Taxi driver emotionally blackmailing me

[AmberAndAlexsMum]

Sounds drastic I know, but my ds (17) goes to an SEN college, which is 25 miles away. He gets a taxi, paid for by the council, to take him and bring him back.

Now ds has severe sleep issues, he's had all his life, and sometimes he simply cannot sleep at night and ends up too exhausted to go in. If this happens I always text the driver as early as possible.

Over the last 6 months or so, every time I've texted him to say ds isn't going in, he's responded by complaining that he's losing money as he only gets paid when the kids go in.

I appreciate that, but surely he doesn't have the right to emotionally blackmail me? He knows I'm empathic and don't like causing problems, but I'm beginning to think that he is deliberately doing this.

AIBU to expect him to accept that ds can't always go to college? I've had no problems with previous drivers and I always make sure to let them know before they leave home.

This is not emotional blackmail. 🙄

25 miles in a taxi is a decent chunk of money so I don't blame him for being annoyed, but frankly you should be telling him to take it up with his boss.

So you've conveniently refused to say how often you cancel and have decided to essentially punish the driver by demanding a different one.

Not very kind.

It will be an LA contract, rather than being paid individual days, surely?

Ds also has SEN and gets a taxi provided by the LA to his specialist college. And yes we've had plenty of times that the driver has turned up and he's not gone in. Those criticising that, obviously have no understanding of what life can be like for families of children with disabilities. Many of the times we have phoned the LA early to cancel, but it's not got through to the driver.
I would contact the LA transport department to let them know your concerns.

And the pp who suggested
"At 17 he’s old enough to understand that his actions can affect someone else". I'm assuming you don't have much experience of young people with complex additional needs?

So you've conveniently refused to say how often you cancel and have decided to essentially punish the driver by demanding a different one. Not very kind.

What an unpleasant comment to make

OP yanbu

its between the taxi company and the local authority to negotiate contracts, payments and cancellation terms and conditions. It doesn’t matter how often the OP has to cancel and if it does matter that’s between the OP and the local authority.

I sometime provide services for local authority if I cancel I don’t get paid if client cancels with less than 24 hours notice I get paid. More than 24 hours notice I don’t get paid but often have time to book in something else. It tends to balance out over time if a contract didn’t then I’d be free to not renew it as is the taxi driver. That how businesses work.

Yes that's out of order.

Should you even be texting each other anyway? Is that the system?

I think its fair enough for him to point out once factually that he's only paid when you use the service. Any more than that and I'd tell him he is free to find a other job.

How many times was it?

Ds is autistic,( used to be called Aspergers, and now, apparently, is neurodivergent.) He has had these sleep issues all of his life and will probably have them for the rest of his life.

He has an EHCP and was in a special school before college. The college have stated that if he is too tired he must not come in. (School just let him sleep in the comfort room)

Since September we've probably cancelled the taxi, due to exhaustion, 4 times. He's had time off for sickness as well.

The driver has already stated he is going to contact the council, I promised to do the same.

I'm too tired for conflict, If ds is awake I am too as he feels the need to make sure I'm all right several times a night 😁

@LaLuz7 it doesn’t matter how often she cancels! If her son isn’t fit to go into college, he isn’t fit, whether it’s the first time in a month or the 3rd time that week! What do you expect her to do, tell her son that he’s got to go in, even if he’s not well, just to make sure the taxi driver gets paid?
The taxi drivers pay structure is not the OPs concern. Her son is obviously provided the transport via council funding, and they have contracted the job out to a taxi firm, the taxi firm and drivers know they are transporting people with SEN needs, and all the uncertainties that go along with that diagnosis.
The driver is out of order OP, you need to complain.

I'm with @Zanatdy. The driver is losing money and it's too short notice for him to get another job. I think it's down to you and your son to come up with a plan to ensure he gets to school every day.
There is no emotional blackmail. You might be feeling guilty but the driver is simply pointing out that he's losing money when you cancel.

Oh shush 🤫

If there are issues to do with attendance that's not for the taxi driver to be involved in by telling the family about the pressures on them.

Well he is only stating a fact. It is not emotional blackmail.

Sometimes people may say things but they are not setting out to blackmail you.

Did you miss the part about her son having complex additional needs and sometimes struggling to get any sleep due to those additional SEN needs?

Do you work OP?

How would you feel? Similarly how would you feel if the lift cancelled at short notice?

Surely tell him to take it up with the taxi company as they will be paid for the service irrespective. It's then between him and them.

You do realise that the OPs son is ND and has SEN? You do realise that “plans” are very often impossible with such diagnosis, and that is the reason why OPs son has an EHCP and has transport provided by the LA. If it was as simple as them making a plan and executing it, then the ECHP and transport wouldn’t be needed in the first place.

READ the OP??

The son has complex needs at an SEN college and sleep issues...

Have you much experience of caring for a young person with additional needs? It's much more complex than* *
"come up with a plan to ensure he gets to school every day"

That's very unprofessional and inappropriate of him, what does he expect you to do about it? You're right to request a different driver.

I'm sympathetic with the driver as he is right, he is loosing income when you cancel, but cancelling 4 times since September isn't unreasonable under the circumstances. Most nt people would just have to cancel once or twice a year due to illness etc.
He isn't going to be able to fill your son's slot with short notice, but maybe his contract is to blame.
Are tax payers really paying for a 25 mile taxi ride twice a day, 5 days a week? Can the school not put on a minibus, it seems a very inefficient waste of money.

This is something that is out of your control. The council have given him an unfair contract which places all the risk with him but expect him to always be available. I'd sympathise with him along these lines. It's not your fault or your kids fault, it's about the crap contract the council have given him.
I work with a lot of sessional university lecturers and their situation is the same. Demand for courses varies and if there aren't enough students signed up by the week before the module it gets cancelled and the lecturer gets no pay (despite having prepared all the material). It's shit but it's not the students fault.

Utter rubbish. This is not the OP’s problem.

Perhaps you’ll be suggesting that bus and train drivers should get paid according to the number of passengers they carry? 😆

The taxi driver has a contract with the council. If he expects to be paid when he’s not driving a passenger, he needs to re-negotiate his contract with the council. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Zanatdy @Yerroblemom1923 This is not a taxi the OP has prebooked herself. The is transport provided by the local council for children with additional needs so they can access education. This driver was allocated to OP's son by them. OP is not the client. The coucil are. It is extremely inappropriate to discuss this with the OP.

@Alexandernevermind My daughter gets a funded taxi to school and back every day 5 days a week . She is 7. It is a 60 mile round trip. This is the only SEN school near us. She also has an escort with her, again provided by the council. SEN provision is really poor in this country in terms of the amount of SEN schools.

He has a contract with the council, if I was him I would cancel the contract as he’s losing money. Your son being too tired to get out of bed is costing him money. The council can then find another taxi driver for you until he gets fed up with not being paid. The contract works both ways tbh. I assume the driver brings him home too, so he’s losing two jobs a day which makes you being unreasonable. You would feel different if YOU had to pay out of your pocket!

Some of the comments on this thread are just so typical of people not having a clue what it’s like to have a disabled child.

Definitely speak to the council @AmberAndAlexsMum. If he has an issue with his contract terms he needs to take it up with his employer.

My DD is on her 7th hospital admission of the school year and her taxi driver has never said anything other than hoping she’s better soon.

It’s just part of life with contracts transporting children with health issues.