Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me to sign an NDA

351 replies

Shinebrightinthenight · 02/01/2023 16:45

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

OP posts:
AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 18:26

Would I willingly create a legal instrument with which someone could sue me and cause irreparable financial damage in case of a misunderstanding? No.

There is no upside for you in this.

AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 18:27

BookwormButNoTime · 02/01/2023 18:05

I have a VERY famous friend. We’ve been mates for almost 30 years and before they were famous. Of course our friendship is private and I would never tell the press anything about them.

BUT one of our friend group from the early days did. It wasn’t anything major but was pretty personal and something they didn’t want to share with the rest of the world. Following this we were all asked to sign NDAs and I happily agreed. It didn’t change our relationship one bit but if gave them reassurance that we were true friends and could be trusted. Don’t underestimate how much having private information shared publicly can impact on someone’s life when people they thought they were friends turn out not to be.

I have been offered six figures to spill the beans. Some people have a price at which they can be bought. I value my friendship more.

Although I guess your friend is more likely going on a reality TV show where the production team want control over the narrative. Or she’s won the lottery. Either way if you sign the NDA then you can find out 😂😂😂

Well, I guess I can understand that.

anotheruser173 · 02/01/2023 18:27

I'd sign. I mean, I wouldn't sell out my mates anyway, and if she was worried enough to need the reassurance of a lawyer drafting something, I'd do it for her peace of mind. I wouldn't want my friend worrying about something that wouldn't happen, especially if I could definitively prove to her that it wouldn't happen.

StaunchMomma · 02/01/2023 18:28

AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 18:26

Would I willingly create a legal instrument with which someone could sue me and cause irreparable financial damage in case of a misunderstanding? No.

There is no upside for you in this.

Exactly!

You'd be handing her the means to drag you through court if she decided she thought you'd gone against it and then you'd be forced to go through a nightmare to defend yourself.

It would be a big fat no from me and I don't think I'd miss a friendship with someone so demanding.

LetsDoThis2023 · 02/01/2023 18:28

BradfordGirl · 02/01/2023 18:23

@LetsDoThis2023 I can understand why she would not want that made public. But it did involve him too. To stop someone talking to anyone about how his GF got pregnant and had a termination is I think wrong.

Yes. All about managing their reputation isn't it.

B1993 · 02/01/2023 18:31

@LetsDoThis2023, it's a shame for your friend - doesn't seem like he was given many choices in this situation.

Wheresthebeach · 02/01/2023 18:35

I wouldn't be comfortable with that - too easy to end up tangled in lawyers over 'he said, she said' type accusations. I don't think a friendship can work when one has a legal document covering what the other can say.

Bpdqueen · 02/01/2023 18:39

I think most celebrities have been screwed over by friends and family so they will find it hard to trust others I don't think what they are asking is unreasonable

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/01/2023 18:41

What do you get in return? Unless the agreement is in the form of a deed then I don't see what the consideration would be unless she plans to bung you a quid.

Why on earth would you agree to sign something that has no upside for you but substantial downside.

BradfordGirl · 02/01/2023 18:42

@Bpdqueen Do you not understand the risk for the friend? Why is it okay for them to take this risk?

FeegleFion · 02/01/2023 18:42

I'd probably sign it. I never bad mouth anyone I care/cared about & keep confidences anyway. If she was my friend, asking all her friends & it makes her feel better, I wouldn't have a problem signing it

SirMingeALot · 02/01/2023 18:44

AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 18:26

Would I willingly create a legal instrument with which someone could sue me and cause irreparable financial damage in case of a misunderstanding? No.

There is no upside for you in this.

Yep. I only sign contracts that someone might try and enforce against me if I'm getting something out of it. I take the point from previous posters about difficulty enforcing, but the issue doesn't arise if you don't sign it.

ThereIbledit · 02/01/2023 18:45

It's an interesting one isn't it. I can see both sides. I don't think I'd sign it though - as others have said, it's all downside and no upside for you.

whynotwhatknot · 02/01/2023 18:46

how long have you been friends-if one of my friends asked me to sign sometghing id laugh-either they trust me or not and we wouldnt be friends

Bpdqueen · 02/01/2023 18:48

BradfordGirl · 02/01/2023 18:42

@Bpdqueen Do you not understand the risk for the friend? Why is it okay for them to take this risk?

No I didn't think about how op could end up losing her house and owing loads of money until I read more comments. I now completely change my answer and absolutely would not sign it

Thingstodotwo · 02/01/2023 18:49

It wouldn’t be legally binding unless there’s some consideration offered - as someone else has says this is usually something asked of someone in the context of a job (consideration being the job/salary) but in this case it would be a payment (which can be nominal - say £1). I’d take advice before signing.

ExtraOnions · 02/01/2023 18:53

I’m related to a Celeb … and through them are friends with other Celebs (none from reality TV or Influencers …). Never been asked to sign an NDA, would never say anything to the press anyway … but crikey, the things I know 😂😂😂😂

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 18:55

Bpdqueen · 02/01/2023 18:39

I think most celebrities have been screwed over by friends and family so they will find it hard to trust others I don't think what they are asking is unreasonable

If friends screw each other over there's no possibility of signing an NDA when it puts your friend in a position of screwing you over.

Michelle1964 · 02/01/2023 18:56

No, a typo is where you accidentally transpose two adjacent letters in a word (e.g. wirtten instead of written) or hit an adjacent key (e.g. writter instead of written). Yours was incorrect grammar.

MichelleScarn · 02/01/2023 19:02

AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 18:26

Would I willingly create a legal instrument with which someone could sue me and cause irreparable financial damage in case of a misunderstanding? No.

There is no upside for you in this.

Absolutely this! How would you prove any disclosure or gossip wasn't you? Can't imagine you'd have any choice but to pay to go to court?

Calphurnia88 · 02/01/2023 19:03

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 18:55

If friends screw each other over there's no possibility of signing an NDA when it puts your friend in a position of screwing you over.

Show quote history

This could well be me, but I've read your reply several times and can't understand what you mean by this 🤔

Happyher · 02/01/2023 19:06

I wouldn’t sign it. I’d be quite offended if a friend asked me to sign one. Not that any are likely to. It’s up to her not to do anything embarrassing or tell lies

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 19:08

Calphurnia88 · 02/01/2023 19:03

This could well be me, but I've read your reply several times and can't understand what you mean by this 🤔

Show quote history

Well the celeb wants their friend to sign an NDA because friends can screw each other over.

If the NDA is signed the friend can be screwed over by the Celeb claiming that the friend has said something and asking for compensation.

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 02/01/2023 19:09

Notyetamother · 02/01/2023 18:24

What I would do actually is sign it to cover yourself, but then pull away and ask not to know about anything about the person, or be involved. That's just how I would handle it. To me they don't trust you, but cover yourself !

Cover yourself how? From what? It doesn't protect OP from anything. Signing it to "cover yourself" makes no sense. All it does is expose OP to additional legal and financial risk. Its function is to create a route by which the friend can punish OP for real or imagined infractions, by forcing OP through a stressful and expensive legal process. If OP wants to give the friend this extra power over her that the friend has asked for, then I guess that's up to her, but signing doesn't protect OP from being accused of breaking trust, just ramps up the potential consequences if she is.