To be jealous of my friend’s social housing house?

[Crankitcrew]

I have a house with a mortgage. I can barely afford to pay for repairs to the house. It’s falling apart.
My friend has recently moved into social housing and has a much more spacious house than mine, but the biggest reason I’m jealous is if anything goes wrong with the house it’s fixed by the housing association within days. No cost. She only pays a small contribution towards her rent. The rest is paid. She doesn’t work and claims PIP because she has PTSD and depression.

She and her partner are talking about getting some decking done in the garden and paying £600 for it. There’s no way on earth we could afford that, we can’t even afford to have the re plastering done that is falling off, not to mention the damp problem.

People say to me “well, at least you own your home” and “you can leave it to your children” but what if we never pay the mortgage off? What if we end up needing care and the money from the house goes to pay that instead? Which is what happened to my grandparents.

I saw getting on the property ladder a right of passage or something, but I now realise it’s not all it’s made out to be.

I get it OP.

I doubt OP is saying she's jealous of someone with depression and PTSD. OP is probably jealous of people who have social housing in general.

I am jealous of people who have social housing. I own with mortgage like you OP.
Honestly perhaps I didn't think it through. I can see myself in the future not being able to afford repairs and I've no idea what my mortgage payments will be in the future, hopefully I'll just be able to afford them it's a worry to be honest.
I'm not sure I did really think about it all.
But when my family said they'd help I accepted as there would no landlord to say you have to move as I'm selling and also there was the real risk I'd have to give up my pets.

But I can't do anything now obviously. I own the house so I have to get on with it and cross my fingers

@purpleme12 See, we own our own house and have a mortgage, but just shows how we all think differently (genuinely don't mean that to be funny!)
I just don't get being jealous of anyone on benefits or in need of social housing.
Not meant as a dig to anyone, we all have our own circumstances

@RedAndBlueStripedGolfingUmbrella I'm still on benefits even though I own. I work but get top up. But low income so would be eligible for social housing.
So it's not so much the thinking about the benefits thing if you see what I mean. I'm just putting myself in that position

But you can sell your house and have cash in the bank, you have an asset (long term anyway, but even short term unless you have an exorbitant mortgage)

Yes I guess so. I just find things like this hard by myself

Yabu. Everyone's position in life from Rishi Sunak earing billions to the poorest benefits claimant struggling to heat and eat is due largely to luck and circumstances. There is no point comparing apples and oranges. Be a friend to this person or don't. It's up to you.

Yes, because it's that easy to get social housing. What a stupid/thoughtless/provocative response (you choose).

There are 12m people in the UK of working age who receive some form of state handout. By 2050 the amount of people who are 67 and over will be larger than the the number of people who are under 67. Not everyone under the age of 67 works. As we approach that point in time, benefits will have to be cut because a smaller and smaller number of economically active (eg working people) will have to sustain the incomes of those who do not work.

In short demographics are going to screw the benefits system in the UK and anyone relying on it is in for a big shock.

I wouldn't be jealous of someone with PTSD.

@AllThingsServeTheBeam what medical proof is there as such for MH
I have MH issues I spoke to my dr and explained them there is no test so I guess someone could look up details and then tell gp them , pretty shit thing to do though
But I mean there is no medical test as such , you wouldn't look at me and go yep she has MH issues etc
I never claimed for Pip or anything though as never realised you even could as when I was made redundant & my m) took a huge nosedive and I briefly went on jobseekers i wasn't advised i qualified for help and for a year my mh was rock bottom
Im back working full time now but every day is still a battle so its seems awful that people lie about such things but at the same time not unbelievable , but it makes it harder for all of us with MH issues

And not having to worry about paying rent when you're pension age or your kids being forced to clear out a lifetime of belongings in less than a week when you die.

Why wouldn't you want to make sure your children have as much as you can give them before you go?

Some friend you are, a real friend would be pleased for her.
Envy and jealously are rooted in greed and fear.

I work with a girl who is also jealous because I live in a HA property. I had a mortgage when I was married but could now never afford to get back on the property ladder where I would like to live despite working full time . Of all the things to be jealous about I find it very odd .

I'm in social housing but privately rented for years, no way I could save a deposit for a house on my own between the large private rent and minimum wage (working in social care) I envy those who had family that were bothered enough to help out by by offering somewhere to live rent free or for a token amount, or offered deposits, or have reliable partners to save with and split the bills, so people could buy their own place, and who didn't have to worry about leaving again, at the cost of more money that I didn't have, because an LL was selling up or wanted more rent, having to move where I could afford rather than where I could get to work without an issue or where there was a decent school. I envy people who didn't lose everything in a relationship, to then qualify for social housing, or who had the opportunity and support to make a career for themselves rather than jobs that don't pay enough to live on.
But I'm still alive and I have a roof over my head and I'm incredibly lucky that I have that because it hasn't always been the case.

For the mobility element of PIP I am talking about to get a car.

This . Be careful what you are envious of .

You might be jealous of my HA house, but fuck me - I bet you wouldn't be jealous if you knew how I ended up here

@AllThingsServeTheBeam I get what you’re saying but I don’t doubt @SirenSays at all.

Yes it’s so difficult to get awarded PIP let alone the highest award as it’s quite difficult for explain just how much your health/disability can impact you day to day. But as a pp said, there’s absolutely no test to double check someone has mental health. I could go to the GP with a load of issues that I don’t have (low moods, extreme anxiety, struggle to leave the house etc), I can then be prescribed antidepressants if I’ve said I’ve tried everything to manage my mental health such as therapy and mindfulness etc. I can pick up my antidepressants from the pharmacy and throw one in the bin everyday to ensure I’m getting repeat prescriptions at the correct time.

I then apply for PIP and I’ll have all the evidence I need to possibly qualify as there’s a physical trail of my issues. So if I managed to get the enhanced rate mobility of PIP, then I could also possibly qualify for a mobility car. I don’t doubt what SirenSays about her friend/SIL at all tbh

I mean you could and of course benefits cheats do exist. But why be jealous of benefits cheats? It is a pretty pathetic existence, going to long lengths to defraud the state for not a huge amount of money. Constantly having to maintain a lie of disability. Dedendent on someone in power falling for your lies.

Imagine if they put that effort in to getting an actual job.

Yes op.
Some bits of wood in the garden don’t cure these conditions.

This. Don't get the mumsnet envy of social housing from homeowners.

Fixed within days?!

Crikey! I'll let my mum know she shouldn't be waiting months for repairs then!

Every way of life has advantages and disadvantages. So you just have to pick your preferred set of disadvantages.

You do realise she doesn’t own her house right? If you’re so jealous, sell your house and rent. Honestly. You want to have your cake and eat it here. You can’t own it and rent it. Pick.

THIS