Taxi driver emotionally blackmailing me

[AmberAndAlexsMum]

Sounds drastic I know, but my ds (17) goes to an SEN college, which is 25 miles away. He gets a taxi, paid for by the council, to take him and bring him back.

Now ds has severe sleep issues, he's had all his life, and sometimes he simply cannot sleep at night and ends up too exhausted to go in. If this happens I always text the driver as early as possible.

Over the last 6 months or so, every time I've texted him to say ds isn't going in, he's responded by complaining that he's losing money as he only gets paid when the kids go in.

I appreciate that, but surely he doesn't have the right to emotionally blackmail me? He knows I'm empathic and don't like causing problems, but I'm beginning to think that he is deliberately doing this.

AIBU to expect him to accept that ds can't always go to college? I've had no problems with previous drivers and I always make sure to let them know before they leave home.

This is going to descend into another thread that basically says educating disabled kids is a waste of money

Can smell it a mile off.

Guven how disgusting the last thread got when the costs came up it’ll be interesting to see how vile @mnhq let it get this time…

It's not emotional blackmail. The driver has had his morning's income disappear. This leaves him in a difficult position.
He expressed that. Presumably when you called him to cancel at the last minute after he'd got up and made arrangements to be there.
OK - not your fault - but I'm sure you'd be expressing your annoyance if when you'd got DS up and ready the taxi didn't turn up. Not emotional balckmail.

Speak to the council - they are the ones who are responsible. Get a better system sorted.

People absolutely do NOT have a right to complain about how taxes are spent in individual cases.

You have a right to complain if you think people with SEN shouldn't be sent to school (it would make you a twat), or that schools should be paid less, or that SEN provision should be available closer to home IN GENERAL but you absolutely have no right whatsoever to complain about somebody living their life within the law of the land and according to a child's actual enshrined in law RIGHT to an education.

@Deathbyfluffy
I bet a lot of people just hate that there are children with disabilities, eh?
How very dare they?
imagine them having a right to education and the ability to get to school, eh?
Why don’t we behave as if we existed in a country where there is no taxation system to cover all people who need services?

The alternative is your ring every morning to try to book a taxi and you might not always get one at the time you want....

That wouldn't work . Taxi drivers are allocated the people they need to do the 'school runs' until the contract finishes . They all want them as they are so lucrative . The only time you would get a different driver is when the driver can't make it , off sick etc .

But when u take a sen Client on that is a possibility, u wouldn't say that to a non verbal child or a child/adult who has medical problems that cause them not to be able to go school/college so why would u say to any other sen child.

I wouldnt say that was emotional blackmail- surely he is simply explaining why he feels annoyed about it. If he gave you no explanation you'd say he was being unreasonable? I do see both sides here- he's waiting for work that he cannot replace with another job. This depends on how much you cancel?- once in a blue moon and I'd agree he was unreasonable but if its a couple of times a week then I do get his point- we are all struggling financially at the moment so its difficult.

Agree about speaking to the council - its their issue to deal with, not yours.

"I think anyone in this situation should be grateful taxis are provided, as in a lot of countries it’d be down to the parents to get the kids to school."

Alternatively the taxpayer should complain that the Government provides suitable educational facilities within easy reach of disabled children rather force them to travel long distances.

DD's SEN school has a vast catchment and she spends an 2 hours plus each day travelling there. Guarantee parents of NT children wouldn't be feeling grateful in the same circumstances.

Again, a totally ignorant post.

For the record, dh works full time. So in a roundabout way we, along with other “tax payers” do pay for our sons placement if you want to get picky, as irrelevant as that is because actually what the hell do you expect children with severe enough needs for a specialist school to do? And lots of people with children with sen are unable to work as they’re unable to for various reasons (we could do another whole post on this) - do their views not matter as they’re not “tax payers”?

So many judgey, ignorant people on this thread.

