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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me to sign an NDA

351 replies

Shinebrightinthenight · 02/01/2023 16:45

Aibu to refuse to sign it? I don’t understand why people would feel the need to put a friend that they trust under an NDA. She’s asked all her other friends to sign NDA’s as well so not just me. She is quite well known (was in the public eye) but nothings happened recently to cause this so it seems quite random to now be wanting to put us all under NDA. The NDA’s are proper ones as well that have been wrote by lawyers.

OP posts:
HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 19:13

If the friend thinks that you have something juicy to disclose and you're capable of disclosing it well

Might as well prove them right and make some money 😂

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 19:14

You could probably even sell this celeb asking friends to sign an NDA story for a few bob 😂

CantHaveTooMuchChocolate · 02/01/2023 19:16

Ffsmakeitstop · 02/01/2023 16:47

Are you in UK? I always understood they weren't binding. Saying that I don't know any so-called celebrities.
Seems a weird thing to ask a friend.

Simply not true, they’re quite common in sensitive commercial arrangements. In this case I’d refuse to sign without taking legal advice, you never know what you might be signing up to. I’ve always taken legal advice when signing commercial ones and sometimes refused/had them changed.

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 19:21

i don’t understand why so many people would be desperate to prove themselves to their celebrity friend by signing a legal agreement.

There’s no need to protect yourself in this situation. No risk to you unless you sign the legal document.

the friend who wants to ensure they have legal recourse to protect themselves from you is not really a friend any more. It’s all become some sort of weird business arrangement where you know they don’t trust you.

even if someone else has sold a story about them, making sure everyone has signed a NDA before you’ll associate with them is weird and unfriendly.

Deciding to become a celebrity of the kind suggested here is a choice. There are trade off to be made, including them feeling less able to form friendships. But they still choose the fame…

Catgotyourbrain · 02/01/2023 19:21

We have a very high profile friend who married someone even more high profile. Think personal security and a doctor on call with them all the time.

We’ve been to their house a number of times. Never been asked to sign anything. We have been checked out by their security company though 😵‍💫.

surprising number of perfectly ordinary other people at their family get togethers - and some 🤯ones too.

I never ever get my phone out as I want to continue to be invited

TheCatterall · 02/01/2023 19:24

If this is a good friend - why not just ask her.

hey friend, about the NDA - just wondering what’s brought this about that you feel you need friends to sign them? Because surely if you are at the point the you want folks to sign them - then you are already holding back in a friendship for fear of what might be said or done?

having said that - we have a toxic media and social media culture where we happily spill our guts on someone else’s private life and thoughts.

ThinWomansBrain · 02/01/2023 19:25

for a contract to be legally binding, there has to be consideration - how much is she offering you as consideration for signing it?

I'd negotiate on that, then say no😋
sounds egotistical and twattish - plus indicates she has no trust in you.

Bs0u416d · 02/01/2023 19:26

TheShellBeach · 02/01/2023 16:52

Do you mean "written" by lawyers?

This 😂

Jellykat · 02/01/2023 19:29

I'd be offended if one of my friends did this, she obviously doesnt trust you, lets be honest!

Calphurnia88 · 02/01/2023 19:31

HotChoxs · 02/01/2023 19:08

Well the celeb wants their friend to sign an NDA because friends can screw each other over.

If the NDA is signed the friend can be screwed over by the Celeb claiming that the friend has said something and asking for compensation.

Show quote history

Ah, got you.

I agree - my initial reaction to this thread was 'why wouldn't you?' but having reflected on all the replies I can see how signing an NDA can put someone in a very vulnerable position.

B1993 · 02/01/2023 19:38

@Calphurnia88, I was the same with my thinking. I didn't see the harm in signing personally, given that I wouldn't knowingly disclose private details to the press of any friend. However, I can see the point that it's all too easy for the celeb friend to get the wrong end of the stick with 'leaks' to the press and that would obviously cause financial and personal devastation to the individual if a legal case was taken against them.

FKATondelayo · 02/01/2023 19:38

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 19:21

i don’t understand why so many people would be desperate to prove themselves to their celebrity friend by signing a legal agreement.

There’s no need to protect yourself in this situation. No risk to you unless you sign the legal document.

the friend who wants to ensure they have legal recourse to protect themselves from you is not really a friend any more. It’s all become some sort of weird business arrangement where you know they don’t trust you.

even if someone else has sold a story about them, making sure everyone has signed a NDA before you’ll associate with them is weird and unfriendly.

