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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me to sign an NDA

351 replies

Shinebrightinthenight · 02/01/2023 16:45

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

OP posts:
PrincessNakatomi · 02/01/2023 17:14

I’d sign it on the condition that she pay for an independent lawyer for you, to advise you on what you’re signing.

Soothsayer1 · 02/01/2023 17:15

I think I would offer to sign it for a fee, just to see what her next move is😂

OhmygodDont · 02/01/2023 17:15

Meh wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Signed quite a few. I’m not a leaky sieve so got nothing to worry about.

Dancingdragonhiddentiger · 02/01/2023 17:15

I can see if you were famous it would put such a block up m/fear that someone might sell a story about you to the national papers. Since I would never do that, I’d sign it as an act of friendship for their peace of mind.

Ponderingwindow · 02/01/2023 17:16

I sign them all the time for work and they aren’t really significant in that context and because of the nature of my work often protect me as much as they protect the entity with the information.

In this situation, I would want it reviewed by a solicitor before signing.

littlemousebigcheese · 02/01/2023 17:16

If she was my friend and I cared about her I would sign it. I'd want her to feel secure in our friendship and obviously something has prompted her to do this. Not signing it looks suspicious and I'd never sell out my friends for anything so there'd be no reason not to sign it

SeasonFinale · 02/01/2023 17:16

I guess if you don't then she may decide that actually you aren't a good friend because surely a good friend would and would understand why. Maybe she is seeing who her true friends are by asking and then knows who to drop from her circle if they refuse.

UnicornsHaveDadsToo · 02/01/2023 17:16

Ffsmakeitstop · 02/01/2023 16:47

Are you in UK? I always understood they weren't binding. Saying that I don't know any so-called celebrities.
Seems a weird thing to ask a friend.

You might be confusing an NDA with a prenuptial agreement. They're totally different things and NDAs are fully enforceable in UK as long as they've been drawn up properly. NDAs are pretty standard in many settings including industry and academia, but also to protect personal details.

OP, it depends on the risk profile of your celebrity friend. This may be something advised by their legal team if their celebrity is prominent enough, or they could just be a pretentious arsehole. You need to decide which end of that spectrum your friend is on, and act accordingly.

Greatly · 02/01/2023 17:16

PrincessNakatomi · 02/01/2023 17:14

I’d sign it on the condition that she pay for an independent lawyer for you, to advise you on what you’re signing.

I presume to stop OP from sharing any info about friend to the papers/social media.

I really can't understand why anyone would have a problem with this - it doesn't affect you and it reassures your friend.

Wonnle · 02/01/2023 17:16

Tulipomania · 02/01/2023 17:14

I have signed several NDAs for work-related stuff, but this seems a bit odd.

What happens if you don't sign it?

You become an ex friend of course

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 17:16

I'd not sign it without legal counsel if it were me.

What if there was some criminal activity? You'd probably be silenced from saying anything.

She's probably either pre-empting some tittle-tattle or she's so full of herself, despite no longer being in the limelight that it makes her seem more important than she is.

FurryDandelionSeekingMissile · 02/01/2023 17:17

I wouldn't be keen to continue a friendship with someone who wanted to impose a massive legal and financial risk on me, in exchange for nothing more than the dubious privilege of being their friend. Asking me to sign an NDA would be the end of the friendship, unless she got over herself and apologised for asking.

JaniceBattersby · 02/01/2023 17:17

I’d sign it and then our friendship would be over. If she doesn’t trust you then how can you trust her?

WilsonMilson · 02/01/2023 17:18

Where’s the benefit to you? Or is it that the friendship depends on it? If you don’t sign it, will she drop you?

I couldn’t be arsed with pandering to this sort of self obsessed shit. I’d laugh and tell her to get over herself. If she drops you, so be it.

These minor celebs really are so ridiculous. Quite sad really. I know a few people who are well known and I’ve never encountered this level of narcissism.

DoubleShotEspresso · 02/01/2023 17:18

ILoveeCakes · 02/01/2023 17:06

I don't think I'd sign away my right to speak.

Not that I'd sell stories to the papers, as I'd find that dirty, but I wouldn't sign up for a gagging order either - that would also feel dirty.

Good friends don't generally need a gagging order as they'd consider it disloyal to exploit their friendship surely?

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 02/01/2023 17:18

Greatly · 02/01/2023 16:51

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Why should she?

Onnabugeisha · 02/01/2023 17:18

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 17:16

I'd not sign it without legal counsel if it were me.

What if there was some criminal activity? You'd probably be silenced from saying anything.

She's probably either pre-empting some tittle-tattle or she's so full of herself, despite no longer being in the limelight that it makes her seem more important than she is.

NDAs are not binding about anything illegal.

winningeasy · 02/01/2023 17:18

Who is it?

Come on spill the tea OP

UnicornsHaveDadsToo · 02/01/2023 17:19

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 17:16

I'd not sign it without legal counsel if it were me.

What if there was some criminal activity? You'd probably be silenced from saying anything.

She's probably either pre-empting some tittle-tattle or she's so full of herself, despite no longer being in the limelight that it makes her seem more important than she is.

An NDA doesn't and cannot stop you giving evidence in a criminal matter.

GlassBunion · 02/01/2023 17:19

Ah, ok . Thank you @Onnabugeisha

PrincessNakatomi · 02/01/2023 17:19

Greatly · 02/01/2023 17:16

I presume to stop OP from sharing any info about friend to the papers/social media.

I really can't understand why anyone would have a problem with this - it doesn't affect you and it reassures your friend.

Show quote history

Have you quoted me in error?

FfaCoffi · 02/01/2023 17:20

I can think of one person I know who'd do this, and she's a raging narcissist, although that wasn't obvious when I first met her.

I'd steer clear of anyone who would make an NDA a condition of friendship.

People who seem charismatic and caring at first, can turn out to be abusive over time. If you've signed an NDA then you won't be able to tell anyone. Protect yourself by not signing it

Calphurnia88 · 02/01/2023 17:21

EmmaDilemma5 · 02/01/2023 17:04

Why wouldn't you sign it?

Friendships, like any relationship, do often end. Sometimes not nicely. So it's common sense for her to want an NDA, it's not personal.

If it was my friend, I'd sign it no problem.

Me too.

Although as PP have suggested, I would seek my own legal advice before signing so I am crystal clear on the terms.

Sarah2891 · 02/01/2023 17:21

WilsonMilson · 02/01/2023 17:18

Where’s the benefit to you? Or is it that the friendship depends on it? If you don’t sign it, will she drop you?

I couldn’t be arsed with pandering to this sort of self obsessed shit. I’d laugh and tell her to get over herself. If she drops you, so be it.

These minor celebs really are so ridiculous. Quite sad really. I know a few people who are well known and I’ve never encountered this level of narcissism.

Yep, the minor ones are always the worst.

catandcoffee · 02/01/2023 17:21

Unless your friend is Rooneys wife....can't think of her first name.... then I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.😃