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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me to sign an NDA

351 replies

Shinebrightinthenight · 02/01/2023 16:45

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

OP posts:
SavoirFlair · 02/01/2023 20:11

I see the OP has treated this thread like a New Years firework… light the touch paper and get the hell away..

hope everyone’s enjoying the “mystery” and “celeb” aspects of this thread 🙄

Energydrink · 02/01/2023 20:15

I would understand it from my friends perspective and just sign it. People get married and it turns nasty… same can happen in friendships. She is protecting herself.

if you are never gonna breach her trust, what is the problem?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/01/2023 20:16

What's your problem with it? You have not explained.

PegasusReturns · 02/01/2023 20:22

I’ve got some direct experience of this.

she is almost certainly about to sign up for a TV show. If you sign she’ll be able to tell you some of the details of what she’s doing. If you don’t sign be prepared for her to be too busy/have a bug/be on hols for the duration of her training/travelling/pre-screening periods.

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 20:25

PegasusReturns · 02/01/2023 20:22

I’ve got some direct experience of this.

she is almost certainly about to sign up for a TV show. If you sign she’ll be able to tell you some of the details of what she’s doing. If you don’t sign be prepared for her to be too busy/have a bug/be on hols for the duration of her training/travelling/pre-screening periods.

If this is the case then the NDA should be bound by a limit to any claim of demonstratable direct financial benefit to the defendant.

Cas112 · 02/01/2023 20:30

I don't get why you wouldn't if you was her friend? Yes she might not be to famous and it might seem a bit OTT but if she's in that industry she is probably trying to protect herself or she might be about to do something/sign up for something that may get more public attention. Unless you to mention her business to people why wouldn't you sign it? I don't get it

Unless you think she is going to do something harmful to you or your mental health?

Nocutenamesleft · 02/01/2023 20:32

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 20:07

Worked with

not was friends with. Makes all the difference.

I’ve signed the official secrets act. NDAs for work. all fine and reasonable.

A supposed friend who wants me to sign one to protect them from me? They can fuck off. Even asking would probably end that friendship for me.

Show quote history

Oh yes. For work for sure use one!!! And of course enforceable. I meant what’s she’s going to sign it for as a friend? I mean she can’t sign it for confidentiality can she as @lieselotte explained.

BradfordGirl · 02/01/2023 20:36

PegasusReturns · 02/01/2023 20:22

I’ve got some direct experience of this.

she is almost certainly about to sign up for a TV show. If you sign she’ll be able to tell you some of the details of what she’s doing. If you don’t sign be prepared for her to be too busy/have a bug/be on hols for the duration of her training/travelling/pre-screening periods.

Honestly I would be quite happy not to sign and for her to distance herself until she gets over herself.

PrinnyPree · 02/01/2023 20:39

Say you can't sign anything you don't understand the full implications of and you don't want to/can't afford to start hiring solicitors to maintain a friendship.

There is no way I would sign an NDA about a friendship, crikey that is so open ended, does it mean not specifically going to the press about gossip or not discussing your friend with any third party? Could you not say to your Mum or sibling oh VIP friend is thinking of moving abroad or has got a new pet. Does that get you in financial bother? Christ.

PrincessNakatomi · 02/01/2023 20:41

ExtraOnions · 02/01/2023 18:53

I’m related to a Celeb … and through them are friends with other Celebs (none from reality TV or Influencers …). Never been asked to sign an NDA, would never say anything to the press anyway … but crikey, the things I know 😂😂😂😂

I don’t think it’s interesting anywhere except in your own mind.

whynotwhatknot · 02/01/2023 20:41

the op says shes already known unless its an influencer just about to go on love island (who i wouldnt know if they bit me)

JustJustWhy · 02/01/2023 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It seems so (other than me) and having scrolled through the whole thread I think that's pretty shocking. Just waiting to see which which tabloid will "stumble" upon this discussion...

Cimone · 02/01/2023 20:59

Tell her people in hell want ice water too. They don't get it, and she is not getting a NDA out of you. Tell her that since she doesn't seem to trust you the relationship is now over and wish her well. no way I would allow someone to railroad me like that and she is only a Grade C celebrity. LOL

daisychain01 · 02/01/2023 21:03

It's so ironic that the OP has raised this thread about their Oh So Famous Sleb mate who wants them to sign a NDA.

well if I was the friend and happened across this thread, not only would I not waste my money on a NDA but also would view this thread as exactly the reason why I thought I'd need one, and distance myself from the OP as fully and quickly as possible, on that basis.

PhillySub · 02/01/2023 21:03

She is no longer your friend. You are now seen as a part of her daily life risk assessment.

bobbytorq · 02/01/2023 21:04

I wouldn't pander to any of this pretentious bollocks. I'd refuse and if that ended the friendship, then so be it. CF for even asking.

daisychain01 · 02/01/2023 21:05

JustJustWhy · 02/01/2023 20:50

It seems so (other than me) and having scrolled through the whole thread I think that's pretty shocking. Just waiting to see which which tabloid will "stumble" upon this discussion...

Show quote history

I expect the OP has buggered off because nobody is clamouring to know who the Sleb is. It's one big yawn.

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 21:14

daisychain01 · 02/01/2023 21:03

It's so ironic that the OP has raised this thread about their Oh So Famous Sleb mate who wants them to sign a NDA.

well if I was the friend and happened across this thread, not only would I not waste my money on a NDA but also would view this thread as exactly the reason why I thought I'd need one, and distance myself from the OP as fully and quickly as possible, on that basis.

But there’s no way of knowing who the ‘celeb’ friend is.

And none of us care. 🤷🏻‍♀️

emptythelitterbox · 02/01/2023 21:14

TabithaTittlemouse · 02/01/2023 17:29

The fact that she’s asked you to sign one and you’ve come to ask mn probably doesn’t fill her with much confidence.

Yes, this!
Some people can't resist running their mouths over everything.

daisychain01 · 02/01/2023 21:26

I expect the Sleb friend thinks the OP needs them more than they need the OP, which is often the case when someone's "famous".

Sorts the wheat from the chaff as they say.

blameless · 02/01/2023 21:41

Any chance that the Celeb has breached an NDA or contract stipulation herself and is now attempting to get the worms back in the can?

There are very good reasons why people should find out exactly what they are signing. Lots of commercially sensitive information that doesn't mean much at the time is shared over a drink - the OP could end up in a world of pain for signing carelessly.

RenovationsUnderway · 02/01/2023 21:41

I'm too stupid to understand any of this

MiniCooperLover · 02/01/2023 21:44

NDAs are definitely legal but they are usually restricted with certain terms, so potential personalised for a person by an employer, an occasion etc. What does she consider so special about herself she thinks you'll sell ?! Oh

AliceOlive · 02/01/2023 21:54

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 02/01/2023 19:52

I wouldn't hesitate personally. My friends are important to me and if they needed it to feel safe I'd do it.

My friends are important to me, also. But if I found out they only feel “safe” with me if I will agree to suffer financially if they think I stabbed them in the back? Well, then they don’t know me and we aren’t friends.

It’s basically a threat and a way to hold power over someone. If that is what someone feels would bind our relationship then it’s not a friendship at all.

Rollin · 02/01/2023 21:56

The NDA has to be specific - so what does it say exactly?
also, under these circumstances- pretty much unenforceable. We worked with NDAs on many of our projects and they’re not worth the paper they’re no longer printed on!
more of a reminder that something is supposed to be hush hush but we’d never actually sue anyone if they broke it. Not worth it.