To tell DH to ride for Deliveroo in the evenings?

[Stackss]

Like everyone at the moment, we are struggling a bit with the cost of living. We aren't poor by any means (both in middle class jobs) but tbh we have overstretched ourselves wrt our mortgage and private school for 2 DC.

DH has always had his head in the sand when it comes to finances and assured me we could afford the mortgage and private school- and tbf we could prior to the current situation. DH is not willing to countenance any budget cuts such as looking at cheaper areas or state schools.

Frankly we need to bring in extra money to continue to afford our current lifestyle. WIBU to tell DH he will need to get out on his bike and do food deliveries for Deliveroo and Uber Eats to bring in funds if he isn't willing to cut back?

Two such interesting posts @Stackss .

This with bells on.
Downsize OP and stop burdening other people with your aspirations!
Aspiration and ambition are fine if you are financing them. I’d be embarrassed to ask family to make up for my greed.

I have 2 DC at private school and if I was in your situ I would downsize immediately. Children get settled into schools and friend groups, so as far as I’m concerned I’d rather stop the facade of being able to afford private school and a big house in a nice area.

Check down the back of the sofa OP, and update us again!

Well he’s not going to do it is he so whh hother being provocative suggesting something to annoy him.

You need to downsize the house, that’s the only chunk of money worth pursuing.

Why don’t you have him Deliveroo for 3 nights a week and you Deliveroo for 3 nights a week? Then it’s equal and fair. You both live in that big expensive house together and it’s both of your’s children who are privately educated. It’s amazing how many ‘middle class’ people are up to their eyeballs in finance and debt. They feel the need to keep up with the Jones’s, they need a big house in an affluent area, private education for their kids, expensive cars, extravagant holidays, designer clothes. It’s all a facade, loads of them are actually in serious debt and living in overdrafts, paying minimum amounts of loans and credit cards and finance. I’m (proudly) working class and live by the notion that if you can’t afford something you can’t have it. If you want something you save for it, with the exception of mortgage, but then you make sure you can actually afford your mortgage repayments, and even after all bills are paid you should also have a little left over for savings. It’s quite shocking just how many ‘middle class’ people actually have less in the bank than the working class, and they’re struggling to make the payments on that huge house, the cars they don’t even own because they’re on finance, the designer clothes bought using credit. It’s like a house of cards, one false move and the whole lot will come crashing down and they’ll loose the lot.

Best time for private school students to revert to state school is in the Sixth Form, where the students are highly motivated to achieve, discipline issues are negligible and teaching is high quality and in smaller groups.

omg they are just the cutest!

Look at state sixth forms so you can spend money you can afford without needing family. Your not happy with how your children have been doing at school recently anyway so why not consider elsewhere.

Erm

To give a cash reward to the twin who gets the best GCSE results? Is this you?

OP this is mad. You need to take a firm line with your DH here and tell him the kids need to be pulled from private school. This will end in tears if you go down this route. A private school education is really not the be all and end all. Crikey, you shouldn’t have even put your kids in private school in the first place if you were stretched in the first place and relying on family members to fund it is really not cool.

Your SISTER is going to start paying your kids school fees?

I really hope this is a goady wind up thread. Otherwise OP you need to take a take a serious look at your priorities.

Yea it’s the same poster but she has mentioned in this thread it will be the grandparents paying the bonuses while they plus her sister will be contributing to the actual fees

So many messed up priorities.

You need to budget your outgoings to match your income. If you do earn more in a second job unless your attitudes to money change the mentality of "oh now we also the the deliveroo money too" will lead to extra flippant spending rather than restraint.
It's the lack of budgeting work working extra hours and changing work/life balance.
Higher interest rates are here for the long term, historically over the last 50 years 7% is the average rate. The last few years have been historically low so don't kid yourself that they'll be dropping.

Even without the current interest rate rise, it sounds as if you can't afford private school fees - relying on grandparents, now the sister.
As pp have said, be wise and put them into state school for sixth form. Many parents do that anyway for UCAS.

£4k really isn't going to touch the sides when it comes to private school fees, and it will come at the expense of physical and mental health, so it is highly likely affect his performance in his day job. Will this look like a good idea if he ends up so knackered he loses his high-earning day job? This is a last resort, not something to do if you have other options.

£4K is also less than their DC will "earn" in the new few months if in the unlikely event they stick to their current planned revision schedule.

Personally I'd find it very hard to motivate myself to go out night after night to work a second job, while I watch my DC being paid for something that they really ought to be doing anyway. Very odd set of priorities in this (extended) family.

#MiddleClassProblems.

Face reality op you can’t afford the private education and the big house . Come down to earth with a perfectly good free education and a house you can afford . Your husband is an idiot .
the fact your are asking family to increase money is insane you do that if struggling , your not struggling your just spending more that you can afford it’s offensive to those really struggling to pay bills .

You can come off a deliveroo shift earning far less than minimum wage. It varies so much that there's no guarantee it would be a couple of grand when all said and done.

It is worth saying that Dsis and DBIL are very wealthy- they own 4 or 5 houses around the world. They have both said they wouldn't countenance the DC having to leave their school and are happy to help.

Meanwhile DH has started the background check process on Deliveroo- hopefully he'll be able to start his first shift on Friday.

You can tell him yes but make him no.tbh private school is very expensive.something like seven percent of pop is educated this way. I think it will not be your decision ultimately as it will be unaffordable. Maybe look for a good state school and supplement with extra private tuition. Otherwise look for a cheaper property.

With DH's Deliveroo shifts and additional contributions from Dsis and the grandparents, we are hopefully now in a position to continue to fund the private education and mortgage at least until the end of year 11.

How proud you must be at your ability to manage during this difficult time.

Well unless I have missed it she mentioned 'efficiency savings elsewhere' a few times. Not sure what that entails but I imagine cancelling that gym membership, switching shopping to Aldi, not eating out or whatever is not quite the same sacrifice as doing a full day job before coming home and climbing on your moped and working your evenings and weekends in a sub minimum wage job.

This.

Deluded op live within your means .