Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About letting dc practice basketball on the drive 5x a week?

245 replies

GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 19:03

The neighbour across the road has complained. This neighbour doesn’t actually live here full time, her and her dh come down 10 days a month as it’s their second home. She says that dc practicing is ruining her time here and that last time she was down she considered booking into a hotel 🙄.

Ds is 10 and is mad keen on basketball. He has one training session after school per week and a training session on either a Saturday or a Sunday. He doesn’t practice on the driveway on those days so he’s only out there 5 days a week. It always immediately after school on weekdays and never before 10am or after about 5pm at the weekend. I never let him stay out there for more than an hour. The driveway is across our front garden which has a 6 foot wall around it and a solid gate so the ball never bounces out. It’s just the noise of him bouncing that drives her mad.

I spoke to her and told her that I’m not going to stop dc from practicing. If she’d been slightly more reasonable about it I offer have asked her if there were times that it particularly bothered her and got dc to work around that. Instead she came marching across the road, banging on the door and telling me how much she’d paid for her house and how my family was ruining the one place that she came to relax. I’m on really good terms with all my other neighbours and they all know dc well enough to feel comfortable to go out and tell him to pack it in if it’s annoying them for whatever reason.

AIBU not to reduce dc practicing when neighbours are down?

OP posts:
caringcarer · 09/01/2023 21:10

There is nothing more annoying than the constant rhythmic thump thump thump of a basket ball. I wonder how many thump noises it makes in 1 hour? Those rhythmic noises are a known form of torture, a bit like a tap with a rhythmic drip. Let child go to park and use hoop on grass. The reason other neighbors don't complain is they don't get home until 6 but child finishes at 5 so they don't really have to experience it do they? My son bounces a basket ball on grass and it dims the sound. He is only allowed 10 mins at a time though. You are being very unreasonable allowing and encouraging a child to be this annoying 5 days a week.

SpareHeirOverThere · 09/01/2023 21:10

You don't live in a holiday resort, so if neighbour wants peace and quiet 24/7, she has chosen the wrong area. Children playing ball games, for an hour a day, during regular working hours is perfectly fine. In fact, there should be more of it.

Let him crack on.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:11

@EllieM27 there aren’t any courts at his school unfortunately but even if there were he wouldn’t be allowed to stay as he doesn’t do after school club. He’s going to secondary in September and there are basketball hoops in the sports hall and also a team so hoping he’ll have more opportunities there.

OP posts:
Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:11

caringcarer · 09/01/2023 21:10

There is nothing more annoying than the constant rhythmic thump thump thump of a basket ball. I wonder how many thump noises it makes in 1 hour? Those rhythmic noises are a known form of torture, a bit like a tap with a rhythmic drip. Let child go to park and use hoop on grass. The reason other neighbors don't complain is they don't get home until 6 but child finishes at 5 so they don't really have to experience it do they? My son bounces a basket ball on grass and it dims the sound. He is only allowed 10 mins at a time though. You are being very unreasonable allowing and encouraging a child to be this annoying 5 days a week.

THERE ISN’T A PARK!! 😭😭

OP posts:
NancyJoan · 09/01/2023 21:11

An hour per day, or an hour at a time? How long is he out there on a Saturday/Sunday?

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:12

@NancyJoan never more than an hour in a single day

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 09/01/2023 21:13

My neighbour’s son used to drive us mad playing basketball all the time. Thankfully he’s grown out of it now. He just blows dope smoke out of his bedroom window now, which drifts into our bedroom if we leave the windows open. Even more annoying!

pictoosh · 09/01/2023 21:14

On Mumsnet, anything but complete silence makes you anti-social and a terrible neighbour. There is the odd concession for children playing...but overall they are expected to be silent too. All of Mumsnet have silent children who play nicely.

In the actual world of the real people, we are allowed to pursue our interests within our own properties, within reason...and yes, daily. Your son isn't doing anything outlandish...it's a shame that your self-important and rude neighbour is sensitive to the noise of the ball bouncing but if it's an hour a day and before tea, I think she's just going to have to suck it up. She bought the house not the street.

DonnatellaLyman · 09/01/2023 21:15

If it’s only an hour a day I think they should suck it up, their enjoyment of the outside doesn’t trump his.

I used to live in the flat above kids who would kick a ball against the wall when I was trying to sleep on weekend nights. It was obviously mega annoying but they had every right to play in their own garden so I got some ear plugs.

Leaf blowers, on the other hand, can get in the sea.

LizzieBet14 · 09/01/2023 21:19

This would tip me over the edg

Rewis · 09/01/2023 21:19

Basketball bouncing and trampolines bounce creeking are two extremely irritating sounds. But it's not unreasonable to play in your own driveway.

