About letting dc practice basketball on the drive 5x a week?

[GCSquirrel]

The neighbour across the road has complained. This neighbour doesn’t actually live here full time, her and her dh come down 10 days a month as it’s their second home. She says that dc practicing is ruining her time here and that last time she was down she considered booking into a hotel 🙄.

Ds is 10 and is mad keen on basketball. He has one training session after school per week and a training session on either a Saturday or a Sunday. He doesn’t practice on the driveway on those days so he’s only out there 5 days a week. It always immediately after school on weekdays and never before 10am or after about 5pm at the weekend. I never let him stay out there for more than an hour. The driveway is across our front garden which has a 6 foot wall around it and a solid gate so the ball never bounces out. It’s just the noise of him bouncing that drives her mad.

I spoke to her and told her that I’m not going to stop dc from practicing. If she’d been slightly more reasonable about it I offer have asked her if there were times that it particularly bothered her and got dc to work around that. Instead she came marching across the road, banging on the door and telling me how much she’d paid for her house and how my family was ruining the one place that she came to relax. I’m on really good terms with all my other neighbours and they all know dc well enough to feel comfortable to go out and tell him to pack it in if it’s annoying them for whatever reason.

AIBU not to reduce dc practicing when neighbours are down?

Yes, I have, but I've humoured you and gone back to your post on page 8.

And so what?

I can absolulely guarantee that you would get nowhere with a noise complaint in this situation.

Your other neighbours might not want to upset you or rock the boat by admitting it bugs them.
Surely if you cared about anyones feelings you'd stop trying to justify it and say that it doesn't bother you, what about everyone else?
Is this how we live now? Not caring one jot about anyone else but ourselves and what we want to do? I'm glad I'm not your neighbour to be honest

@Shoemadlady again, my neighbours aren’t here at the times he practices during the week. They only have to listen to it for an hour a week on either a Saturday or a Sunday during the day. I can guarantee they’d tell me if it was doing their heads in though. We’re all pretty close and forever in and out of each other’s houses.

It all sounds awful. She isn’t doing herself any favours by being a complainer, and you have all ganged up against her for owning a second home. No community spirit from anyone.

Can guarantee it’s pissing them all off but because of the closeness and familiarity, they feel they can’t say anything in case they rock the boat. As the impartial outsider this neighbour has had the guts to approach the issue.
i just hope no motorbike enthusiasts move into your close and decide to rev the bike for an hour each week night. I mean it’s their passion after all. Suck it up.

We’re all pretty close and forever in and out of each other’s houses.

And this is why they won't tell you.
I live somewhere where all the neighbours are close and I guarantee this is something that they'll moan about amongst themselves or just in their own houses but not to your face.

This is just called ‘living with neighbours’ isn’t it? Different noises annoy different people, for some it might be a barking dog, for others a crying baby, or DIY at the weekend, or loud music…

But most councils won’t be interested in the noises children make while they are playing, particularly if it’s on their own property, so that tells its own story as to what is objectively considered reasonable. For me it falls into the category of things-you-just-have-to-put-up-with.

@Moxysright one of the families own two Harley Davidsons and are forever revving them and tinkering about with them. They’re both paramedics so are working all different shifts so coming in all times of day and night. It doesn’t bother me, it occasionally makes me start in the night if it’s summer and my window is open but that’s it. They received an anonymous note about it complaining of the sound a few months after complainers first moved in 🙄.

@NoNewsIsGoodNews We’re hardly hanging up on her for not all creeping around like church mice because she’s told us to. We have a great community spirit in our little cul de sac. If people actually cared about communities they wouldn’t buy second homes.

@VioletaDelValle not everywhere is the same. I’m certainly comfortable enough asking neighbours for favours and I’m not convinced they would have asked me all the favours in return that they have throughout the years but be unable to broach the subject of a 10yo that they chat to most days playing basketball while they’re at work.

Yes, I lived with this op. Not only basketball but when that finished he would kick the bloody ball against the garage door until gone ten at night. They were private people but quite willing to intrude on everyone else's privacy and well being. In the end my DH stormed out and told him to just bloody stop. You can control the noise op, but others cannot and it can really impact. I think this particular neighbour has just lost it like DH did. I bet it pisses off your other neighbours too.

That said our elderly neighbour now is obsessed with power washing. Starts early, goes on all day Spring onwards. I mean how clean do you need your yard? I think she finds it cathartic and relaxing. The rest of us really don't.

I think one hour five days a week between 10am and 5pm is reasonable. Even if it annoyed me I wouldn't expect your Ds to stop.

If someone was practising basketball across the road for an hour at that time of day I wouldn't hear them or notice it. It's your neighbour's problem, not yours. It's not a loud or anti-social noise and it's not done for any ridiculous length of time.

Bloody people complaining about kids taking exercise and entertaining themselves and not even in the street but on their own drive! Doing something so positive with their lives.

‘We have a great community spirit in our little cul de sac.‘

what you see as community spirit, she may see as cliquey and unwelcoming.

I'm with the neighbour. The thud thud thud of a basketball is sooooo irritating. The balls are heavy, and the sound really carries. Especially on concrete.

Inclined to agree here!

they don’t even live there, they have no right to dictate how others live who DO live there all year round

I’m not sure what anyone is supposed to do about that. We’ve invited them to all the events we’ve done but her and her dh have never come. That’s a hell of a lot more welcoming than many others in the area have been to second home owners.

No more than an hour a day before 5pm is fine. Anyone who gets seriously angered by that would find lots of things to get angry about.

"Come home to a real fire - buy a cottage in Wales"

😂 we’re not quite at that stage yet although reading the local Facebook page I think quite a few people would be happy with that. I should just send my kid round with a basketball instead and they’d all be scuttling off home again to the peace and quiet of Birmingham.

One hour a day before 5pm doesn’t seem too terrible. Not as painful as neighbour learning violin/ clarinet /drums /etc.
If they complain again, be sympathetic and promise them you’ll limit it to one hour a day before 5pm.

You're a teacher, aren't you?

Bet you're a right ray of sunshine in the classroom.