Idk where you live but I have help with access to work due to disability and my driver has an additional needs school contract in the mornings. He tells me that the kids disabilities often means that they just can't go but he gets paid half anyway and he goes off to his taxi rank so no biggie.

Just wanted to add I have non verbal disabled child and she has a mini bus company that takes her to school. She has children at school who are medically disabled my child is cognitively and there is no way anyone on here would say ir being unreasonable if they didn't go in so they have no right to say ur being unreasonable, people who have no experience of any SN just doesn't understand I've learnt and it's rubbish. And people can be so judgmental and unfair.

Like any business, he’s annoyed that at late notice he’s losing income. Bit like cancelling a reservation for dinner, 20 minutes before the booking. His income relies on a schoolboy sleeping in or not. Another driver will feel the same after a few times.

I would disagree I would label it emotional blackmail he is telling her he wouldn't be able to pay bills. That is highly unprofessional. That taxi driver needs to not be taxiing SN people in his taxi , it is fact sometime a child/adult wouldn't be able to use the service . The blame should not be placed on the parent and he has no right to complain to the point of trying to make the parent feel guilty in trying to get them not to cancel. Which he is doing with what he is saying. I would definitely call council and get another driver.

Some of the people posting ignorant nonsense on this thread should be ashamed of themselves.

No, @AmberAndAlexsMum, YANBU. And no one who has an ounce of decency or kindness in them would suggest that it’s your fault if your child with very significant SEN doesn’t feel up to going to school every day. Keep being you, sounds like you are doing a grand job.

His income relies on a disabled child being fit for school…

If the child is ill too often then he should be taking it up with his employer. Not the child’s family

Not comparable at all!!
He shouldn't be "annoyed" at a mum of a disabled person.
An ops son is not a schoolboy simply sleeping in he is a young adult with complex need who has sleep disruption as part of his SEN.
The taxi driver is cashing in on a lucrative contract and part of that contract means the person needing transport might be unable to go regularly.

Get a grip on here !! The taxi driver can go and find another fare.

I am betting - and hoping - that you haven’t bothered to read the whole thread.

I'll be honest and say I haven't read all the thread but as someone who had been in this position here's my advice. The taxi driver/company have a contract with the council, they will have put in a tender and won the contract. If the driver has a problem he can go to his boss or the council. This is not your problem. Contact the transport team at the council. The council may be receiving other complaints and may choose not to renew the contract with the same company the next school year. They can also check the company are checking their stickers. If he is like this with you he may be like it with other more vulnerable. I'm assuming there's a chaperone but state you don't want to leave your vulnerable child with this man and that he is making you uncomfortable.

Of course it’s not emotional blackmail. It’s someone expressing their annoyance that agreed plans have changed and letting you know how it impacts them. If I booked a builder to come at 3pm and at 2.30pm text to say ‘sorry not convenient’ of course he’s going to say ‘I’ve now lost an afternoons work!’ That’s not emotional blackmail. It’s the truth. It’s a fact. It’s exactly the same.

Emotional blackmail? The poor man has bills to pay like the rest of us, but however he should ask to come off this fare if it is affecting him.

Fuck me there’s some people with poor reading comprehension and general stupidity on this thread.

But it's not at all the same.
The op is not the party the taxi driver has a contract with, it's the council.
So he can go and moan to them.
Anyone with common sense would know that a person with SEN might not be able to attend regularly and use some empathy.

FFS. IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THIS IN THIS CASE. The local autority pay a yearly contract with the taxi company. The OP does not book the taxi herself it is provided by the LA who do not deduct days when the child is ill as they are paying for exclusive use of the taxi at those times every day. The driver probably works for a company who arte not passing on the money on the days OPs son is ill. But I can guarantee you the LA are paying the taxi company.

Autistic children and adults are known to not sleep as much as typical people. That is a really unfortunate nature of the condition. So ur comment is unfortunately ignorant. Wow this thread has angered me as a parent of disabled child who has a 'tax payer's' transport to her special school.

ask Him what the solution is?

text back

what is the solution to this problem that you face?