To think trackers on a teens phone is just wrong in most cases?

[Roseberry1]

Had a call from my dcs school on Friday. They are 16 in year 11. The receptionist said my dc hadn't been marked as attended to the last lesson and asked if I knew why, etc. It turned out my dd had crossed wires with the teacher in a mix-up, was on site, and it was all legitimate reasons, etc. Anyway, that's not the point in the thread.

The receptionist asked me, "Do you have a tracker on her phone?" When I said no, she gave me the impression I should have one (not just my dc but all teens). I find this so odd! Surely, there should be a certain level of trust when your 15/16 + teens go out. I dated this guy who had a tracker on his 15 year olds phone, his kid was only cycling to his mates house and was tracked, which I thought was ott.

Reasons a parent might track:

They live in an area with a very high crime rate where safety is a real high-risk issue.

Their dc are known to be in lots of trouble a lot of the time, often breaking the law.

They go "missing" for long periods and don't appear home when they are supposed to.

Not for teens just hanging out with their mates in a fairly safe town. Surely, as I said, a certain level of trust has to come in somewhere, and even if they do make mistakes, that's part of learning as you grow up. The thought of being "tracked" all the time by your parents just sounds odd to me!

What's weird about it?

That you’d rather track someone’s whereabouts rather than just texting and asking them.

We share our location in the family on "find my iPhone". I like it as I've nothing to hide about where I'm going, so really don't care if someone checks and sees "Tulip's in Tesco", or Tulip's at work", but if I was somewhere where I got into difficulties and needed help, it would be good to know my family would know where I am.

Yeh but they might realise after all trains have ended and they’re stuck on the wrong side of London after midnight

Obviously some posters see that as a nice learning experience I say stuff that. They’ll still be independent and learn just lower cost and less stress all round. That’s what useful tech does lowers cost and stress.

Life 360 here as family.

Everyone I know has them. My dc like them as they provide some assurance on where I am for lifts etc. No big deal but useful.

Uni! Ffs! Can the poor boy not go back to a girls place without his mother seeing on the tracker app he's having a shag! I know you can't actually see per se, but if I were 19/20 years old at Uni and my mother could see I wasn't in my flat after a night out but somewhere else... let him go!

I have a quick look to see if my dc have got home from school ok. Reassures me without having to let them know I need to be reassured! And brilliant for my own phone as I get ds to call me on find my iPhone when I've mislaid my phone! (It will call even if you're phones on silent )

I've got Life360 on my phone, for watching friends going home from nights out/dates - if we're coming home late one of us will drop a message asking someone to watch them. If my parents had ever attempted to put a track on my phone, I'd never have trusted them again.

This. I look on find my iphone when I'm at work to make sure they got home ok without having to call or text, its much faster. When they finish school ill remove them from the find my iPhone app. But its the only time it gets used at the minute

Then that will help them learn to plan journeys/check last train times/be mindful when they need to leave etc. But they never learn because parents just track to see where they are and go get them .

If its by total accident, then they can call to say I'm at x station, missed the train, please can you get me. Or they can pay for a taxi - the money they fork out will help them remember they don't wanna be doing that again...!

No I don’t get them and no they can’t plan when to leave as work finishes when it ends, not under their control.

The other option when there’s strikes is Uber and that’s it, they don’t get picked up.

I find it madness that you’d prefer your dc to be just left to it so late in London just because you need them to learn something, but there we go we’re all different.

I think there needs to be trust on for all teens without the need for tracking them when out with friends however trackers can be useful when teens are late home or if in a area where they aren’t used to I wouldn’t so much as say they are spying apps but I would think more a safety type app for when teens venture out alone say at night etc

Nothing, we could text, we could call , but we, as a family just prefer to use a function on our phones that lets us just check more efficently.

If you prefer to call I have no problem with that, why do you have a problem or feel you can judge what other people freely choose to do?

Honestly don’t get the dramatics. Easier to check on tracker that Dd is on bus home so I can put the potatoes on than text her every time. Saves me pestering them. Honestly don’t get the histrionics. Pretty much everyone of my friends with teens same age (14/16) as ours has find my phone. It’s totally unremarkable now.

Work...

Me too. It must be fear of something, lack of trust etc - that is just not there when you do use it

Eh?

People can do what they want, but the justifications for using trackers on each other as though it's a real life emergency and as though people didn't manage their way just fine without is just bizarre!

We also managed before washing machines and many other pieces of technology that have gradually made our lives easier. I don't use a mangle any more, OP, though humanity managed just fine before I could bung a cotton wash on at 40!

Work? How old are your dcs?

To those who track their DCs - at what age will you stop tracking them

My kids (and DH) chose to have trackers on their phones.

They know how to disable them and remove them. They can chose to stop anytime.

It's a choice.

Well I've only got access to the dc's find my iPhone as they are linked to my account - so once they pay their own phone contracts I imagine that will stop, unless they choose to continue (maybe they'll be tracking me by then!)

It's making some teens lives easier but not in a good way...

Still amazed at how others choosing to use a bit of tech sparks such levels of obnoxiousness in others.

School age as I said. The age you can work in casual job and do A levels at the same time. The job isn’t in our area and finishes late, it’s been good for him to do but I’m not going to get stressed out about the ‘they’ve got to learn’ posts.

I’m finding the hell bent it’s so terrible on here worse than the ease of using it

So do you think the poster who tracks her uni age son late at night is right to do so though, or would you agree that’s intrusive?

OP you seem very judgemental about how other people parent, how they choose to organise their family lives.
Using my tracker I'd have made the situation you describe in your OP far simpler, as I could have definitively said my dc was in school and that would be the end of the confusion!