To be jealous of my friend’s social housing house?

[Crankitcrew]

I have a house with a mortgage. I can barely afford to pay for repairs to the house. It’s falling apart.
My friend has recently moved into social housing and has a much more spacious house than mine, but the biggest reason I’m jealous is if anything goes wrong with the house it’s fixed by the housing association within days. No cost. She only pays a small contribution towards her rent. The rest is paid. She doesn’t work and claims PIP because she has PTSD and depression.

She and her partner are talking about getting some decking done in the garden and paying £600 for it. There’s no way on earth we could afford that, we can’t even afford to have the re plastering done that is falling off, not to mention the damp problem.

People say to me “well, at least you own your home” and “you can leave it to your children” but what if we never pay the mortgage off? What if we end up needing care and the money from the house goes to pay that instead? Which is what happened to my grandparents.

I saw getting on the property ladder a right of passage or something, but I now realise it’s not all it’s made out to be.

If you rent (privately or as a social tenant) you have to pay rent until you die. You may get some support with that, but the support depends on thr govement of the day. You have no ultimate control over that apart from your own vote.
You do not know the terms of her lease. Most are no longer lifelong tenancies. They are usually for a fixed period and after that she could lose her right to the property, particularly if her circumstances have changed.
In return for having to pay for your own repairs, you have security. Nobody can take your home from you as long as you continue to pay your mortgage. Eventually this will be paid off. You may even make money on your property if it goes up in value.
Renting has its benefits, but you're wrong to be jealous -'it's hard to qualify for social housing and her personal circs are definitely worse than yours even if you're not fully aware of the ways in which that is the case.

OP why can't you fix up your house as much as you can yourself?

Even plastering isn't rocket science, plenty of YouTube tutorials, materials not too expensive and you can do a small area at a time and sand down to a smooth finish.

As a PP said, you have options and choices. Your friend has struck lucky with her home, she could have had to accept a shithole in an awful area which would have name her health much worse.

You can sell up and buy something cheaper or better in a cheaper area.

Just get some cheap second hand decking off gumtree and then you are even !!
i have a few friends with council flats in Covent garden and Charing cross road...central london..!!...been in them for years and years....am not jealous...quite happy with my victorian semi in zone 3...!

I whooped with joy when I got cancer and then a disability.

Total score, now my rent is paid because my life is severely impaired. Its great, honestly.

I don’t know why you’re getting so many sarky comments op but I agree with you. I have a house but it’s falling to bits because for years jobs haven’t been done on it ( one income lone parent can’t afford it) My boiler is about to pack up and I don’t have six grand spare to replace it so fuck knows what I will do. It’s constant stress. My friends boiler packed up in her HA place and within a week she had a new one fitted. Of course having your own home is lovely but without money to maintain it you just end up running it down.

We are moving next week into an adapted house for our disabled daughter. It has a huge downstairs bedroom and ensuite extension with french doors. It is a beautiful house with a huge gated driveway. But this house is to make life easier for my 12yr old little girl. Who has severe ptsd, ME, ocd and physchosis. All stemming from almost dying of covid in sept 21. I would happily stay in our current house if it meant she didn't need a wheelchair, didn't need me to feed her every meal, would sleep alone, would be able to go to mainstream school.

In the nicest possible way jealousy is not healthy. People may appear to have it all but bloody hell ptsd is so awful. Being able to make her garden nice to be able to enjoy the nice weather could make such a difference to her wellbeing.

People don't get social housing for no reason. If she has one, it's for a very good reason.

I have one, in a lovely area and I love it. But I used to be homeless and then a few years later in different circumstances got moved to this house because of DV.

I pay all of my rent, most importantly I have safe and secure housing for me and my children.

Why would you borrow so much that you can ‘barely afford’ to pay your mortgage?

Also acknowledge some council housing is crap in horrible housing estates it’s just pot luck what you end up with.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I don't want to make pension age and still be renting, you hopefully won't be too. That's why I decided to buy a house, and I would prefer to pay my mortgage than someone else's mortgage. Once it is paid off, I'll always have a roof over my head. Yep, I have to maintain the house, but it is mine to maintain.

Absolutely sick to the back teeth of these threads now.

They are fucking tedious.

As someone with severe PTSD, anxiety and depression, chrons disease and fibro just to add to the fun - I promise having a housing association house doesn't magic away all the above. I count myself extremely lucky to have our home, but living with the above everyday is nothing to envy.

I know a lady who lied about MH issues and got PIP, a brand new mobility car and a gorgeous HA house in one of the most sought over areas in the city and she gets instantaneous help whenever anything goes wrong In the house

On the flip side I know a lady in HA property who agreed to roof repairs in November, the HA damaged the roof and windows so badly that water pours through when it rains and two rooms are now full of damp and black mould.

I have C-PTSD as a result of being sexually abused throughout childhood, and have suffered addiction and depression throughout my adult life.

I never got a free house. I pay rent and work.

Some people are given a free ride and I completely understand the sense of injustice.

I waited 4months for the downstairs loo to be fixed in my social housing.

What landlord does she have, they sound fab.

I've been waiting 5 years for a new bathroom suite, the current one is over 20 years old and we can't shower as there's no water pressure

Social housing isn't necessarily free 🙄 mine isn't. There's no injustice involved, different circumstances and different housing associations allocate on different criteria.
Sorry for your awful past, I hope you are getting help and healing - but the attitude towards others isn't necessary.

I know this wasn’t meant to be funny but the, ‘even with decking’ part really made me laugh out loud😂

I reported my fence, which blew down last year in January. They said they would come out in April. Got a message the day they said they would come and told me it wouldn't be till July. Ended up paying £60 myself, 2 days after they said they wouldn't be out.

Had a dripping tap, took then 3 months to come and sort it out.

I agree with all of the comments though.

My mum has severe depression and PTSD as well as a few other serious mental health issues. It’s no way to live at all. You may hear your friend talking about getting decking for £600 but trust me when I say you don’t know her day to day struggles at all. PTSD is such a serious thing to live with let alone depression alongisde it

I have a new build 3 bedroom house. En-suite. Village location. Lifetime assured tenancy.

I also have a severely disabled son and a DD that passed away so can no longer use that 3rd bedroom.

The grass isn't always greener. I don't have any mental health issues. I wouldn't want your friends PTSD for a house!

siren unless that woman is you I highly highly doubt she was given that level of PIP whilst making up her mental health issues.

I have a lot of experience filling in the forms (not just for myself) and unless you are on a high level.of medication or are seeing numerous departments regularly you will not get PIP high rate care and mobility which you need to get a car provided.

Its far more likely she doesn't want to share her medical history with you. Many of my acquisitions think I'm a housewife/SAHM, which is a life I would never choose for myself- but also they never see me on a bad day or realise I haven't actually left the house in a year.

Not much of a friend op..

maybe you’re one of my so called friends who have said similar crap about me in the past.

ptsd and depression is a fucker to live with. I’d rather be a homeowner (I was once) and have my health than be where I now

Agree OP. Also if they buy it in a number of years time they will get a massive discount which I think is unfair in many cases.