Friend asking me to sign an NDA

[Shinebrightinthenight]

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

Under no circumstances would I sign this and I'm surprised the number of people here suggesting it's no big deal. (Or am I that surprised this country is full of the gullible, lacking in critical thinking and fame hungry?)

There are no benefits in it for the OP. There is a massive risk. If it was enforced you would need a minimum six figure sum to defend it.

I work in the film industry and sign NDAs all the time. Any sensible lawyer would advise you never to sign a legal document unless absolutely necessary.

Did she get married in Vegas on Hogmanay and wants to keep it out the press? 🤣

Have you asked your friend why she wants you to sign it?

I would never sell a story or information about a friend, and I'd hope a friend would never feel the need to ask me to sign something to stop me from doing so.

I'd find it hard to continue a friendship if they didn't trust me to the point they wanted an NDA.

But then if I didn't sign it and something got leaked, would I be prime suspect? Would it protect me as much as them?

Out of principle I'd want to say no purely because they should know me and trust me.

I don't know.

It depends on who they are and why they want it.

@Onnabugeisha The point is an NDA is useless without willingness to take court enforcement. Most of the time when someone sells a story or leaks information the celebrity will not know 100% who did that, they will be guessing. So they can easily guess wrong and take you to court even though you are innocent. It will still cost to defend that court action. Why should anyone ordinary without much money take that risk?
You and others are talking as if it is only the celebrity facing risk, but it is not.

This would make me uncomfortable too, OP.

If she doesn't trust to you to keep your gob shut or not to be tempted to sell stories for financial gain, why would she want to be your friend?

All very strange and more than a bit up-her-own-arse-ish.

I mean, if it was Meghan Markle I might just get it! A minor celeb, absolutely not!

Can you explain this a bit more? How exactly could it be used against you?

What @Testina said. NDAs are contractual and contracts are exchanges.

If you are being accused of something then the onus is on your accuser, the CPS in criminal cases or a Judge in a civil one, to prove you did it.

I'm not that wealthy — if a "celebrity" friend decided to act on an NDA I'd signed, I'd probably lose everything I have, just from the cost of legal representation, whether I'd blabbed or not. If they don't trust me enough to be friends with me without the threat of legal action to hold over me, I don't trust them enough not to ruin me.

This ^

Celebrities choose their lifestyle. It isn't reasonable to expect other people to put themselves in a vulnerable position on account of it! Certain 'journalists' are very good at tricking information out of people - signing an NDA exposes the OP from doing something that might not be entirely her fault.

OP's friend will have to learn to keep her own counsel about things she doesn't want to end up in the papers.
Id never gossip to a paper about a friend, but equally I'd never sign a NDA either. If I had a famous friend, they would have to take it on trust or not.

Yes it is but you still have to pay a lawyer hundreds of thousands of pounds to defend it.

I'm sorry but if my friend didn't trust me enough to not speak about her life without an NDA, I would be wondering if we really have a friendship worth having at all!
She needs to trust the people in her life who find people she can trust in my opinion. Or it's just a way of rubbing in how good she's doing?!

Well if this post is genuine, what, exactly, does the NDA actually forbid you from disclosing? Are you allowed to disclose that you know her for example? An idea of the actual wording would be helpful

What if they breached friendship and trust though?
I'd only sign it if she signed one for you.

Just kidding, i'd never be able to be friends with someone who'd ask this, I'd be shocked and then have a giggle about them with my real friends.

You'd be foolish to sign anything, what if she tells you something that you really do want to talk about with others? She'd have the upper hand. Never.

Now please give us a clue who this self important semi celebrity is🙏

^this

An influencer, per chance?

it's really only a sinister task if you intend to ever breach their friendship, loyalty and trust.

That covers a lot of ground though.

Don’t be a twat

Absolutely this!

@Onnabugeisha so the OP should pay her own solicitor to look over an NDA that she doesn't need and there is no advantage to her in signing? Don't think I would be inclined to do that.

I know it’s not exactly the same thing but I worked for a bank for 16 years and numerous trusted individuals stole large sums via various means. One person I worked alongside for about 5 years and I got to know her very well. Not one person could believe it when the head office inspection team arrived with the police to speak with her. You never know what desperate people would do.

Sounds like she needs to get over herself.

maybe something is going to come out that you are all currently unaware of. I'd be hurt at the unnecessary mistrust.

It does nothing about the ‘vultures’. Merely gives the ‘friend’ legal recourse against you.

were you going to sell stories about her?

@mistermagpie

• DoubleShotEspresso I think NDA's are far more common than many here realise.... FWIW I've signed many of these in business previously and with people who became friends, it's really only a sinister task if you intend to ever breach their friendship, loyalty and trust. If this is being asked if you, you can be sure there's a firm reason your friend needs this.

Are you friends with lots of famous people? Because otherwise I can imagine a 'normal' person getting their friends to sign an NDA is exactly 'common'.

I'm friends with some yes and/or old business acquaintances with some notable/famous or arts/academic folks through my old line of work. I am less involved these days though so every few months get these requests in. It's usually if something is due for rehearse or personal lives develop somehow.

Yes I didn't mean this was at all "normal" for most of us-I fully understand it may feel a bit baffling/insulting to receive from a friend, but honestly these things can be so so damaging almost overnight, the current "cancel culture" a very real fear for many with big tv, entertainments and public roles, books, publishing deals etc.... it's their income and livelihood - all can be ended with a single phone call to a grubby newspaper or via a tweet.

An NDA isn't a reflection on a friendship it's a modern day necessity to survive in a business most of us would detest living within.

Because if you sign the NDA you're handing the friend the power to take you to court for something that she'd otherwise have no power to do anything about.

You might not have said a thing, you might have said something accidentally, you might have deliberately broken the contract because you thought it was the right thing to do (or because you wanted tabloid money and forgot lawyers are expensive). Whichever it is, you could incur massive legal fees and lose everything you've worked a lifetime for — even if you win.

You might trust your friend never to do that to you. But your friend has shown she doesn't trust you unless you give her the power to punish you in court, so why should you trust her not to use that punishment?