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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or him: Car broke down

112 replies

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 18:46

Husband hit a pot hole near his work about 45 mine away from home and burst a tyre. No harm beyond that and he pulled into a large, safe stopping place to ait for recovery. e doesn't have a spare - been meaning to get one but never got around to it.
The breakdown peopel are really busy and 1hr15mins later still haven't got someone out.
He wants me to go and pick him up so he doesn't have to wait and let the recovery peoek bring the car bac when they have time, but that will mean a 2 x 50 min trip for me to get him, I have made arrangements to be somewhere soon and I have also already done a full day at work plus 2 hours of house chores and pet care for us.
AIBU to tell him to just hang on and wait rather than us both have to spend hours dealing with this?

OP posts:
Lockheart · 03/01/2023 20:50

So your family is down a few hundred pounds unecessarily? I'm not sure this is the win you think it is.

babynoname22 · 03/01/2023 20:51

I would go and get him. I think you're being harsh. If it was the other way round I would want my DH to come and get me

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:51

Confusion101 · 03/01/2023 20:49

Don't understand this "it was only a flat tyre" chat.... He had no spare, he couldn't go anywhere, the severity of the breakdown doesn't really make much difference unless the car was on fire or something. I think it was unreasonable to not go to him, if a thread had been reversed and the hubby was choosing to go out instead of going to the wife everyone would be saying LTB. But you don't think you are unreasonable, he got sorted, so that's that!

I do agree actually that there would be plenty of LTBs if it was the other way around.... Interesting isn't it. I guess women are more/very vulnerable

OP posts:
bellac11 · 03/01/2023 20:51

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:49

😂he was there for an hour and a half with a full tank, Give over. The tyre peope got there before I could have anyway,

Show quote history

But he must have kept the engine idling, which was my point. Hes not allowed to do that on a public road

whatdoidonowffs · 03/01/2023 20:51

Be wary some companies would class that as an accident not a breakdown and charge you £300 for getting you home

whatdoidonowffs · 03/01/2023 20:51

Be wary some companies would class that as an accident not a breakdown and charge you £300 for getting you home

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:52

babynoname22 · 03/01/2023 20:51

I would go and get him. I think you're being harsh. If it was the other way round I would want my DH to come and get me

Fair enough. We obviously have a differnet relationship tho as he is not cross with me and I am not guilty that I did not go.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:53

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 20:51

But he must have kept the engine idling, which was my point. Hes not allowed to do that on a public road

Show quote history

Not allowed to do what? Keep the engine running on the road?

OP posts:
Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:55

Lockheart · 03/01/2023 20:50

So your family is down a few hundred pounds unecessarily? I'm not sure this is the win you think it is.

No HE is a couple of hundred down - we have our own, separate money. His choice not to wait.

OP posts:
Shade17 · 03/01/2023 20:55

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 20:46

How was he warm in the car. You only stay warm if you keep the engine idling and the heating on. But eventually the car will run out of petrol

With a full tank he would’ve probably had 48+hrs of idling time!

Lockheart · 03/01/2023 20:55

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:53

Not allowed to do what? Keep the engine running on the road?

Show quote history

Yes. Stationary idling is illegal.

www.webuyanycar.com/guides/car-ownership/leave-your-car-running-idling/

www.confused.com/car-insurance/guides/fines-for-idling

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:58

Lockheart · 03/01/2023 20:55

Show quote history

Well maybe he could have gotten himself arrested and brought home by the police. Win win for us all.
Do you seriously think police are going to arrest him for idling in a layby on an a road with a flat tyre? You'd be lucky to see a police car all night let alone ones with tiem to arrest broken down men in laybys.
You are really clutching at straws here

OP posts:
Confusion101 · 03/01/2023 20:58

Well maybe he could have gotten himself arrested and brought home by the police. Win win for us all.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Next time just ring them on him

Lockheart · 03/01/2023 20:59

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:58

Well maybe he could have gotten himself arrested and brought home by the police. Win win for us all.
Do you seriously think police are going to arrest him for idling in a layby on an a road with a flat tyre? You'd be lucky to see a police car all night let alone ones with tiem to arrest broken down men in laybys.
You are really clutching at straws here

Show quote history

You asked a question and I answered with supporting evidence.

It's not an arrestable offense, as you'd know if you'd looked at the links. FPNs are issued instead.

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 21:01

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:53

Not allowed to do what? Keep the engine running on the road?

Show quote history

Yes, idling is illegal on a public road. I noticed it because you said he was warm in the car and the only way he could have been warm in the car is to keep the heating on and the battery wouldnt keep going that long so he must have had the engine on

On the other hand perhaps he didnt and was actually cold in the car.

either way you sound harsh and defensive about his experience.

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 21:02

Shade17 · 03/01/2023 20:55

With a full tank he would’ve probably had 48+hrs of idling time!

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Yes thats true. I just had in mind the nightmare I had once on a terrible motorway delay and ran out of petrol even though I hadnt moved very far!

WineAndDontDine · 03/01/2023 21:03

Snorkers · 03/01/2023 20:55

No HE is a couple of hundred down - we have our own, separate money. His choice not to wait.

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Jesus christ leave the poor guy so he can find someone without your self serving attitude

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 21:04

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 21:01

Yes, idling is illegal on a public road. I noticed it because you said he was warm in the car and the only way he could have been warm in the car is to keep the heating on and the battery wouldnt keep going that long so he must have had the engine on

On the other hand perhaps he didnt and was actually cold in the car.

either way you sound harsh and defensive about his experience.

Show quote history

Well he idled away and committed an offence. Maybe I will call the police myself because GOD FORBID he didn't turn his engine off to obey the law that literally not a fucking single soul even knew about let alone cared..

He sat in a car for 1.5 hours in the warm reading the news. That was the traumatic extent of 'his experiences' that i am so cold about. He is on his way home via some grot and is abasolutely A-OK

However I can totally see why you would need rescuing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 21:06

WineAndDontDine · 03/01/2023 21:03

Jesus christ leave the poor guy so he can find someone without your self serving attitude

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Leave him? Yes judge - want a divorce because we have our own money, I d all the cleaning and pet care and I left him having to sit in a car for 1.5 hours. I am the world's WORST wife and I should be strung up.

Okaaaaay then. Not even slightly OTT.

OP posts:
bellac11 · 03/01/2023 21:07

Wow, you're really unpleasant and rude. Im out.

BanjoVio · 03/01/2023 21:08

Not a clue why you bothered asking this question if you’re so convinced you’re in the right and are just going get riled up and jump on anyone who dares to disagree with you.

Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 21:11

I don't mind disagreement but I won't sit here and be told I should leave him because we keep our own wages and I am not paying for his new tyre. 🙄

Anyway I am off done with this now my husband will be home soon 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Snorkers · 03/01/2023 21:11

bellac11 · 03/01/2023 21:07

Wow, you're really unpleasant and rude. Im out.

Goodbye!

OP posts:
PinotPony · 03/01/2023 21:12

Gosh, you're rather bolshy... any need to be so defensive?

Emmamoo89 · 03/01/2023 21:18

Ignore the negative comments. I found you can't win with some people on here lol