To be jealous of my friend’s social housing house?

[Crankitcrew]

I have a house with a mortgage. I can barely afford to pay for repairs to the house. It’s falling apart.
My friend has recently moved into social housing and has a much more spacious house than mine, but the biggest reason I’m jealous is if anything goes wrong with the house it’s fixed by the housing association within days. No cost. She only pays a small contribution towards her rent. The rest is paid. She doesn’t work and claims PIP because she has PTSD and depression.

She and her partner are talking about getting some decking done in the garden and paying £600 for it. There’s no way on earth we could afford that, we can’t even afford to have the re plastering done that is falling off, not to mention the damp problem.

People say to me “well, at least you own your home” and “you can leave it to your children” but what if we never pay the mortgage off? What if we end up needing care and the money from the house goes to pay that instead? Which is what happened to my grandparents.

I saw getting on the property ladder a right of passage or something, but I now realise it’s not all it’s made out to be.

Sell it and apply for social housing?

@NewBootsAndRanty you can’t do that apparently, I have looked into it.

Really? My kitchen unit fell off the wall and I’ve been waiting 2 years for the council to fix it 🤦🏻😏

Thats a shame

Maybe you could rent privately. It's not usually the case that tenants have to pay for repairs, regardless of whether they work or not.

Maybe it’s worse living with PTSD? Count your lucky stars

Oh and depression

I wouldn't be jealous of someone with PTSD and depression. Must be horrible, even with decking.

Comparing yourself to others is the fast track to misery.

I privately rent at great expense. I would like to either own a house, or rent from social housing. But neither are likely so I suck it up. No point envying other people's lives, especially when they have ptsd.

But you have choices. More choices than your friend.

PTSD and depression are not easy. If they are bad enough for her to not be able to work I'd wager her life is pretty hard going and you shouldn't really begrudge her a bit of decking...

If you sold your house and got a rented property it any issues would get resolved as well. My toilet broke in my HA and I had to wait 6 weeks to get it fixed. I went 2 months without a boiler.

I paid full rent. Grass is not always greener op. But you seem rather green

Jealous of someone with PTSD and depression because they can afford decking? There must be more to this?

Poor you 🎻

But she has PTSD and depression. Must be awful to live with that.

No, speaking as a HA tenant, I don't think home owning is all it's made out to be. I have a lovely new build house with a heat pump and underfloor heating, if anything goes wrong it gets fixed very promptly, and they've given me a lifetime tenancy.

If anyone who wanted a house like this on these terms could get one, then I imagine the housing market would collapse and property prices would plummet, and what would the poor banks and property developers do then? 😱

Which is why houses like this are in short supply, I'm incredibly lucky to have got it, and so many of my friends are suffering from harrowing housing insecurity, being kicked out of/ trying to find private rentals- pour encourager les autres 😡

Tattle a bit boring tonight?

I get you OP and I’m in the same boat. Have my own house but can’t afford to do anything to it. So now it needs big jobs done to it where nothing has been done for years. If you’re lucky enough to get decent social housing ( I know some are bad in crappy housing estates) you’re very fortunate. My boiler is on its way out and I don’t have six grand to replace it so what are you meant to do? It sucks.

🙄

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Stop looking at what you don't have and try looking at what you do!

Some people will never ever be in a position to have a mortgage and own their home and no doubt envy you.

Quite. I'm on PIP and ESA due to ptsd and several other conditions; home ownership will never ever be an option for me.

Yet another MN thread (not so) subtly benefit bashing.

From your post you haven't mentioned your health but I assume from the dig at your friend getting PIP you are healthy.

I get PIP, I'm a homeowner, I am also - take a deep breath ladies - financially dependent on my husband as all benefits bar PIP take the earning of the other adults in the household.

2 of my 3 wishes from my genie

1. Make disability benefits known as a different name than "benefits", I guarantee your aunt Dora's best friends nephews SILs son is not a benefit cheater on disability benefits - they need too much medical backing to prove the reason and medical intervention in your illness.

1. That disability benefits were not means tested by household money. I'm not at all in this position but know of people who are in a bad state due to not so Dear spouces withholding family money and the disabled person having to live off PIp alone and pay their own way in the household- it leaves disabled people ripe for financial abuse.

Oh OK then for my 3rd wish I'd like to be well again and go back to my high paying job and be able to buy lovely expensive high heels again.

But as you were OP, dont be appreciative of your asset or your health. God isn't it unfair when something you own breaks down. It's really shit when it's your own body.

She has PTSD and Depression and shes luckier than you because shes getting some decking?!?!

Christ sake OP 🙄

Tbh op, I have suffered in the past with complex PTSD and depression, it's awful to live with.

Don't compare your life to hers.

Comparison is the thief of joy, the grass is never greener elsewhere. It’s easy to get wrapped up in your own worries and gloss over the problems others have - she may well envy your health and home ownership.

My new boiler was less than a grand.

i rent privately and grew up in social housing, it has good and bad points like every kind of housing.

you know what doesn’t have good points? PTSD. I’d give up almost anything other than my kids if I could be sure of never having a flashback or panic attack or depression that lasts 5 years again.