Friend asking me to sign an NDA

[Shinebrightinthenight]

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

Yes this is what everyone appears to be missing.

"I once had an affair with Kevin in HR" isn't confidential, because apart from anything else, Kevin knows about it!

"I am going to be on Eastenders" might be until you actually appear on it/are announced as being a new character. Although she shouldn't say anything herself if that is the case.

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

I have a VERY famous friend. We’ve been mates for almost 30 years and before they were famous. Of course our friendship is private and I would never tell the press anything about them.

BUT one of our friend group from the early days did. It wasn’t anything major but was pretty personal and something they didn’t want to share with the rest of the world. Following this we were all asked to sign NDAs and I happily agreed. It didn’t change our relationship one bit but if gave them reassurance that we were true friends and could be trusted. Don’t underestimate how much having private information shared publicly can impact on someone’s life when people they thought they were friends turn out not to be.

I have been offered six figures to spill the beans. Some people have a price at which they can be bought. I value my friendship more.

Although I guess your friend is more likely going on a reality TV show where the production team want control over the narrative. Or she’s won the lottery. Either way if you sign the NDA then you can find out 😂😂😂

Just say no. You are not being unreasonable.

Yep.

Not that uncommon.
My friend once got a very high profile celeb pregnant. She made him sign a NDA and had a termination. She said if he spoke to anyone, he'd never work again (he worked in the media at the time).

@EarthSight
Not bullshit no sadly....

There are scores of people with established careers who have had lifelong, since childhood friends get persuaded to sell out their "friends".

The "friend" has 5 minutes of negative press and perhaps changes which pub they drink in for a bit. The "celebrity" may never work again, so it's a very real but yes very sad requirement for certain areas of public life . The system is bullshit and certainly how it's allowed to work, it would though be quite wrong to call bs on the existence (or need) for these agreements it's just a sad fact these days. Horrid.

She's not asking you to sign Secular 🤣

Surely a friend confiding something in you that you leaking to the press could destroy their reputation would mean you're the one with the loaded gun

Are you very wealthy?

Not much pointing suing someone for breach of an NDA if they have no money ...

Surely an NDA is a contract that is only enforceable if there is proper consideration. What consideration would there be in the OP's case? In consideration of our continued friendship? Would that be sufficient? Or is there a token payment of a pound or something?

I wouldn't sign it. If the friendship ends, so be it. I might feel differently if it was a long friendship and my friend explained the rationale/circumstances.

Unless I had the funds to defend myself for a potential breach of contract then I wouldn't make myself financially vulnerable

How did friend put this across to you OP, and what did friend say would happen if you didnt sign it ? Have other friends signed that you know of. I would not be signing anything , why would you .

It's up to them if they want to hand me that power. It's up to me if I want to hand them the power to punish me.

The OP hasn't done anything wrong is asking MN for advice. What would be wrong is if she'd come here and named the friend. She hasn't. No one's anonymity has been compromised here.

She’s coming across as an absolutely arsehole in that story.

and it clearly hasn’t prevented you from learning of it.

I hope the high ptofile celeb isn't reading this then, since your friend clearly broke the terms of the NDA... 🤣

In all seriousness, wouldn't it have been in celebrities' best interest not to divulge anything about the pregnancy as he wouldn't have known anyway surely?

@TheYummyPatler yep he was really upset about it at the time.
My point was it's not uncommon.

@TennisLBow

DoubleShotEspresso
I think NDA's are far more common than many here realise....
FWIW I've signed many of these in business previously and with people who became friends, it's really only a sinister task if you intend to ever breach their friendship, loyalty and trust. If this is being asked if you, you can be sure there's a firm reason your friend needs this.*

What if they breached friendship and trust though?
I'd only sign it if she signed one for you.

Just kidding, i'd never be able to be friends with someone who'd ask this, I'd be shocked and then have a giggle about them with my real friends.

You'd be foolish to sign anything, what if she tells you something that you really do want to talk about with others? She'd have the upper hand. Never.

Now please give us a clue who this self important semi celebrity is🙏

Well if it's at all likely you'd "want to talk about your friend to others" an NDA is a wise request no? They'd only have the upper hand as you call it after you'd done considerable damage and broken their trust. That's not a friend!

I've no idea who the celebrity is it's not my thread! (Though I've narrowed it down to a handful in my head reading the OP!)

@B1993 I guess they discussed it first then her agent advised her to do it. She was loaded. Very high profile indeed. I think he was quite shocked tbh.

To intimidate friends then?
Because if you would not sue them why bother having an NDA?

Surely if you don't sign it nothing happens? To be honest if someone waved something like this in my face it would be the end of any friendship. Quite funny they think they are that newsworthy, I bet it's some z lister off a reality program who no one would have even heard of.

@LetsDoThis2023 I can understand why she would not want that made public. But it did involve him too. To stop someone talking to anyone about how his GF got pregnant and had a termination is I think wrong.

At a guess, there is something big about to be broken about her. Or that she suspects will be reported widely. Pregnant by someone shocking or along those lines. Something big. She needs to protect herself from everyone. I wouldn't take it personally, it's possible that her lawyers or management are making her do this. Maybe speak to her about her reasons, ask her to help you understand.

Someone we all thought was a friend tried to cash in when we discovered a mutual friend was actually high profile (long story to as to how we didn't know!). It didn't work (part of the long story!), but you just never know who can be tempted by a pocket full of cash. And by letting one person off signing it, others will try and avoid signing. These things have to be everyone or no one if that makes sense.

What I would do actually is sign it to cover yourself, but then pull away and ask not to know about anything about the person, or be involved. That's just how I would handle it. To me they don't trust you, but cover yourself !