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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About letting dc practice basketball on the drive 5x a week?

245 replies

GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 19:03

The neighbour across the road has complained. This neighbour doesn’t actually live here full time, her and her dh come down 10 days a month as it’s their second home. She says that dc practicing is ruining her time here and that last time she was down she considered booking into a hotel 🙄.

Ds is 10 and is mad keen on basketball. He has one training session after school per week and a training session on either a Saturday or a Sunday. He doesn’t practice on the driveway on those days so he’s only out there 5 days a week. It always immediately after school on weekdays and never before 10am or after about 5pm at the weekend. I never let him stay out there for more than an hour. The driveway is across our front garden which has a 6 foot wall around it and a solid gate so the ball never bounces out. It’s just the noise of him bouncing that drives her mad.

I spoke to her and told her that I’m not going to stop dc from practicing. If she’d been slightly more reasonable about it I offer have asked her if there were times that it particularly bothered her and got dc to work around that. Instead she came marching across the road, banging on the door and telling me how much she’d paid for her house and how my family was ruining the one place that she came to relax. I’m on really good terms with all my other neighbours and they all know dc well enough to feel comfortable to go out and tell him to pack it in if it’s annoying them for whatever reason.

AIBU not to reduce dc practicing when neighbours are down?

OP posts:
Loopyloooooo · 09/01/2023 20:47

Can't believe people are getting worked up about a kid playing with a ball in his own garden. Flipping heck, what sad world. Maybe y'all need a hobby or something to keep you busy 🤣🤣. Lifes too short to get so wound up over nowt, bloody hell.

Let him crack on OP he's not harming anyone. Good lad doing something worthwhile with his time outside.

MumGoneMild · 09/01/2023 20:48

nah yanbu. If they want silence they should of bought an isolated lodge. Its just noise. If it's that unbearable she can put on the radio or headphone, she xan ho out gor yhe hour.
Cars rev
lawn mowings
music
diy
kids playing
parties

its all part of living next to people. No one is owed silence snd their wishes font trump yours

OneCup · 09/01/2023 20:49

I wouldn't be impressed with the noise either. I'm with your neighbour.

MumGoneMild · 09/01/2023 20:49

nah yanbu. Why should he stop?
If they want silence they should of bought an isolated lodge. Its just noise. If it's that unbearable she can put on the radio or headphone, why cant she can go out to the park for the hour.

Cars rev
lawn mowing
music
diy
kids playing
parties

its all part of living next to people. No one is owed silence and their wishes don't trump yours

Loopyloooooo · 09/01/2023 20:50

Can't believe people are getting worked up about a kid playing with a ball in his own garden. Flipping heck, what sad world. Maybe y'all need a hobby or something to keep you busy 🤣🤣. Lifes too short to get so wound up over nowt, bloody hell.

Let him crack on OP he's not harming anyone. Good lad doing something worthwhile with his time outside.

DonnatellaLyman · 09/01/2023 20:50

If it’s only an hour a day I think they should suck it up, their enjoyment of the outside doesn’t trump his.

I used to live in the flat above kids who would kick a ball against the wall when I was trying to sleep on weekend nights. It was obviously mega annoying but they had every right to play in their own garden so I got some ear plugs.

Leaf blowers, on the other hand, can get in the sea.

MumGoneMild · 09/01/2023 20:51

nah yanbu. Why should he stop?

If they want silence they should
of bought an isolated lodge. Its just noise. If it's that unbearable she can put on the radio or headphone, why cant she can go out to the park for
the hour.

Cars rev

lawn mowing
music
diy
kids playing

parties

its all part of living next to people. No one is owed silence and
their wishes don't trump yours

pictoosh · 09/01/2023 20:53

On Mumsnet, anything but complete silence makes you anti-social and a terrible neighbour. There is the odd concession for children playing...but overall they are expected to be silent too. All of Mumsnet have silent children who play nicely.

In the actual world of the real people, we are allowed to pursue our interests within our own properties, within reason...and yes, daily. Your son isn't doing anything outlandish...it's a shame that your self-important and rude neighbour is sensitive to the noise of the ball bouncing but if it's an hour a day and before tea, I think she's just going to have to suck it up. She bought the house not the street.

DonnatellaLyman · 09/01/2023 20:54

If it’s only an hour a day I think they should suck it up, their enjoyment of the outside doesn’t trump his.

I used to live in the flat above kids who would kick a ball against the wall when I was trying to sleep on weekend nights. It was obviously mega annoying but they had every right to play in their own garden so I got some ear plugs.

Leaf blowers, on the other hand, can get in the sea.

IWineAndDontDine · 09/01/2023 20:54

Eudaimonia5 · 09/01/2023 19:18

Stop it, you're pissing people off. They might not all have complained yet but it doesn't mean they're not annoyed by it.

Once or twice a week is probably ok but 5 days a week is taking the piss.

