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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

372 replies

Stackss · 09/01/2023 18:34

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 21:08

@AreOttersJustWetCats

As I say, the grandparents are paying the GCSE bonuses.

OP posts:
Woopzies · 09/01/2023 21:08

"You sit down [Raquel], I'll make you a cup of tea.
Rodney, make the tea!"

If you know you know...

ReneBumsWombats · 09/01/2023 21:08

Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:34

@cansu

Tbh we were managing before the current cost of living situation and interest rate increase in particular.

DH's view is that if we can just ride it out until inflation and mortgage rates come down, we'll be able to afford private sixth form.

Yes, well, you can do anything if your strategy is "do it while it's impossible until it becomes possible again".

I can't see how this will bring in enough without killing the guy, but you didn't give a detailed breakdown. Good luck.

Create10 · 09/01/2023 21:09

Oops! It kept saying error!

ReneBumsWombats · 09/01/2023 21:11

Mumsnet spaced out briefly, I think.

Petrarkanian · 09/01/2023 21:12

I don't understand why they are getting paid for Gcse results. Surely the reward is the results.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 09/01/2023 21:16

CrazyLadie · 09/01/2023 20:11

If its a second job its even higher tax, if you work in one of the lower brackets I know that for a second job ya pay 30% not 20%

Show quote history

This is nonsense. Tax will depend on overall income, not how many jobs it is earned in. Making sure the tax code is correct is another story, but a second job will be taxed at your marginal rate (which is highly unlikely to be 20% given they are sending two kids to private school).

mrs55 · 09/01/2023 21:17

I’d sell up and buy a cheaper house if the school is most important to the pair of you, is the big house really worth having to work two jobs with even less time at home with you and the kids ? It’s so much pressure to have to stress about money , it’s just a house after all. If it were me I’d of dropped the private school but it’s definitely a discussion that needs to be had I can’t see mortgage rates dropping any time this year, surely you would want to be less stressed with a good income to cover your bills plus extra left over. One will have to give which one is up to yourselfs but him wanting to push more work to live up to a certain lifestyle when you are clearly going to struggle in the future is not the answer .

yoyo1234 · 09/01/2023 21:17
  1. approach school about bursaries I think your children sound like an asset to their school from other post (can't remember but would really think worth a try.
  2. cancel subscriptions etc if not essential.
  3. approach mortgage company about going to interest only.
  4. take in lodger (can earn £7500 a year tax free- look at rent a room scheme).
AreOttersJustWetCats · 09/01/2023 21:17

Stackss · 09/01/2023 21:08

@AreOttersJustWetCats

As I say, the grandparents are paying the GCSE bonuses.

So why aren't you honest with them and say you need the money to go towards fees more?

Butchyrestingface · 09/01/2023 21:24

Stompythedinosaur · 09/01/2023 20:16

This is beyond ridiculous as a suggestion.

You clearly didn't read her last burnt offering.

Algor1thm · 09/01/2023 21:29

On what planet do you think driving for Deliveroo a couple of hours a night on minimum wage is going to even scrape the surface? It might help you afford an extra takeaway a month or a few hours of heating, and that's about it.

Paying for private school while worrying about how to pay your mortgage or put food on the table is ridiculous. The obvious solution is to take up the completely free education on offer from the state, save yourself tens of thousands of pounds a year, and life very comfortably. Think of all the lovely things you can do with that money to benefit your children.

Algor1thm · 09/01/2023 21:32

Stackss · 09/01/2023 21:08

@AreOttersJustWetCats

As I say, the grandparents are paying the GCSE bonuses.

What are GCSE bonuses? Are you paying your children to get GCSEs (on top of paying for their private education)? If so I've really heard it all.

JammiDodgers · 09/01/2023 21:33

Santaswingman · 09/01/2023 20:49

Sell the house and move to another area and a smaller house? Maybe he could Deliveroo 3 times a week and you Deliveroo 3 nights a week to make it fair and equal? You both live in that big expensive house together and it’s both your children who are being privately educated. It’s quite fascinating how many middle class people are actually hiding behind a mountain of finance and debt. I’m (proudly) working class and have always lived by the notion that you only live within you means. You only buy what you can afford. If you want something you save for it (with the exception of mortgage of course, but you ensure your mortgage is one you can afford) I see an awful lot of middle class folks who need to keep up with the Jones's. They have a big house, fancy cars, expensive holidays, private education. Scratch below the surface and you find they’re financed and debted up to the eyeballs, they don’t actually own anything it’s all on never never, one false move and the whole lot comes crashing down.

Good post ☝️

Roundabout78 · 09/01/2023 21:33

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 09/01/2023 20:56

What
Is
Your
Job?

Something
very
middle
clarse
😆

AreOttersJustWetCats · 09/01/2023 21:34

Algor1thm · 09/01/2023 21:32

What are GCSE bonuses? Are you paying your children to get GCSEs (on top of paying for their private education)? If so I've really heard it all.

Show quote history

Apparently so. Although the previous thread was so far beyond ridiculous, I suspect the whole thing is fictitious. None of it rings true.

IDontCareMatthew · 09/01/2023 21:36

@Namechange828492

Theses little dudes! They come trundling down the street. They deliver for our co-op

IDontCareMatthew · 09/01/2023 21:37

These!!

To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?
EasterIssland · 09/01/2023 21:39

Algor1thm · 09/01/2023 21:32

What are GCSE bonuses? Are you paying your children to get GCSEs (on top of paying for their private education)? If so I've really heard it all.

Show quote history

Whoever gets best results on the gcses will get a bonus cash
so they can’t afford Gas and electricity and now the in laws will have to pay for the bonus and your husband will have to work on deliveroo. I’ve got a question .. what do you bring to this marriage? As it sounds mostly it’s your husband and his family

KarmaStar · 09/01/2023 21:39

What gives you the right to tell him to do this?
Why can you not ask,discuss or suggest ? This is so controlling.
As you run the finances cut back on shopping,fuel and holidays,if you both decide you can't manage them both work extra hours.
But don't assume that being in a relationship gives you any authority to demand,control of coerce your partner at any time.

BunchHarman · 09/01/2023 21:40

Oh OP, your priorities are so skewed.

MissTrip82 · 09/01/2023 21:40

Oh. So you weren’t managing before. You needed significant help from family to pay your bills.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 09/01/2023 21:42

Stop the private education. My brother won a scholarship to a fancy-arse private school. I went to the local comp and ended up earning more than him. It means NOTHING.

And get a job yourself.

Stop relying on your parents, then moaning that you can't afford it.

Ridiculous. Get out on your own bike.

Hawkins001 · 09/01/2023 21:46

This reads more like a advert for Deliveroo

Fluffyknickers · 09/01/2023 21:47

And you can’t do it because………..