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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend re-selling gift ?

117 replies

HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:15

Tell me if I am! Or maybe oversensitive?

I bought my friend's daughter a present for her birthday about 3 months ago and she is now selling it on Facebook to make money? I would rather have it back if she didn't like it so I could have it for my daughter. I am not angry just slightly a bit upset that she has thought so little of my gift?

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 07/01/2023 18:16

It's hers now. Once you hand over a gift, it's not your business what she does with it.

rollerblind · 07/01/2023 18:17

Perhaps she got two of the same, so keeping one and selling one?

FawnFrenchieMum · 07/01/2023 18:17

Well ultimately once you gift it, it’s theirs to do as they wish.
Maybe they got another for Christmas, maybe the child wants to buy something else, maybe they don’t have space etc.

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:17

I suppose thank you!

OP posts:
MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 07/01/2023 18:17

I wouldn't say anything but I certainly wouldn't gift them anything again.

AngelDelightUK · 07/01/2023 18:18

I had someone do this to me once and it really upset me. It was actually the end of our friendship because I pulled her up on it

have you mentioned it?

drpet49 · 07/01/2023 18:18

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 07/01/2023 18:17

I wouldn't say anything but I certainly wouldn't gift them anything again.

This

GiltEdges · 07/01/2023 18:19

Meh, couldn’t get worked up about it. As a PP said, maybe she got two of the same.

Would you have been more or less offended if she’d offered it back to you as it was a duplicate and asked you to provide an alternative gift? Or do you think she should have given it back and therefore her DD would have had no gift?

Fairydustandsparklylights · 07/01/2023 18:20

It could just be a duplicate gift or her dd didn’t like it. It’s really not that deep. She’ll most probably put the money in her daughters bank account. I think you’re massively overreacting. Who cares if she’s selling it?

Mars27 · 07/01/2023 18:24

YABU, sorry. Once you gave the gift away it's not yours to do anything about it.

Also, have you considered that she might be needing money? Sometimes appearances can be deceptive, even if she doesn't appear to be in financial difficulties she may as well be.

Just let it go.

purplepencilcase · 07/01/2023 18:25

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 07/01/2023 18:17

I wouldn't say anything but I certainly wouldn't gift them anything again.

Agreed. It's bloody rude. I'd not give them anything again.

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:25

@MeMyBooksAndMyCats I won't be! She has put it up for just £3. That's also the bit that's upset me it's worth more to an that and I knew her daughter liked the theme of it which is why I purchased it.

I haven't said anything yet as I don't know how to really!

OP posts:
Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:25

@AngelDelightUK I can imagine it upset you!

OP posts:
ratatattatt · 07/01/2023 18:26

Get over it. Money is tight for people at the moment so if her child has a duplicate or doesn't like it then maybe she can get shot of money to replace the gift with something she does like. It doesn't at all mean she's ungrateful for the gift. Maybe she's a bit thick not to realise you might see it but I really don't see anything wrong with it, better than it collecting dust.

SenecaFallsRedux · 07/01/2023 18:29

It would irritate me, but I certainly wouldn't say anything or end a friendship over it.

Oysterbabe · 07/01/2023 18:30

I think her rejecting it because she didn't like it and giving it back would have been more rude. At least this way she can buy something else with the money.

Snoopystick · 07/01/2023 18:31

Offer to buy it back? See what she says?

Suedomin · 07/01/2023 18:32

Are you sure it's the gift you gave her or did she get another the same so is selling the duplicate?

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:32

Thanks all I'll try and put it past me

OP posts:
ReiRay · 07/01/2023 18:32

If she would have text you and said I dont like this gift can I give you it back...what would your response have been? Truthfully?

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:32

@Suedomin it's only the one I got her- she said she hasn't had it before

OP posts:
rumbypumby · 07/01/2023 18:33

How old was the child? Kids grow out of things quickly. Especially when little. 3 months is a long time. She may have got use out of it and now no longer needs its

NeverHadANickname · 07/01/2023 18:34

I'm not sure about this. DS got some duplicate gifts and also some things he doesn't like or are too small. Generally I have given things away to other people but would it not be rude to give something back? I suppose if it is a duplicate she could have given it back but then what would you have done? Changed it for something else? She is just doing that herself surely by selling to perhaps buy something else. Maybe gift receipts should he given too so they could exchange them. I haven't really answered but it is something I have thought about.

fajitaaaa · 07/01/2023 18:34

For me it would absolutely depend on what the item is - if I'd spent a lot on it or it was personalised or quite unique it would annoy me more than I'd it was generic plastic stuff that cost me £10. It would however still annoy me that only 3 months on it was being sold - I think 6 months would have been acceptable. As pp said maybe it's a duplicate from christmas?

I would be tempted to buy it back off her!

Glitterybee · 07/01/2023 18:34

The thing is kids get so much you lose track of who bought what! She’s probably had a clear out after Christmas and listed anything that the child has outgrown or lost interest in.

I wouldn’t be offended by this