Friend asking me to sign an NDA

[Shinebrightinthenight]

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

I've signed NDAs as part of my employment contracts - as others have said, I get a job out of it.

However, when there have been specific projects where they've tried to impose extra NDAs, I've refused and said my employment contract (and my duties to the court as a solicitor) are sufficient.

If I knew a famous person, I would be rather flummoxed by the "requirement" to sign an NDA. About what? They can't impose a duty of confidentiality retrospectively, because it's unlikely that previous information disclosed/that the OP knew would be confidential anyway (eg family stuff, things that happened at school, an affair she might have had), so all they'd be doing is saying "I won't tell you about x project I am working on unless you sign it". At that point you'd have to decide if you want to know about x project.

When you sign a confidentiality agreement, the information protected has to have the "necessary quality of confidence". I can't see that that is effectively gossip has that quality.

I would not sign it unless I was going to be asked to be involved in some sort of project, and then I'd expect it to come from the media/production/publishing company etc, not her. And of course, as others have said, you have to get something in return eg money. Although there is an argument that being involved in a project could be "payment" enough.

Sounds like something has happened which accounts for the sudden change.

I would be hurt but if she’s been stung by a so called friend recently then I’d understand why she’s doing it.

Depending on how long I’ve known her and how much she knows about me would help me decide whether I sign it or end the friendship.

The issue is that plenty of celebrities, especially the influencer types, appear to have lots of people as "friends" who are not real friends. You never see Adele or Jodie Foster's friends selling them out.

Are NDAs allowed to broken if the subject they refer to ever does something illegal? what about morally objectionable?

Some NDAs forbid you from working for or communicating with a competitor (real or perceived). In the context of a famous person, sometimes they get overly restrictive on this. As in if you’re a friend and makeup artist for Beyoncé, she may slip into an NDA that you can’t do make up for or communicate with…and list other famous female singers. This is overly restrictive and I’d expect legal counsel to advise it be taken out. Another one might be, if you take any photos of yourself with said person, you have to pay a fee & get permission to post your photo of you + famous person on your SM.

NDAs can have crazy shit slipped in them. So you want something that is clean and fair.

it's really only a sinister task if you intend to ever breach their friendship, loyalty and trust. If this is being asked if you, you can be sure there's a firm reason your friend needs this

What utter bullshit. @DoubleShotEspresso

I sympathise with people's whose trust has been broken, or who are in a vulnerable position like the public eye, but asking someone to sign an NDA is still an over-reach.

Your reasoning is similar to saying 'We want to spy on everything you do 24hrs a day, we want to know every single detail about your private life.....surely that's only a problem if you have something to hide.....yes'?

Again, I sympathise as to why people feel like they need to others to sign an NDA, but if the other person is just a regular person, and not someone who is a celebrity or with loads of money, then you are asking them to put themselves in a vulnerable position and not be able to tell others about your nonsense or abusive behaviour.

It's not trust if there's a threat behind it.

I'm not that wealthy — if a "celebrity" friend decided to act on an NDA I'd signed, I'd probably lose everything I have, just from the cost of legal representation, whether I'd blabbed or not. If they don't trust me enough to be friends with me without the threat of legal action to hold over me, I don't trust them enough not to ruin me.

They do not apply in the event of illegality.

If, for example, you were drunk (or just gossiping) and mentioned something the “celebrity” friend had said/done whilst speaking to another friend or a family member etc, then word got out, you could suddenly be liable for damages under the NDA. Not something I would sign up to unless paid a substantial sum!

No I wouldn’t sign
Yes I agree with advice have your own lawyer read it, for content and any unreasonable clauses

@Greatly good to know & something morally dubious?

I'd want to know what it means- is it retrospective? Is it anything to do with the friend? Or specific things. If we'd been on holidays together in college am I no longer allowed talk about it to anyone or just the press or I'm allowed mention the holiday but not her involvement? Is it about something specific she's about to disclose? I understand work because it's a specific compartment of your life and no ones business. But with friends you've cross over with various social outings and potentially family etc

You'd be surprised how many 'friends' give up on the relationship and sell their 'friends' out when they see there is money to be made.

I wouldn’t sign. Friends should trust each other.

Because it’s not binding unless there is consideration anyway ….

Good point.

Gosh. Thanks so much for pointing that out. I was having a really hard time understanding what OP meant......🙄

I wouldn't sign it. It implies you'd sell a story without it. Sad that they're that paranoid. You can't buy or coerce trust.

I guess if you were going to do something morally objectionable you could ask someone to sign an NDA to say they wouldn't blab. But you'd kind of have to tell them what it was before they signed, it seems like a risky prospect to me.

But you can't be required to sign an NDA for something that happened years ago unless there were very specific circumstances that meant it could be proven that it was confidential and you and anyone else who signed an NDA were the only ones who knew about it. But again, I think there'd have to be payment in return for that. Not just "sign this and don't gossip to the media about me".

I suppose it depends on what you know about her and if so called friends have disclosed things in the past. You say you wouldn’t sell a story but a lot of people have a price or would have no problem selling out an ex friend if they have a disagreement or they unexpectedly fall on hard times.

Would you buy a house from a friend without legal paperwork?

Or buy a car from a friend without the pink slip?

Sometimes a phone call is not enough.

I hope you laughed in her face!

(Unless of course unless she's Cate Blanchett).

My - possibly cynical - thinking is that lawyers are trying to make some money by advising "celebs" to do this following the Vardy/Rooney case.... if it were me, i wouldn't want to sign one.

It is a good point that if your friend decided you had gossiped, even though you had not, but took you to court because of the NDA, simply defending yourself could bankrupt you. Or at least cost a lot of money.
By signing it you are putting yourself at risk of future court action. Because someone untrusting enough to get all their friends to sign an NDA, is also the type who may start throwing around unfounded accusations if leaks do occur.
I would not put myself at risk in this way.