you would know exactly what my
view on the OP's problem is. Try page 8

Apart from that one opinion, I have also offered other possible interpretations local laws that the neighbour could use. These are facts, not opinions.

echt · 10/01/2023 10:10

GCSquirrel · 10/01/2023 07:57

@echt its reasonable noise at a reasonable time. The council definitely won’t care.

I wasn't talking about noise or time, but repetition/regularity of the noise. Believe me it can be an element in a complaint. Because your neighbour is not fully resident, this might well not apply.

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