Not to see in-laws over this

[atsoftplay]

I have been married coming up to 9 years and have a 3 month baby.
When I met dh his sister was incredibly hostile to me and has never accepted me, after years of her unfriendliness which has got worse since ds was born I decided I didn't need her in my life and would go no contact.
However here's the predicament, dh parents won't see me unless I see his sister as they feel I'm excluding her and they come as a family or not at all and dh won't see his DP without me as he says we come as a family too or not at all.

I now feel it's down to me to tolerate his sister so he can have a relationship with his DP although he says he'd happily go no contact if I don't want to see them which makes me feel guilty that it's all down to me.
I genuinely don't wish to have a relationship with his sister but nor do I want to be the reason they don't have contact either which has devastated his sister but dh isn't bothered because he can see how she treats me.
So aibu to have no contact with sil despite the consequences for the rest of the family I have suggested dh see them without me but he won't budge saying if I don't want to go WE won't. Battling with conscience here.

Why can’t you and DH and baby drop in spontaneously on PIL when SIL isn’t there. Then you don’t have to make an issue out of going no contact with SIL.
If SIL then complains she hasn’t seen you, you can agree to pop in for half a hour on the understanding that any unpleasantness or shouting and swearing will result in you leaving immediately never to return

Fair play to your husband for putting you first! They are just making problems for you. If your husband isn't bothered don't feel guilty.

ZOMBIE THREAD

All sounds very dramatic on all sides. Most people have family members they are not keen on. They usually adopt a civil but distant approach.

Go no contact with them all and be free of it all
Family is overrated.
Just share your lives with the people you choose.

ColdHandsHotHead zombie thread?