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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or him: Car broke down

112 replies

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:46

Husband hit a pot hole near his work about 45 mine away from home and burst a tyre. No harm beyond that and he pulled into a large, safe stopping place to ait for recovery. e doesn't have a spare - been meaning to get one but never got around to it.
The breakdown peopel are really busy and 1hr15mins later still haven't got someone out.
He wants me to go and pick him up so he doesn't have to wait and let the recovery peoek bring the car bac when they have time, but that will mean a 2 x 50 min trip for me to get him, I have made arrangements to be somewhere soon and I have also already done a full day at work plus 2 hours of house chores and pet care for us.
AIBU to tell him to just hang on and wait rather than us both have to spend hours dealing with this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:46

Sorry for spelling - dodgy keyboard!

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 03/01/2023 18:48

up to you but if they are busy he will be low priority.
who is your breakdown people

Looneytune253 · 03/01/2023 18:48

Does he mean just to bring him home and they'll will deal with it themselves? Or that you bring him home the take him back up? If it's just to bring him home yabvvu

thehistorymum · 03/01/2023 18:49

I would want my DH to come and get me in those circumstances depending on where he had planned to be

Ginandtoner · 03/01/2023 18:49

He could find a mobile tyre repair place might be quicker

Brefugee · 03/01/2023 18:50

I wouldn't fetch him either. And now he has learned why you should carry a spare ready to put on when you need it.

RandomMess · 03/01/2023 18:50

He will still need to be there to meet the recovery people!

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:50

mobile tyre places are all closed, the recovery I can't remember the name but its' the one where they find a local person and send them out, so not AA or RAC.

OP posts:
ChippyTea16 · 03/01/2023 18:51

I think it all depends on what you’d want him to do if the roles were reversed. Personally I’d go and get my husband as he’d do the same for me but you did also say you already have plans so I’d factor that in depending on what they are

Astralitzia · 03/01/2023 18:51

I can't imagine leaving my partner stranded for an unknown period of time (which could be hours and hours based on my most recent experience of a breakdown) on a dark rainy evening when I could bring him home, nor could I imagine my partner leaving me stranded! Surely this is the sort of thing you do for each other in a caring relationship?

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:51

If it was me I woudl just wait I woudl not expect him to get me. If it got sily - liek 4 hours or something that's different. What if they turn up when I get there, or just before?

OP posts:
IamSmarticus · 03/01/2023 18:52

I doubt a recovery company will deal with a broken down car (burst tyre or otherwise) and then take the car home for the owner, without him being there.

Plus it's sods law that says they will turn up to rescue him just as you arrive Grin

Willmafrockfit · 03/01/2023 18:53

dh waited 11 hours last week
but that may have been exceptionally bad.

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:53

He's not an invalid - all he has to do is sit there and wait, he's not in danger just bored.

OP posts:
SharksInTheTea · 03/01/2023 18:53

It's not the effort of going to get him that would bother me - I'd do that in a heartbeat. It's that the recovery people will not handle an abandoned car within the owner present, I don't think.

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:54

I would not let him stay there for 11 hours, but just after 1 hour for me to drop everythig and get him and cancel my plans?

OP posts:
PinkyFlamingo · 03/01/2023 18:54

But he needs to be with the car for the breakdown people?

somuchtolearnabout · 03/01/2023 18:55

You haven't confirmed if the recovery people will deal with the car without him there? Presumably not. In which case there's your excuse.

Ninjapot · 03/01/2023 18:55

He needs to be there anyway. They won't take it unless it is.

pjmasksitsthepjmasks · 03/01/2023 18:55

Tell him to wait. It won't kill him and he's not a child. Maybe he'll pull his finger out and sort a spare out now he's been inconvenienced?...

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:56

Apparently not - they said he can leave a key hudden (so said the call centre) but what if that's not right - muggins will we driving him back over again and waiting with him!

It's not that I don't care about him but it's the expectation I must drop everything because he doesn't want to wait. I will already have to forgo my car tomorrow while his is being fixed.

OP posts:
Blossomandbee · 03/01/2023 18:56

I agree surely someone needs to stay with the car?
Could he walk to work from where he is? Recovery people usually call or text when they're on their way to you so he could leave it there and walk back to it when they arrive?

bumbledeedum · 03/01/2023 18:56

Echoing PP, he needs to stay with the vehicle or the recovery company will cancel the job and may not re-attend. Can't believe how many people would need rescuing, it's only been an hour so far at not even 7pm!

MavisMcMinty · 03/01/2023 18:57

Make him wait fir recovery, the impatient pranny.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 03/01/2023 18:57

He needs to stay with the car. Yes, it's boring having to wait for recovery but that's life.