Taxi driver emotionally blackmailing me

[AmberAndAlexsMum]

Sounds drastic I know, but my ds (17) goes to an SEN college, which is 25 miles away. He gets a taxi, paid for by the council, to take him and bring him back.

Now ds has severe sleep issues, he's had all his life, and sometimes he simply cannot sleep at night and ends up too exhausted to go in. If this happens I always text the driver as early as possible.

Over the last 6 months or so, every time I've texted him to say ds isn't going in, he's responded by complaining that he's losing money as he only gets paid when the kids go in.

I appreciate that, but surely he doesn't have the right to emotionally blackmail me? He knows I'm empathic and don't like causing problems, but I'm beginning to think that he is deliberately doing this.

AIBU to expect him to accept that ds can't always go to college? I've had no problems with previous drivers and I always make sure to let them know before they leave home.

I think that you need to speak to the social worker involved and suggest that the taxi driver is upsetting you. There is no need for him to moan at you. If you tell him that he is not needed then he can tell the company that he is available for hire, end of.

OP, I would ask the LA for a new taxi driver. You need to be confident you can cancel if there is a problem without feeling guilty.

Additionally, I would ask you GP to refer your son to a consultant to prescribe melatonin. Lots of children who are on the autistic spectrum or who have ADHD (type 1 and 2), my son included, have this prescribed to help with a better sleep cycle.

Sorry, I don't know why my post is so spaced out!

Can I ask, Op, did you have any trouble maintaining funding for lifts after 16? A friend is currently going through PIP for the same and it seems really tricky.

Apologies, I quoted the wrong one.

Last sentence.
Alternatively, he is 17, get him his licence and a DLA car.

The local authority should have a policy for over 16s.

it seems often they don’t know their own policies so your friend needs to find that and quote the relevant bits back at them.

Tbf I'd be pissed off. The company should have a policy in place where the driver still gets paid a percentage. Many businesses take full payment with less than 24 hours cancellation notice. You should have sympathy if this happened regularly this is a serious loss of income, imagine how you'd feel if it happened to you

@1DoesNotSimplyWalkIntoMordor

Emmmm

That was from my initial post which was blunt and curt… which I explained is because I am autistic and sometimes do a shit job with what I’m trying to say!

I further explained my point in later posts in more detail and more options….

Is there any need to nit pick?

Absolutely this. Request another driver who is made fully aware of your circumstances.
Also I work for a taxi firm that does social care movements and we would still charge for late notice cancellations as per the contract. Obviously your particular driver could work under different conditions.

Definitely get your friend to check the policy.
Ds is 18 and gets free LA taxi transport to his specialist placement.
He also gets enhanced mobility PIP payments.

Gosh OP - no advice (except to agree with PPs that you should refer him to the taxi firm and ignore) but it has made me think about my situation.

My children get picked up by taxi because we live down a quiet lane with no bus service. The service has got worse since covid as they apparently have no drivers - my two are picked up at 7.45 for an 8.30 start at a school ten minutes drive away. When I complained they said it's the best they can do, as they have other and younger children to collect and no drivers. Same after school - my two wait outside in all weathers for half an hour. Not ideal but it is what it is.

(Yes - I could drive them myself but they are entitled to a school bus or equivalent. I always drove them to primary school which was further away, but for secondary I don't see the need).

Often they have after school clubs and I phone to cancel the pm pick up, and sometimes if I am in town I will cancel and collect the kids myself anyway.

I have always assumed the taxi firm would be delighted as I am easing the pressure on them, given their lack of drivers. Now I wonder if they're peed off as they might be losing money. I suppose I assumed the council paid a fixed amount rather than than a day by day charge? Does anyone know? How would the council even know if I have cancelled a collection? It seems unnecessarily bureaucratic to add up each exact trip - but perhaps that is how it works......

Its unprofessional of him to mention it to you. It’s part and parcel of the contract that his employers have with the council and not uncommon with children and young people with complex needs.

Next time he mentions say politely “I’m sorry but you really need to take this up with your bosses…. Perhaps they could swap you to another contract but it’s really not something that in my control as obviously I would love for my son to sleep better and have better attendance but this is just the way it is ”

I'd put a complaint in. His clients have special educational needs, often they can't attend and often don't know until the morning. Send evidence to the school and get a new driver.

It’s really unprofessional of him to contact you and complain he’s losing money, that’s unacceptable. That’s also the nature of the job, especially when driving kids with SEN. Nobody is forcing him to do it. If I were you I’d ask for another driver. I’m assuming your DS has a disability of some sort and if poor sleep is something he suffers from then he can’t help it. You are courteous enough to text him to advise as early as possible. You shouldn’t be worrying about the driver, I’m sure you worry enough about your son.

@StaunchMomma it was extremely tricky getting post 16 transport, even though public transport in this area is totally unreliable and he couldn't even get to college using it.

But a major part of his autism (apart from the sleep thing) is his inability to identify danger so he has been known to just walk into the road without looking up, so he always needs someone with him. That helped because adding that to unbelievably shitty public transport sealed the deal.

It still took a lot of explaining to get it sorted. Really stressful and it made me ill for a while with the worry. But it got sorted eventually.

You’re so unbelievably rude. However, if you’re going to be a smart ass then surely you should have put a comma after “thickos” and before “clever clogs”.

Are you not able to take DS yourself?

I don’t think the taxi driver should have messaged you but I get why he’s frustrated that he’s losing money.

However, he should just say that he cannot do DS anymore and get a student who is more reliable.

It is quite common to change taxi drivers whether it’s at the taxi drivers request or the student/parent/school.
So I think it’s fine that you do that.

Maybe it’s time to request a different driver. It’s hard enough for you to manage and you must yourself be shattered… the last thing you need is to dread texting the driver.
Either that or text back and simply say ‘thank you for being so understanding!!’

It should come into the arrangement with the cab firm. If it’s a direct deal with you and cab firm I think a last minute cancellation is to be paid for. By you. But it needs to be clarified with can firm

'If it’s a direct deal with you and cab firm I think a last minute cancellation is to be paid for. By you'

It is NOT a direct deal with the cab firm. It is a local authority contract to transport a disabled young person to their educational establishment. All parents do is make an application for transport (and in some cases for older young people make a contribution....we don't have to but some do). Parents may have the drivers number for communication purposes, but it the local authority who arrange all the transportation. There are no 'direct deals' between parents with cab firms or taxi drivers for SEN transport that the LA provide.

You are completely right but by complaining you could cause him to be fired. I had to complain about a taxi driver who was verbally sexually harassing me. He lost his job.

Stewball I think it’s good that driver was fired. It’s completely unacceptable, especially for a taxi driver who needs to keep people safe. OP’s driver is a bit different as his comments weren’t sexual or abusive - however they are still unprofessional and unfair and have made OP uncomfortable. He needs to be aware of that. OP is entitled to want a different driver.

I agree that cancelling an appointment is hard on someone who is trying to make a living, but gets cancelled without having time to rebook, my dentist charges £25 if they don't get 24 hours notice. The OP is between a rick and a hard place, the frequency of the cancellationscould be a major factor, it does sound that it's quite a frequent occurrence.

You have no idea how transport works for SEN. The council pays for the taxi on a contract basis, it’s not possible to book them yourself as a parent.

surely this is part and parcel of being self employed?
mid be inclined to remind Mr taxi man that your son is your priority and if it’s not working out for him you’ll find a new driver.
last thing you want is him moaning to your son.