LizzieBet14 · 09/01/2023 21:20

This would tip me over the edge!! My son loves football but there's no way I'd allow him to kick a ball against a fence for an hour a night x 5 times a week. Your poor neighbours.

YetiTeri · 09/01/2023 21:35

GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:11

THERE ISN’T A PARK!! 😭😭

Show quote history

You know what you should do, you should make him go to the park for a few hours 😉

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/01/2023 21:37

I had a basketball hoop for my son but could not abide the noise. It's so bloody intrusive. I bought a foam ball because it's selfish to inflict it on other people. Fortunately son lost interest.

TheFormidableMrsC · 09/01/2023 21:42

Rewis · 09/01/2023 21:19

Basketball bouncing and trampolines bounce creeking are two extremely irritating sounds. But it's not unreasonable to play in your own driveway.

Totally agree with trampoline. We've got one. In the summer I try and limit use to when our next door neighbours are at work and not at all if they're WFH because despite being fairly new, it squeaks so badly. Horrible noise.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 21:47

YetiTeri · 09/01/2023 21:35

You know what you should do, you should make him go to the park for a few hours 😉

Show quote history

Actually now you mention it I should probably just let him go to the park

OP posts:
Frabbits · 09/01/2023 21:55

Tell them to jog on. Kids are allowed to play on their own property. If you demand complete silence from your neighbours then move to the country.

Acqua · 09/01/2023 21:57

Nocutenamesleft · 09/01/2023 19:53

This is my husband. Mad keen about basketball but won’t play outside our house because of our neighbours. So he goes to the park and plays. Perfect all round.

Agreed. We're bastkball mad too. Wouldn't dream of torturing our neigbours for 10 minutes, let alone an hour 5 x per week! The thump thump thump penetrates inside a house even with modern windows.

I can believe it would be real mental distress to endure that. Your poor neigbours. The others probably don't feel they can confront you about the noise. It's amazing what people don't tell you, but quietly seethe about.

If it's that important to him, find him more opportunites to play somewhere else.

👉🏀Can the school help?
Could you arrange with his school that he can use their facilities for 30 minutes? That should be plenty for daily shooting practice. You could read a book nearby so they don't need to supervise him.
He could also practice dribbling drills at lunch play. A few of them from his team could get special permission to do it.

There are ways to all live in harmony together and for your boy to play basketball. Wishing you all the best.

FOJN · 09/01/2023 22:02

I'm torn on this issue. I do think it's great that your son has an active outdoor hobby and that should be encouraged but last year one of my neighbours sons took to playing basket ball on the drive and after about ten minutes I was ready to scream, I'd rather listen to a pneumatic drill for a whole day. I didn't appreciate what a loud intrusive sound a bouncing ball makes.

You could post some ear plugs through the letter box although that has the potential to things but it sounds like your neighbour waited until they were pretty furious before they said anything so maybe you have nothing to lose.

Trez1510 · 09/01/2023 22:03

One of the best sounds for me is children playing outside. My neighbours, both sides, are forever apologising for the ruckus from their kids. I tell them, in all honesty, I love hearing them play and their chattering whilst they do so.

However, I would go over the edge with 900 repetitive thumps per hour. I don't actually think I'd be responsible for my actions if this was a daily occurence. It used to be bad enough listening to a boy from further up the road bouncing his football all the way home from football practice which took a few minutes, a couple of times per week. He's an adult now, but it's all I really think about when I see him!

PollyPrissypants · 09/01/2023 22:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 09/01/2023 22:07

The school don’t have a basketball hoop unfortunately. The school is also even more surrounded by houses than my house is. They have to put up with noise from 9-3.30 everyday, I think it would be a bit much to expect them to have an hour of dc basketballing on top of that. I’ll give the church hall a call though, they might be able to let him use that.

OP posts:
Frankensteinisamonster · 09/01/2023 22:07

I abhor people who behave like this.

oh it’s annoying you, well you didn’t ask me right, so fuck you. I will have it continue.

it’s the neighbour from hell. Why don’t you inform her of exactly how she’s to ask you before you acquiesce op? How polite and grovelling does she need to be before you decide to be reasonable?

and what are you treating your kid? That it’s ok to piss your neighbours off if you feel they didn’t ask quite nicely enough?

HotPenguin · 09/01/2023 22:12

Do not stop your son playing sport! How do these people cope with the sounds of airplanes, cars, lawnmowers ....

SwingandaPrayer · 09/01/2023 22:13

YANBU at all. It's not during unsociable hours and it's a kid playing outside - that's what they're supposed to do ffs! Jeez, parents whinge when their kids are the sofa and devices all day so when one gets up and does some sport everyone bloody moans. I'd ignore the neighbour and see where she can go with it. Seriously, people are getting more and more moany by the day. I love the sound of kids playing outside and wish more would do it.