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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

372 replies

Stackss · 09/01/2023 18:34

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

OP posts:
Aleaiactaest · 09/01/2023 20:17

Next election will be by January 2025. If it is in the final Labour manifesto they will have to do something along those lines or look stupid, surely.

CrazyLadie · 09/01/2023 20:19

BritAbroad101 · 09/01/2023 19:35

Take your kids out of private school - not needed for smart kids

Its exactly smart kids that need private school as they get left behind I'm state school and get little to no challenge and I say this from experience

Maireas · 09/01/2023 20:21

redskydelight · 09/01/2023 20:07

Wouldn't it make more sense for the grandparents to contribute this money towards the school fees, so DH doesn't have to get a second job?

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That's my thought. The bonuses sound significant.

LosAmigos · 09/01/2023 20:23

A middle-class job? Ha ha ha ha ha. What is one of those?

Krakenes · 09/01/2023 20:27

Trez1510 · 09/01/2023 20:15

I suspect OP will be too busy patrolling the hall, ruler in hand, overseeing 'the revision' to be able to contribute further to the household (and Bank of Mum &Dad) income .....

Poor Mr Stackss, out in all weathers, with his wee Deliveroo sign on his bike, being spotted by the twins' classmates/peers ....

That's an entire new thread in the making right there, is it not? 😉

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Indeed! Poor guy, I’m assuming he’s a higher rate tax payer, I can’t imagine being told by my husband I need to get on my bike whilst being paid pittance - it’s not a lot of money even at regular tax rates!!

Stompythedinosaur · 09/01/2023 20:28

CrazyLadie · 09/01/2023 20:19

Its exactly smart kids that need private school as they get left behind I'm state school and get little to no challenge and I say this from experience

Show quote history

No one needs private education. It is a luxury for those who can afford it.

Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:29

@redskydelight

The grandparents are not crazily wealthy but do want to help the DC as much as they can in a strategic way. They pay a quarter of the school fees.

OP posts:
cansu · 09/01/2023 20:31

It is absolutely ridiculous for your dh to be going out either before or after work so as to avoid private school fees. It would make much better sense to put them into state school. If you can't afford private school which you can't, why are you continuing to put yourself under such pressure?

Maireas · 09/01/2023 20:31

So why don't they pay a bit more towards the fees instead of the bonuses?.

GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 09/01/2023 20:32

@Stackss - do the grandparents know the state of your finances?

What do your kids think? If they’re Y11 they’re old enough to be part of the discussion

Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:34

@cansu

Tbh we were managing before the current cost of living situation and interest rate increase in particular.

DH's view is that if we can just ride it out until inflation and mortgage rates come down, we'll be able to afford private sixth form.

OP posts:
LuckeyBuoy · 09/01/2023 20:36

Twins. That's all I'm saying.

Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:36

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:39

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:40

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water

OP posts:
cansu · 09/01/2023 20:40

I understand but I honestly think you are kidding yourselves.
I am also wondering why you are both so convinced that private school is so worth it.
Ultimately, if your kids are bright enough they will do well. They could attend another sixth form. Most young people do very well at a level in state sixth forms or colleges. If you want to support them more then you could offer some tutoring if they need it. If you are this close to not being able to afford it, it really isn't for you.

xyhere · 09/01/2023 20:41

@Stackss - well, I'm guessing that if you're the financially prudent one, you'll already have worked out how many hours he'll need to work on the bike in order to make up the shortfall. Factoring in the 45% that'll go to the Inland Revenue, of course, and the fact that Deliveroo pays £7-12/hr (so he'll see £3.85-6.60/hr).

Out of curiosity...how many hours would that be?

xyhere · 09/01/2023 20:41

@Stackss - well, I'm guessing that if you're the financially prudent one, you'll already have worked out how many hours he'll need to work on the bike in order to make up the shortfall. Factoring in the 45% that'll go to the Inland Revenue, of course, and the fact that Deliveroo pays £7-12/hr (so he'll see £3.85-6.60/hr).

Out of curiosity...how many hours would that be?

xyhere · 09/01/2023 20:43

@Stackss - well, I'm guessing that if you're the financially prudent one, you'll already have worked out how many hours he'll need to work on the bike in order to make up the shortfall. Factoring in the 45% that'll go to the Inland Revenue, of course, and the fact that Deliveroo pays £7-12/hr (so he'll see £3.85-6.60/hr).

Out of curiosity...how many hours would that be?

TheProblemIsMe · 09/01/2023 20:43

You can't afford the lifestyle you want. No amount of food deliveries in the evenings is going to get you ahead of your mortgage, private school and everything else.

To make savings, private school has to go.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 09/01/2023 20:44

You can speak to the school and see if they can agree a reduction. Some schools are willing, especially if there’s siblings.

cansu · 09/01/2023 20:46

I understand but I honestly think you are kidding yourselves.
I am also wondering why you are both so convinced that private school is so worth it.
Ultimately, if your kids are bright enough they will do well. They could attend another sixth form. Most young people do very well at a level in state sixth forms or colleges. If you want to support them more then you could offer some tutoring if they need it. If you are this close to not being able to afford it, it really isn't for you.

Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:47

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water

OP posts:
Original poster
Stackss · 09/01/2023 20:47

@Maireas

DH is going to see if they can increase their contribution to one third, which along with the Deliveroo shifts and efficiency savings elsewhere, may be just enough to keep us above water

OP posts:
cansu · 09/01/2023 20:47

I understand but I honestly think you are kidding yourselves.

I am also wondering why you are both so convinced that private school is so worth it.

Ultimately, if your kids are bright enough they will do well. They could attend another sixth form. Most young people do very well at a level in state sixth forms or colleges. If you want to support them more then you could offer some tutoring if they need it. If you are this close to not being able to afford it, it really isn't for you.