To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

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Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

Deluded op live within your means .

They may have been living within their means, but with the cost of living, things can change. I think I read private schooling fees have risen quite a lot recently.

Do Deliveroo riders make many thousands more than I realise?

No. No they do not.

Your previous post suggested you could manage until the autumn anyway.

I thought this thread was about what to do after that? I'm fairly sure absolutely no one thought that you should take your DC out of school in their GCSE year.
If the issue is just finding another term's fees (presumably this term's are already paid), then absolutely you should both go out and get money in by any way you can.

@redskydelight

We could afford to continue paying the school fees and the mortgage until autumn but at that point we would literally run out of money.

The package that we have put together of DH's Deliveroo shifts, and the assistance from the grandparents and Dsis should now avoid that.

Without knowing all the ins and outs of your bills, I think just by the fact that you have grandparents and aunties contributing to private schooling means your head isn't above water at the moment and it's probably time to take a serious hard look at things you can change or do without to ensure your long term financial sustainability. Lots of what ifs, what if they can't afford to help a few months down the line due to the same reasons your struggling- cost of living is affecting everyone. My parents help out when I have something massive (normally a car bill 🙄) but I pay them back and I'm absolutely mortified to have to ask. I couldn't imagine being fully reliant on them so my children could go to school.

Sooooo..... everyone I'll increase their financial involvement except you............nicely done......

Is the private worth the stress of your financial situation? Not looking for an answer but surely that is the key question as is there anything else in your finances that cost as much as the private schools? Suspect not.

I am personally anti private schools but maybe that is because I didn’t go to one and I’ve done perfectly well for myself.

Again, what would your financial contribution be? Your DH by the sounds of things will be pulling in 60+ hour weeks, which seems a bit of an unfair one sided burden.

Personally mortgage is what it is & kids school is important so they are the last things I would be cutting back on. Put everything on paper, work out where you can make cuts - without lowering quality/cover etc - & do the saving yourself.
If he just buries his head in the sand over finances I am assuming here that you do the budgeting so make a budget & stick to it. If that means giving each of you an allowance to live within, try it for a few months, then that is what needs to be done.
There are outs of ways to save money, even if it is just a few £ here & there so start with the basics like phone packages (giff gaff is £10 for 15GB & unlimited calls & texts for me & you also get free calls & texts to other giff gaff users), broadband, TV, any other subscriptions, gym memberships etc then look at food bill, car, personal & life insurance then look at pensions & savings.
Do you eat out/ eat takeaways/ buy lunch/coffee out instead of taking from home a lot if so you would be pleasantly surprised by how much you can save by doing this as a swap.
I never renew my car insurance with the same provider I always shop around in the 4 to 6 weeks before renewal. Over the last few years my insurance searching has saved me between £50 & £150 on what I was quoted for renewal PLUS I have got cash back for signing up for the new insurance online via Top Cash Back.
There are ways to save without having to move house or move the kids schools & all you can do is give it a try. Good luck

Lots of kids move schools for various reasons. If private school is no longer affordable then the kids will have to leave there and attend a free one. They will still get an education just in a different setting. Kids are generally sociable and will make new friends. With technology these days they can even stay in touch with the kids they know from school anyway. It's going to get to a point where they can't pay so will have to find a new school anyway. Rather than exhausting themselves taking on extra jobs why not just cut back on luxuries? Private schooling isn't an essential

So you have enough money to last you to the autumn but you are borrowing money from your sister and parents to stop you running out. Why not use your own money to keep the children in school for year 11 and then move to state 6th form. The saving on school fees can then replenish the cash that you have used this year and help you live within your means next year.

😂 😂

Assistance from grandparents and your sister? So you’re living off charity to fund your big house and private education for your kids? Are you not a bit embarrassed that you can’t afford this lifestyle you’ve both created for yourselves? At parents evening don’t you ever feel like you don’t actually belong there with all those wealthy people when you need to borrow money to pay those fees? Utter ludicrous that you’re trying to live a middle class lifestyle on a working class income.

I'd be telling you to get on yer bike.

Wow she’s splurging other people’s money all over the place. Wouldn’t surprise me if they’re in a load of debt with the bank. I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night knowing I can’t afford my mortgage and I’m being funded by family charity. Time to sell the big house, put the kids in normal schools, and come down a peg or two. Can you still call yourself middle class if you have less savings in the bank than people working minimum wage?

Hold on...
You can afford the fees until autumn and they're in year 11?
Just pay the remaining for this year, final payment will prob be around Easter time, no?
And then move to a decent state sixth form.
By autumn you won't need to worry about it... I really don't understand how this is a conundrum for you. Unless it's actually just about keeping up appearances. You can't live your life subsidised by in laws !

At parents evening don’t you ever feel like you don’t actually belong there with all those wealthy people when you need to borrow money to pay those fees?

Lovely.

Should families using bursaries or scholarships also feel suitably ashamed?

You have a right chip on your shoulder.

Deliveroo and the like are a good little stop-gap job, but it's not going to plug gaping holes in your budget.

My PIL’s insisted on private schools for DH and SIL at their own financial expense. Lots of debt in the end, they really couldn’t easily afford it like other parents and DH stood out like a sore thumb as a result. It was totally futile. DH has done well but nothing he couldn’t have done through state school, SIL is a total wreck and has done naff all with her life.

In short, private school is the first thing I would drop if you can’t afford to get by.

I’m one of those poor people types so don’t have a mortgage and the concept of private school is completely alien to me. But even I understand that if you stretch yourself financially when things are good, then you are going to be utterly buggered when things start going downhill, as they always do. You knew that you were stretching yourselves. You sound just as financially irresponsible as your DH. I mean this in the kindest way, but what did you think was going to happen? There’s always a recession over the next hill.

The morality of allowing your sister to pick up the financial shortfall for your poor planning is one thing, but I don’t think you’ve thought the Deliveroo job through either. If you’ve both got well paid jobs, you’re going to get clobbered by the tax man. Can you take on extra evenings and/or weekend work in a supermarket as well? If you’ve got a DC not far off their exams then they’re old enough to babysit while you’re both out working. Is there the potential to do overtime at your main job? Or any promotions going? You both got yourselves into this situation. You both need to work to get yourselves out of it, as well as economise in other areas.

If you say so. I’d rather that than a pile of debt and a lifestyle I think I’m entitled to but can’t afford, living off daddy in laws money 😉

I’ve just seen your other thread. You’re poncing money off rich relatives so you can carry on with your lifestyle but you’re talking about bribing your DC to revise for their exams?

The pair of you are financially irresponsible. Perhaps you should ensure your DC don’t follow your example by telling them who is paying for their school fees because you and DH didn’t want to cut your cloth, and that if they don’t work hard to pass their exams, there’ll be no point in sending them anywhere but the local comp to finish their education.

This thread is hilarious.

People keep asking the OP if she's not embarrassed to take her family's money. Perhaps not. Many families are happy to subsidise private education for nieces, nephews and grandchildren. Some even give allowances to adult children.

Others ask, what are YOU going to contribute. Well, maybe she's contributing what her family expects of her and her husband is happy to take on extra, while she continues to supervise the children's revision.

As for being embarrassed at parents' evening next to the wealthier families. What a load of shit! My daughter has a 50% scholarship, 50% bursary and I couldn't care less about what the other parents pay. As long as the teaching is not segregated, the rest is not my business.

This all sounds like a house of cards to me, but I'm guessing like many people struggling now, OP's family thought they'd be okay, until they were not. Hopefully with the help she's received and the well meaning advice given here, they'll get through this intact.