Itchy vagina condition ruining sex life and worried about my marriage

[ncpostingabout]

I've had this on and off for years and years.

I was told it's recurring thrush but this week has been horrendous and I figured it just cannot still be thrush these years later.

So I googled and looks like it could be a rare condition called lichen sclerosus which causes pain burning and itching around genitals. Apparently a lifelong condition - I'm gutted.

Does anyone have this or anything similar? Please share experiences but it's really impacting sex life.

DH wants sex, I tell him it's painful but then he thinks if it's gentle it'll be ok and I end up feeling incredibly guilty.

Please I can do without LTB this is the real world and facing reality my sex life is affected like this is very upsetting - for both of us.

Any advice, not sure why I'm posting I guess for traffic to ask if anyone has similar experience or really how I should handle this from a relationship perspective.

So NC for obvious reasons!

That sounds awful, I’m so sorry. I think step #1 before giving up hope is getting a proper gynaecology referral (or two, or three). I recently read The Vagina Bible, which really opened my eyes to how many treatable conditions women suffer through for lack of a consult with anyone beyond their local GP.

I have this too

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers thank you. I've been so upset today as had a major flare up in part because I had sex even though I knew it would be painful because of feeling guilty.

It's really getting me down. I'm going to my regular gp tomorrow to get a referral ASAP/ I don't want to have to pay but might have to as it can't wait

@sociallydistained how do you cope? Are you in a relationship ship?

I haven't tested but after googling I'm almost certain it is this

Sorry for short post, none of my posts were going through before so I needed to test it before writing lots!

I and mine diagnosed in 2015. You need to tell the doctors you are sure you have it and have a steroid cream prescribed. I got mine under control with this and had no other issues until this year after the birth of my baby :(
I think it's because I'm breastfeeding too. I hadn't used a steroid cream or anything in years so I'm back to the beginning and trying to treat and get under control.

I'm sorry you're going through this, lovely. It's absolutely shit isn't it but I'm here to tell you it can go into remission.

Do you have white patches at the top and bottom of your vagina and around it? If so that's definitely LS. Mine weren't obvious to me originally but my skin around the area seems to be discoloured this time :(

@sociallydistained the skin is very very dry and when took a photo yes it appeared white though could just be dry skin so I'm not sure. It's so so horrible isn't it I'm so sad 😞

@sociallydistained i want a biopsy to be certain

@sociallydistained does it affect your sex life if so how do you deal with that?

To answer your question yes I was diagnosed with this purely by accident after going to get some warts removed down below the lady at the sexual health clinic asked me if I'd heard of this disease and she thought I had it. I was terrified. I went to a private gyene to have it diagnosed (not really necessary but I panicked). I was with an ex partner at the time. Sex could be painful at the top of my vagina cuts open 😩 fortunately for me that's the only painful part and again with treatment this goes away. It didn't have a massive impact on sex life after that.

I never even had to tell my current partner about it because it has not reared its ugly life again until now. I am not having sex until I have it under control but with a young baby it's not high on my list anyway 😩

Your DH should be treating you as if you had any other illness or health condition: with care and compassion. His dick isn't going to fall off just because you can't have as much sex as he wants because you're in pain.

It's not this is it OP? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulvar_vestibulitis
Just putting it out there

@sociallydistained my DH is really not empathetic when we don't have sex. It puts a strain on our relationship massively.

If we go a week without sex he will say we haven't had it for a month that's what it feels like to him.

It's creating real problems because I do not enjoy sex most of the time. He still has it when he knows I'm sore - because he doesn't say oh let's not have it because I feel bad and want you to enjoy it. It makes me feel annoyed he behaves like this and it worries me

I never had a biopsy none was needed but of course go for that if you can. Dermovate is a good treatment but try and ask for the ointment as that's more effective. I've unfortunately got the cream this time. My GP this time also prescribed me hydrocortisone just a basic one which had no effect even going through two tubes so don't be fobbed off with that.

Would you think so self referring to your local Sexual Health Clinic?

I feel your pain though - I get recurring thrush and vaginitis with eczema due to it. Just awful.

@MontyBoston I put it down to LS because it is linked to other autoimmune conditions and I also have autoimmune so figured likely and have other symptoms linked too

@MontyBoston that's probably going to be the quickest way I get to see a gynaecologist isn't it?

This week has just been the worst. I have not been able to wear underwear for three days which is just awful for me - unhygienic I know but honestly it would have killed me any other way

I have other autoimmune issues too (Graves disease) and considered LS at one stage too. GP might not be adept at spotting issues but Sexual health clinic might be more clued in.

I have an allergy to Canestan cream too which really muddied the waters. Crikey - who'd be a woman?

Sorry you're going through that with your husband. That would piss me right off! This is condition you need to get under control and you may have to lay down the law with him about that. I kept having sex and the top area of my vagina kept splitting which was painful. I was in a fairly new relationship and I wanted the sex myself so it was my fault 🤦🏻‍♀️ I actually remember using a numbing cream on that part to get through that 🙈
This time around I'm focusing on healing. I'm so gutted it's back but I had years without it and I'm hopeful I can get there again. I will stop breastfeeding at some point after my baby is 1 maybe that'll help as I think hormones play a part. I even had a 2 year gap between relationships with only one instance of sex between and I was absolutely fine starting up a sex life again (I've read online that the area can start to get smaller and cover over again without treatment and sex 🤦🏻‍♀️ so maybe I was lucky there)

I was diagnosed with lichen sclerosis after the birth of my first child but in hindsight I had had it for years.
I was referred to vulval dermatology and had terrible itching, white patches and soreness. You need to push for a referral and say you suspect LS.
As you said, it is lifelong unfortunately but I have learnt to get on top of the symptoms. You need a combination of a separate daily moisturizer and a steroid cream. I use zeroderm (which you can buy with no prescription) and dermovate which you have to get prescribed. You can use zeroderm instead of soap in the bath or shower also.

One of my closest friends has LS, and another of her friends has it too. Get a proper diagnosis first, then you’ll know what your options are.

but that husband? He needs to be told it straight, and if he ‘can’t manage’ without sex, and puts his wants, above your pain… then you need to be considering your future.

Do you have children op? Imagine if your daughter came to you and told you that she has an extremely painful condition and that her husband knows about this yet insists on her still having sex. Despite knowing she is in agony and pressures her when she doesn't have sex. I think that's absolutely shocking op. I really hope you get the referral to the specialist and get treatment soon but I'd be taking a long hard look at your relationship too

@ILoveaSunflower is that a shower gel or do you apply that after too? I remember buying a special cream for the shower but never really used it. I'm now not putting anything in that area, no bubbles in bath water etc now it's back.

How old are you? I felt like this too when I was perimenopause - also lots of UTIs - oestrogen cream fixed it.

(But your DH is also a problem I'm afraid)