Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think trackers on a teens phone is just wrong in most cases?

436 replies

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 17:32

Had a call from my dcs school on Friday. They are 16 in year 11. The receptionist said my dc hadn't been marked as attended to the last lesson and asked if I knew why, etc. It turned out my dd had crossed wires with the teacher in a mix-up, was on site, and it was all legitimate reasons, etc. Anyway, that's not the point in the thread.

The receptionist asked me, "Do you have a tracker on her phone?" When I said no, she gave me the impression I should have one (not just my dc but all teens). I find this so odd! Surely, there should be a certain level of trust when your 15/16 + teens go out. I dated this guy who had a tracker on his 15 year olds phone, his kid was only cycling to his mates house and was tracked, which I thought was ott.

Reasons a parent might track:

They live in an area with a very high crime rate where safety is a real high-risk issue.

Their dc are known to be in lots of trouble a lot of the time, often breaking the law.

They go "missing" for long periods and don't appear home when they are supposed to.

Not for teens just hanging out with their mates in a fairly safe town. Surely, as I said, a certain level of trust has to come in somewhere, and even if they do make mistakes, that's part of learning as you grow up. The thought of being "tracked" all the time by your parents just sounds odd to me!

OP posts:
iRun2eatCake · 08/01/2023 20:37

Life360. On DS19 and 15yrs and my phone. Used it for years .

Very useful when they lose their phones.... when the school send an automated message that they're absent from morning registration school's mistake...... and extremely useful in proving my now XH was having an affair - he forgot to turn location off...

DS know they have it on there and can remove it at any point

MistyLuna · 08/01/2023 20:40

My DH & I both have trackers on our phones in case they get lost/stolen, but it also gives me and him a sense of security: in case anything happens, each can locate the other. It's nothing to do with trust in our case. And when DC is old enough to have a phone, we'll do the same for him.

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:42

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/01/2023 20:34

Still amazed at how others choosing to use a bit of tech sparks such levels of obnoxiousness in others.

It just all ties in with there being so many young people out there whose parents are helicoptering them well into Uni and work where they can't problem solve themselves which flows into the work place. I see it first hand, literally from young people who still have their mum call in sick for them to ones who have no idea how to plan a journey for work purposes or have quick/logical thinking skills when something doesn't go to plan. I swear if they could call their mum, they would, but she's probably got them on the app waiting, so...

OP posts:
Notplayingball · 08/01/2023 20:42

We use it for both DS who are secondary aged. Both are aware of it. It's not a secret.

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:43

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:34

School age as I said. The age you can work in casual job and do A levels at the same time. The job isn’t in our area and finishes late, it’s been good for him to do but I’m not going to get stressed out about the ‘they’ve got to learn’ posts.

I’m finding the hell bent it’s so terrible on here worse than the ease of using it

Show quote history

A 17/18 year old should be fine navigating public transport like peers their age have done for decades, even late.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:44

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/01/2023 20:34

Still amazed at how others choosing to use a bit of tech sparks such levels of obnoxiousness in others.

I‘m with you. Maybe the op lives in a small town and their dc don’t really venture far or work.

Whatever it is they sound stuck in their ways.

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:44

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:43

A 17/18 year old should be fine navigating public transport like peers their age have done for decades, even late.

Show quote history

Oh give it up honestly. You’re too interested! And it’s become dull.

TheaBrandt · 08/01/2023 20:45

It’s quite literal to extrapolate tracking with helicopter parents. We don’t helicopter but it’s reassuring to confirm my teens are where they should be. I don’t race off to pick them up unless they are properly stuck.

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:46

Januarysux · 08/01/2023 20:35

OP you seem very judgemental about how other people parent, how they choose to organise their family lives.
Using my tracker I'd have made the situation you describe in your OP far simpler, as I could have definitively said my dc was in school and that would be the end of the confusion!

It wasn't a difficult situation and was sorted within minutes of her calling.

OP posts:
Tohaveandtohold · 08/01/2023 20:46

I find it hard to understand why people expect everyone to do things the same way they do and then make lots of assumptions about people who choose to do things differently. Do what works for you and your family.

BackAgainstWall · 08/01/2023 20:47

How would you feel if she didn’t come home at night and you couldn’t get hold of her?

Horrible question, but it can be a horrible world out there, no matter where you live.

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:49

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:44

Oh give it up honestly. You’re too interested! And it’s become dull.

Show quote history

You don't have to participate on the thread if it's dull... but a 17/18 year old (18 being adult) can get themselves to and from work with mum needing to have them on track in case they mess up.

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:51

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:49

You don't have to participate on the thread if it's dull... but a 17/18 year old (18 being adult) can get themselves to and from work with mum needing to have them on track in case they mess up.

