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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

372 replies

Stackss · 09/01/2023 18:34

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

OP posts:
Ragruggers · 09/01/2023 20:49

Start looking at 6th form colleges,if your children are bright they will do well wherever they go.Remember that universities favour state educated pupils who show determination to succeed.I doubt that your DH will make much as a delivery driver.Will it really help? If you have a spare room there are overseas students who look for family rooms if you live in a large town or city.Good luck.

Santaswingman · 09/01/2023 20:49

Sell the house and move to another area and a smaller house? Maybe he could Deliveroo 3 times a week and you Deliveroo 3 nights a week to make it fair and equal? You both live in that big expensive house together and it’s both your children who are being privately educated. It’s quite fascinating how many middle class people are actually hiding behind a mountain of finance and debt. I’m (proudly) working class and have always lived by the notion that you only live within you means. You only buy what you can afford. If you want something you save for it (with the exception of mortgage of course, but you ensure your mortgage is one you can afford) I see an awful lot of middle class folks who need to keep up with the Jones's. They have a big house, fancy cars, expensive holidays, private education. Scratch below the surface and you find they’re financed and debted up to the eyeballs, they don’t actually own anything it’s all on never never, one false move and the whole lot comes crashing down.

pinata · 09/01/2023 20:50

One point to consider - What would happen if he were to be spotted by parents or kids from the school? Would this pose a problem/cause any embarrassment? Not saying it will, but needs thinking about

Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:50

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water

OP posts:
Santaswingman · 09/01/2023 20:51

Sell the house and move to another area and a smaller house? Maybe he could Deliveroo 3 times a week and you Deliveroo 3 nights a week to make it fair and equal? You both live in that big expensive house together and it’s both your children who are being privately educated. It’s quite fascinating how many middle class people are actually hiding behind a mountain of finance and debt. I’m (proudly) working class and have always lived by the notion that you only live within you means. You only buy what you can afford. If you want something you save for it (with the exception of mortgage of course, but you ensure your mortgage is one you can afford) I see an awful lot of middle class folks who need to keep up with the Jones's. They have a big house, fancy cars, expensive holidays, private education. Scratch below the surface and you find they’re financed and debted up to the eyeballs, they don’t actually own anything it’s all on never never, one false move and the whole lot comes crashing down.

pinata · 09/01/2023 20:51

One point to consider - What would happen if he were to be spotted by parents or kids from the school? Would this pose a problem/cause any embarrassment? Not saying it will, but needs thinking about

pinata · 09/01/2023 20:51

One point to consider - What would happen if he were to be spotted by parents or kids from the school? Would this pose a problem/cause any embarrassment? Not saying it will, but needs thinking about

RosesAndHellebores · 09/01/2023 20:52

Soo. Twins in Y11. £3k pcm then for another 6 months £18k. Surely you can remortgage that on a 20 year mortgage. From Septwmber they go to 6th form college. Straightforward convo with Head and they will help you.

Look at it as a saving of £72k over Y12 and 13.

If 6th form college isn't palatable, could you go on the game?

Santaswingman · 09/01/2023 20:52

Sell the house and move to another area and a smaller house? Maybe he could Deliveroo 3 times a week and you Deliveroo 3 nights a week to make it fair and equal? You both live in that big expensive house together and it’s both your children who are being privately educated. It’s quite fascinating how many middle class people are actually hiding behind a mountain of finance and debt. I’m (proudly) working class and have always lived by the notion that you only live within you means. You only buy what you can afford. If you want something you save for it (with the exception of mortgage of course, but you ensure your mortgage is one you can afford) I see an awful lot of middle class folks who need to keep up with the Jones's. They have a big house, fancy cars, expensive holidays, private education. Scratch below the surface and you find they’re financed and debted up to the eyeballs, they don’t actually own anything it’s all on never never, one false move and the whole lot comes crashing down.

RosesAndHellebores · 09/01/2023 20:53

Soo. Twins in Y11. £3k pcm then for another 6 months £18k. Surely you can remortgage that on a 20 year mortgage. From Septwmber they go to 6th form college. Straightforward convo with Head and they will help you.

Look at it as a saving of £72k over Y12 and 13.

If 6th form college isn't palatable, could you go on the game?

NoWordForFluffy · 09/01/2023 20:54

LuckeyBuoy · 09/01/2023 20:36

Twins. That's all I'm saying.

Always twins!

WisteriaLodge · 09/01/2023 20:55

abracady · 09/01/2023 18:42

And stop the private schooling for a start!

Sadly that might have to be it..my local private is £6000 per term per child, (YR5) that's a lot of bunce...

Moveoverdarlin · 09/01/2023 20:56

I think you sound a bit out of your depth. This is my worry, I’d love to send my children to an independent school, but I think it would put too much pressure on us. I don’t want to be at a school function and be telling lawyers and surgeons that my husband is donning a high-vis vest in the evenings and delivering burgers to the students in their halls of residence. There’s no option, you have to cut back.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/01/2023 20:56

What
Is
Your
Job?

cestlavielife · 09/01/2023 20:57

Extend your mortgage term
Sell expensive belongings
rent out a room or garage
Change to tiny car

Create10 · 09/01/2023 20:57

Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:34

@cansu

Tbh we were managing before the current cost of living situation and interest rate increase in particular.

DH's view is that if we can just ride it out until inflation and mortgage rates come down, we'll be able to afford private sixth form.

How old are the children? How long until sixth form?

Create10 · 09/01/2023 20:58

How old are the children?

Create10 · 09/01/2023 21:00

How old are the children?

cestlavielife · 09/01/2023 21:00

Extend your mortgage term

Sell expensive belongings

rent out a room or garage

Change to tiny car

Krakenes · 09/01/2023 21:01

Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:34

@cansu

Tbh we were managing before the current cost of living situation and interest rate increase in particular.

DH's view is that if we can just ride it out until inflation and mortgage rates come down, we'll be able to afford private sixth form.

Mortgage rates are unlikely to come down. They were unnaturally low. What do you do for a living OP, is there any way you can increase your hours etc?

Xmasbaby11 · 09/01/2023 21:01

I understand your frustration but I don't think that delivery job would generate much income and IMO would put a strain on your DH with working evenings. I hope you get further discussing with him some practical ideas.

Create10 · 09/01/2023 21:01

How old are the children?

cansu · 09/01/2023 21:02

I understand but I honestly think you are kidding yourselves.

I am also wondering why you are both so convinced that private school is so worth it.

Ultimately, if your kids are bright enough they will do well. They could attend another sixth form. Most young people do very well at a level in state sixth forms or colleges. If you want to support them more then you could offer some tutoring if they need it. If you are this close to not being able to afford it, it really isn't for you.

Krakenes · 09/01/2023 21:02

Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:34

@cansu

Tbh we were managing before the current cost of living situation and interest rate increase in particular.

DH's view is that if we can just ride it out until inflation and mortgage rates come down, we'll be able to afford private sixth form.

Mortgage rates are unlikely to come down. They were unnaturally low. What do you do for a living OP, is there any way you can increase your hours etc?

AreOttersJustWetCats · 09/01/2023 21:07

Why did you promise your kids the best part of a grand each in exchange for GCSE results if you're short on money? Fucking ridiculous.

Make a list of all the things you spend on, and rate them from most to least important. Then cut the least important (memberships, holidays, extra car etc.).