To tell all of you pushy parents how much you're damaging your CHILDREN?!

[AbsolutelydisgustedGCSE]

Yes, they're children. They're 15 years old and they don't know what clothes they want to wear, never mind what they want to do with their lives.
When I did my GCSEs, in a very strict independent school, the pressure was so bad that 4 of my schoolmates had eating disorders, 3 were pregnant, at least 3 had drug addiction and 2 turned up to exams drunk.
This was only 20 years ago.
My child is doing GCSEs this year and I've told them to try their best but, under no circumstances, to feel pressured into anything!!

For me there are a lot of mums on here who seem unable to accept their lovely child is perfectly average. ‘They’re so bright but it just doesn’t show in their school work’ ‘Their low grades is because the school isn’t supporting them properly’ ‘They’d do so much better if they just studied more than the hour a day they currently do’ etc.

No, your child is just average, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

There are also lots of teens who are quite bright, but unfocused, or maybe a bit lazy. They'd much prefer to play games online or chat with their friends rather than doing their homework. Or they have poor time management or study techniques and spend lots of time re-writing notes but not enought time absorbing them. And they understand very little about how the education system works.
It's all about balance. Of course downtime is extremely important, but there are many reasons even a bright student won't achieve well. If they don't bother studying the course, for example, or if they are not equipped with the techniques to enable them to get the best benefit from their work.

It's a parent's job to guide their child and to help them achieve their best.

The school I went to classed as Independent in all the stars etc. It was free. I think it was something like a City Technology College - founded in the mid 90s for kids aged 11 to 18.

@HyacinthBridgerton yes the CTCs were the early version of the Academy schools.
State funded but run separately from Local Authority schools and also funded by sponsorship and independent in the way that they could set their own admissions and curriculum.
Unfortunately the government wants all schools to be Academy schools now (and most are) so they are essentially the only schools available in most towns so the Local Authority sends the children there - because they is no longer LA alternatives.
'Academy' just means 'local bog-standard comp' these days.
Shame because the original CTC concept was actually quite a good alternative idea.

I know what you are saying OP, and feeling that your worth is tied up in your grades must be hard. However, I work in a top school in China. High expectations and insane level of tutoring are just normal. Pupils end up well-educated, in part because everyone around them expects them to be. For them it is normal, and they react accordingly. Even the more challenging kids, still really care about their grades. There are no drop outs.

It isn’t just our school. China regularly churns out excellent grades. Chinese pupils in the UK still have families that prioritise education, and do better than any other pupils. Even Chinese pupils on free school meals outperform everyone except Chinese pupils not on FSM. So pushy parents from this culture get better results. It really isn’t rocket science. This also translates into highly paid careers.

It’s logically consistent - more work and effort when they are young results in better exam grades when they are older. You may choose not to subject your child to that, and I think it’s difficult to do so in the UK without causing a resultant victim mentality (because in the uk, being tutored for, say, 5+ hours per week would be unusual and pupils may view that as cruel), however, IME the fact remains that considerable effort leads to better results. Surely that is logical.

It doesn’t all need to end in teen pregnancy and rebellion. If the wider culture is consistent with hard work, then I feel that it’s more likely to be viewed as normal and adhered to. And as Chinese parents on FSM show, actually hard work at school pays off in the long run.

In the UK:
Independent and public schools = parents pay for schools. Public schools always cause confusion - these are independent (fee-paying) schools with status e.g. Eton, Harrow etc.

If you don’t pay - state school, and boy there are loads of those. Academies, free schools, upper schools, state grammar and on and on.

@BuHao I would also add it is ingrained culturally in the Chinese mindset that success is the result of hard work, not necessarily natural ability. So if a student is not getting good grades, the answer is to work harder. There is no shame in needing to work harder than their more naturally bright classmate to get the same academic grades.

Weaker students are not pushed into less academic options automatically. They are expected to practice more.

I remember being fed 'motivational' stories of scholars taking drastic measures to pass the fiendishly difficult imperial exams in dynastic times because passing was the gateway to a successful civil service career. It develops work ethic.

I guess it depends what they are being pushed into.
As a kid, I was pushed into doing Judo, as a guise for it being a way to defend myself. I was absolute rubbish at it. Yet, I was hauled all over the country for competitions that I only got a trophy in because there were not enough people in my weight class to compete against. It had a huge effect on my self esteem. I was constantly being set up to fail.