Deciding to become a celebrity of the kind suggested here is a choice. There are trade off to be made, including them feeling less able to form friendships. But they still choose the fame…

Best answer on this thread.

billybear · 02/01/2023 19:40

lol not got my glasses on,read with 1 eye thought it was a DNR,then i realised .should of gone to specsavers lol

stopthebarking · 02/01/2023 19:41

I'd be offended by such a request, tbh, and think the person had an overinflated opinion of their importance. If you're friends, you trust your friends to not spread gossip about you, and if you're an adult, you should know better than to tell even friends something that is that big of a secret. If it's big enough to be damaging in some way and don't trust your friends with your life, you keep it to yourself!

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 02/01/2023 19:44

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 19:21

i don’t understand why so many people would be desperate to prove themselves to their celebrity friend by signing a legal agreement.

There’s no need to protect yourself in this situation. No risk to you unless you sign the legal document.

the friend who wants to ensure they have legal recourse to protect themselves from you is not really a friend any more. It’s all become some sort of weird business arrangement where you know they don’t trust you.

even if someone else has sold a story about them, making sure everyone has signed a NDA before you’ll associate with them is weird and unfriendly.

Deciding to become a celebrity of the kind suggested here is a choice. There are trade off to be made, including them feeling less able to form friendships. But they still choose the fame…

I completely agree with this. I work with NDAs and confidentiality clauses day in, day out and I would not be signing this, not least because NDAs usually have unlimited liability which means the sky is the limit in terms of damages if your friend decides to sue. And that's before the legal costs of defending yourself, even if you weren't the one who leaked the information. She might have the funds to bring about such a case; I suspect most of us ordinary mortals do not.

Hellybelly84 · 02/01/2023 19:46

No way! A true friend wouldn’t go blabbing to the newspapers anyway, so she will have to learn (the hard way!) if any of her friends are not true friends. By asking you to sign that, she is effectively saying she doesn’t completely trust you or her other friends which is awful.

Or maybe she is getting too big for her boots and likes the idea of it?

BradfordGirl · 02/01/2023 19:46

What would she say if you asked her to sign a NDA agreeing to not disclose anything about you to anyone else?
Or is it only her privacy that matters?

Verbena17 · 02/01/2023 19:47

A true friend would NOT be asking you to sign an NDA.
If someone asked me to (not that I know anyone famous), I would walk away.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 02/01/2023 19:52

I wouldn't hesitate personally. My friends are important to me and if they needed it to feel safe I'd do it.

NowThatsWhatICall22 · 02/01/2023 19:59

Cringe at this. If they haven’t got anything coming up (reality show, for example, where they couldn’t risk a story leaking) I’d suggest they have poor MH just now if they have anxiety over a real life friend selling a story. Unless it’s a reverse and it’s to make you think of selling a story, they get some new exposure, you get paid, win-win. 🧐

Nocutenamesleft · 02/01/2023 20:01

So I worked with high profile people and had to sign these all the time!

literally not worth the paper they are printed on but with regard to work I wouldn’t of ever said anything to anyone or the press about anything worth mentioning. I have too much respect for people.

not that big of a deal. Just refuse to sign it.

Nocutenamesleft · 02/01/2023 20:02

You’ll find the not that famous people get proper shitty though. Rather than the REALLY famous people who either don’t care or already have super thick skins

‘its always the little people’ Is something a work friend used to say

Highfivemum · 02/01/2023 20:06

I know a few well known celebrities one of whom is very famous yet none of them have ever asked me to do this. We trust each other. I would be mortified if I was asked to do this. I would never breach their trust and they know that. If they didn’t we wouldn’t be friends. I treat all my friends the same. I don’t repeat anything on any of them famous or not. I would question my friendship.

TheYummyPatler · 02/01/2023 20:07

Nocutenamesleft · 02/01/2023 20:01

So I worked with high profile people and had to sign these all the time!

literally not worth the paper they are printed on but with regard to work I wouldn’t of ever said anything to anyone or the press about anything worth mentioning. I have too much respect for people.

not that big of a deal. Just refuse to sign it.

Worked with

not was friends with. Makes all the difference.

I’ve signed the official secrets act. NDAs for work. all fine and reasonable.

A supposed friend who wants me to sign one to protect them from me? They can fuck off. Even asking would probably end that friendship for me.