Show quote history

Oh god people that say ‘mum’ you’re right you sound too painful 😬

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:51

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:51

Oh god people that say ‘mum’ you’re right you sound too painful 😬

Show quote history

What's wrong with mum

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 08/01/2023 20:52

Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:42

It just all ties in with there being so many young people out there whose parents are helicoptering them well into Uni and work where they can't problem solve themselves which flows into the work place. I see it first hand, literally from young people who still have their mum call in sick for them to ones who have no idea how to plan a journey for work purposes or have quick/logical thinking skills when something doesn't go to plan. I swear if they could call their mum, they would, but she's probably got them on the app waiting, so...

Show quote history

Bit of a leap from having a bit of tech people choose to switch on to full blown helicopter parenting.

The same way having a flutter on the lottery now and again doesn't make me a problem gambler.

converseandjeans · 08/01/2023 20:52

I agree - every move seems to be tracked. No wonder they're all anxious 😟

I think some can be tracked on Snapchat tho so they need to turn that off.

Big Brother does seem very real & I find it quite scary.

toocold54 · 08/01/2023 20:52

If you prefer to call I have no problem with that, why do you have a problem or feel you can judge what other people freely choose to do?

Because I work with teens and can see the impact things like this has on them.

You don’t need to look very hard to see how much anxiety and MH problems teens have nowadays and how much more immature people are now and that they do not have the skills to confidently live independently.

So many posters have said they need it for reassurance that they know where their DCs are at all times and that their DCs know where they are at all times - that’s really not healthy.

Many people (especially young people) already have an unhealthy obsession with their phone and need to take it everywhere and now people are using trackers on top - it’s really worrying when you see the correlation of things like this and anxiety/confidence/MH.

Also, Someone teaching their DD (or even DS) that it’s ok for someone to track them, is going to end up with them thinking it’s ok for their partners to track them too.

I think the negative impacts outweigh the benefits, especially when 99.9% of the ‘reasons’ that posters have given can be also be done through texts and phone calls.

If this was 5 years ago and someone started a thread saying they had a tracker on them then every single poster would be telling them to LTB and ring the police.
It’s now absolutely normal for some families which tells you everything.

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 20:55

toocold54 · 08/01/2023 20:52

If you prefer to call I have no problem with that, why do you have a problem or feel you can judge what other people freely choose to do?

Because I work with teens and can see the impact things like this has on them.

You don’t need to look very hard to see how much anxiety and MH problems teens have nowadays and how much more immature people are now and that they do not have the skills to confidently live independently.

So many posters have said they need it for reassurance that they know where their DCs are at all times and that their DCs know where they are at all times - that’s really not healthy.

Many people (especially young people) already have an unhealthy obsession with their phone and need to take it everywhere and now people are using trackers on top - it’s really worrying when you see the correlation of things like this and anxiety/confidence/MH.

Also, Someone teaching their DD (or even DS) that it’s ok for someone to track them, is going to end up with them thinking it’s ok for their partners to track them too.

I think the negative impacts outweigh the benefits, especially when 99.9% of the ‘reasons’ that posters have given can be also be done through texts and phone calls.

If this was 5 years ago and someone started a thread saying they had a tracker on them then every single poster would be telling them to LTB and ring the police.
It’s now absolutely normal for some families which tells you everything.

This.

OP posts:
toocold54 · 08/01/2023 20:55

Oh god people that say ‘mum’ you’re right you sound too painful

Huh?
What do you call your mum?

Actually I can imagine a lot of these PPs with trackers are adults who call mum and dad ‘mummy and daddy’ still.

Januarysux · 08/01/2023 20:57

Since I have an iPhone and so do dcs, and so we have find my iPhone automatically, and we're all on it as we have a family account so I can enable age appropriate restrictions on it, would you suggest I never look at the finder app if someone calls me to say dc is not in school?
It seems a very obvious thing to do!

grafittiartist · 08/01/2023 20:58

I don't track either child. I'd hate to be tracked.
Each to their own.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 08/01/2023 20:58

We have find my iPhone switched on across the family group. Means I could track the dc if something like this happened, but I don't use it generally. Came in handy when dd lost her phone though.

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:58

People that go on about mum unrelated remind me of staff that say is that ok mum?

Makes me cringe

And then you have posters going on about MH due to a bit of tech

Basically I’m with the others who use it, and glad they seem normal.

Januarysux · 08/01/2023 20:58

I'm far more concerned about location sharing on Snapchat and how that could be misused

Original poster
Roseberry1 · 08/01/2023 21:02

MarshaBradyo · 08/01/2023 20:58

People that go on about mum unrelated remind me of staff that say is that ok mum?

Makes me cringe

And then you have posters going on about MH due to a bit of tech

Basically I’m with the others who use it, and glad they seem normal.

That makes no sense 🤨

A bit of tech, which is tracking an adult or near adult to go to work, is odd.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread