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Original poster

Friend re-selling gift ?

117 replies

HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 18:15

Tell me if I am! Or maybe oversensitive?

I bought my friend's daughter a present for her birthday about 3 months ago and she is now selling it on Facebook to make money? I would rather have it back if she didn't like it so I could have it for my daughter. I am not angry just slightly a bit upset that she has thought so little of my gift?

OP posts:
Luckysdadsrules1 · 07/01/2023 19:51

This wouldn’t bother me. Maybe she got a duplicate or she’s didn’t like it and is selling it to buy something she does like

Bagzzz · 07/01/2023 19:53

I don’t think selling is worse than re-gifting. Her daughter will get some money (or household will if things are tight). I think it’s more likely she has used it if price is lower and now time to move on.

TwoMonthsOff · 07/01/2023 19:54

Buy it back …I would

TiredThursday · 07/01/2023 19:55

For a while everytime I had a clear out I would find a couple of gifts that hadn't been quite right. And each time I'd kept them for years in. A drawer or cupboard, not getting rid of them so as not to offend the giver. But I realised that's daft, if I want to sell it or regift it to someone that wuld appreciate it then that's a much better use for it than sitting in my drawer. I've just sold a birthday present that was totally unsuitable, I'd never offend by asking to swap it but this way it's gone to someone who genuinely wants it.

Fluffyyellowduck · 07/01/2023 19:56

Unless it was handmade, you can’t be certain that it’s the one you got her. The dc often end up with 2/3 duplicates of the same gift, would be silly to keep them all! ☺️

IWineAndDontDine · 07/01/2023 19:56

Isthisit22 · 07/01/2023 19:46

Ridiculous.
Are we all supposed to keep all gifts forever?
My daughters received over 30 gifts sometimes due to having birthday parties. Obviously some would miss the mark.
It does not make someone lacking in empathy to not like a gift.
Do agree that the mum should have disposed of it more discreetly though.
To all those saying they'd never buy her another present- how childish. Next time just give money/voucher or actually ask what the child wants.

Show quote history

I didn't say that. I said someone using the argument of "its theirs to do what they want with now why would it bother you" is unempathetic. Regardless whether them discarding the gift is reasonable or not it can still hurt.

honeylulu · 07/01/2023 19:57

I think the real slap in the face was that she did it on Facebook where it was very easy for you to see it. Someone once did this with a new baby gift from me. The thing about regifting/selling is you should be discreet to not hurt the givers feelings.

Bluebelleggs · 07/01/2023 19:59

HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 19:29

Thanks @Talkwhilstyouwalk it was Facebook selling. Also she made a big thing out of how much she loved it ...

Do you feel that by selling it she is somehow saying she doesn’t like you as much as you thought? Because if she said how much she liked it when she wasn’t fussed, I suspect that was w she really likes you and is perhaps aware that you would feel offended in some way if you thought she didn’t. If you want to get a gift you know her daughter will love then ask her what to get. That’s what mu sister and I do for our kids. Otherwise we do send money. All our kids love getting money for presents. We take our youngest on a special shopping trip to spend birthday.Xmas money on whatever she wants and the older ones put the money altogether to buy something they really want which is too expense to get as an individual gift.

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 20:06

@Bluebelleggs it's more I feel she doesn't appreciate my friendship, the present I got is just one of many etc ... I have been feeling that way recently about our friendship so this probably hasn't helped.

OP posts:
Original poster
HunkieDorie · 07/01/2023 20:06

@honeylulu I think that's what I am trying to get at

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Zombiemum1946 · 07/01/2023 20:09

My sil would go through the smiths or argos catalogue with the kids and write the codes. Each gift cost around £10-20 and I told her how much i could spend and she gave me the toy code. I made sure I told her I'd manged to get it. She has a large extended family so it helped her to keep track of what the kids were getting and reduce duplication. She warned me to be firm with people when I had my own, and she was right.I wouldn't punish the child, I'd just ask mum specifically which toy or give a voucher or cash with a favourite sweetie. Whatever the reason if she doesn't have history of being like this, then I would just let it go. Wouldn't be the first time a much begged for item has been dumped after a few days. My dd and the bloody furby is a prime example, £70 bloody quid and it lasted a week before being unwanted.

NorthYorkQueen · 07/01/2023 20:11

A friend of a friends young daughter (6 years old) put lots of her toys up for sale earlier last year via her mum on Facebook. I actually bought one toy for my daughter. I discovered the little girl was trying to raise funds for a special trip she wanted to go on with her mum and brother, her mum has said she had to save if she wanted to go on it as she couldn’t afford it so the little girl had looked out some toys to make some pennies. I only mention as like other posters have said you don’t know what’s going on and maybe mum is teaching her child well like this mum.

Turnthelightoff · 07/01/2023 20:14

If you’d really like it for your DD then ask her. Say ooh DD would actually love to have one of these, I’m not buying for from you though since I bought it!

gemloving · 07/01/2023 20:15

I would be extremely blunt next time and say, I've seen you sold what I got you on FB marketplace. Could you please tell me what I can get so I can get it right?

BubziOwl · 07/01/2023 20:17

It's just very bad manners.

I wouldn't judge her if she put it on vinted, under an anonymous sounding username. But to put it on fb knowing full the giver of the present can see is just rude and hurtful.

HelloBunny · 07/01/2023 20:17

She just needs the cash after Christmas. I wouldn’t take any offence.

mellicauli · 07/01/2023 20:19

She's selling children's items on MarketPlace. Maybe check if she's struggling and if there's anything you can do before you get on your high horse?

Calphurnia88 · 07/01/2023 20:23

BubziOwl · 07/01/2023 20:17

It's just very bad manners.

I wouldn't judge her if she put it on vinted, under an anonymous sounding username. But to put it on fb knowing full the giver of the present can see is just rude and hurtful.

This.

I don't think the act of reselling is bad in itself, but doing it on FB marketplace where you can see it is pretty tactless.

Bananaman123 · 07/01/2023 20:26

My first thought would be maybe she needs the money, like a lot of people right now.

Skyeheather · 07/01/2023 20:36

I always try to give a gift receipt or pay in cash and give the actual receipt. It wouldn't bother me if someone wanted to exchange it or take it back and spend the money on something else. I'd rather the child had something they wanted. If I were you I would ask what the child might like next time as it seems you don't get the gift quite right this time.

Cornelious · 07/01/2023 20:38

It's theirs to do how they like but I think it's crass to sell it on a public forum as it's so obvious.

boxingdayisbest · 07/01/2023 20:46

If it's a theme she likes, it is very likely two people bought it for her. This has happened to my sons several times.

She may be selling the spare.

emptythelitterbox · 07/01/2023 20:46

Do people really sell things that cheap?

I'd gift it, charity shop, or put it out front for free.

Mostwonderful · 07/01/2023 20:47

Just message, oh as your DC is done with this now, I’d love it for my own DC. Then pay her the £3. If she asks for it.

Original poster
HunkieDorie · 08/01/2023 22:23

I don't want to message and make it awkward

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