Tough shit. A kid playing sports outside is fine. I love how these parents are seen as "entitled" but the ones crying about being annoyed at the noise aren't entitled. Hilarious. Not everyone has to cater to you.

PennyRa · 09/01/2023 20:55

Could you get him a foam ball or go down the park?

KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/01/2023 20:55

It's an annoying noise but then lots of things neighbours do are annoying. I'd let him carry on and keep it to an hour a day early afternoon.

PennyRa · 09/01/2023 20:56

Could you get him a foam ball or go down the park?

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 20:56

Hont1986 · 09/01/2023 20:09

YABU. Imposing five hours a week of an extremely annoying noise on your neighbours is unreasonable. It's not illegal. It is unreasonable.

"they all know my son well enough to tell him to go in if he’s being a nuisance"

He is being a nuisance, they just aren't willing to ruin the neighbour relationship by asking for him to stop being a nuisance because you will take umbrage at it. The neighbour relationship doesn't matter as much to the woman over the road because this is her second home, so she has come over and said what everyone else is thinking.

It wouldn’t ruin neighbourly relations, I’ve specifically told them they’re welcome to tell him to stop. Honestly, we’re all in and out of each others houses all the time, them asking dc to come inside would be a complete non issue for anyone other than these particular neighbours.

OP posts:
pictoosh · 09/01/2023 20:57

On Mumsnet, anything but complete silence makes you anti-social and a terrible neighbour. There is the odd concession for children playing...but overall they are expected to be silent too. All of Mumsnet have silent children who play nicely.

In the actual world of the real people, we are allowed to pursue our interests within our own properties, within reason...and yes, daily. Your son isn't doing anything outlandish...it's a shame that your self-important and rude neighbour is sensitive to the noise of the ball bouncing but if it's an hour a day and before tea, I think she's just going to have to suck it up. She bought the house not the street.

PennyRa · 09/01/2023 20:58

Could you get him a foam ball or go down the park?

Loopyloooooo · 09/01/2023 20:58

Can't believe people are getting worked up about a kid playing with a ball in his own garden. Flipping heck, what sad world. Maybe y'all need a hobby or something to keep you busy 🤣🤣. Lifes too short to get so wound up over nowt, bloody hell.

Let him crack on OP he's not harming anyone. Good lad doing something worthwhile with his time outside.

Loopyloooooo · 09/01/2023 20:58

Can't believe people are getting worked up about a kid playing with a ball in his own garden. Flipping heck, what sad world. Maybe y'all need a hobby or something to keep you busy 🤣🤣. Lifes too short to get so wound up over nowt, bloody hell.

Let him crack on OP he's not harming anyone. Good lad doing something worthwhile with his time outside.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:02

TooTrusting · 09/01/2023 20:14

OP : AIBU?
A significant number of PPs : yes
OP : well I don't agree.
Why ask if you didn't want to hear or consider the YABUs?

I’m not disagreeing whether I’m reasonable or not. I’m sure lots of people do think I’m unreasonable and one of my neighbours does too. I’m just trying to find a way to sort it that doesn’t stop my son from practicing something he loves and needs to regularly practice to get better at.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/01/2023 21:04

At once bounce every four seconds, she's hearing 15 a minute, so 900 slightly off time bounces every day. An irritating noise nearly a thousand times in an hour. About the same frequency as a dripping tap, just far, far louder.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:04

PennyRa · 09/01/2023 20:55

Could you get him a foam ball or go down the park?

Again, there’s no park that I could get him to after school. I could take him to a car park about a 15 minute drive away at weekends though and take the hoop in the van. A foam ball wouldn’t work.

OP posts:
PennyRa · 09/01/2023 21:06

Uhh is this thread broken for anyone else

bloodyplanes · 09/01/2023 21:07

Ignore her op! Its an hour a day it's not all day every day! She needs to get a grip and realise that she needs to buy a detached house in the middle of nowhere if she can't cope with a minor noise for an hour a day!

TenoringBehind · 09/01/2023 21:07

I’m with your neighbour. the noise would drive me bananas.

EllieM27 · 09/01/2023 21:07

YABU because the repetitive thud of a basketball on pavement is one of the worst sounds on the planet.

Thankfully there are a lot of good options.
First, since he’s practicing after school anyway, can he stay 30 or 60 minutes at school and use the courts there? I’ve noticed that a LOT of kids in the US do that because of the noise issue if they play at home.

Failing that, can you get one of those metal ball return devices that attaches to your hoop? That way he can catch the ball when he’s practicing shooting instead of it bouncing everywhere. Then, if he wants to practice dribbling or whatever, he can take a walk while he does it and spread the annoying thump thump thumping throughout the neighborhood so it’s only a passing irritant instead of a constant one.

Five days a week is a lot, and if he’s running drills constantly then that is wildly unreasonable. That’s what his team practice is for.